Tokenism, Hodge can do it

Cricket Victoria and the Victorian Police hope a few generic shots of cricket will appeal to the protesting Indian student community and hopefully appease their demand for justice and protection.

Fucking hell.

Note the supposed magic formula:

Cricketer + Police Officer + Indian Representative (with credit to sponsor KFC in biggest font possible) + Random Alleyway = Bravo, Instant Success! No need to actually deal with the problem at hand.

There's a difference between using cricketing figures for assurance and as a sort of relevant intermediary in the right circumstances, but this is bizarre and sadly undermines the seriousness of the attacks actually taking place in Australia.

Unity is one thing, but this is utter rubbish.

The Gilchrist Offensive

Pretty good, don't you reckon?

Okay, not just pretty good, but pretty fucking good. Just as the papers and headlines were talking about Shoaib's genital warts yesterday, it's Gilly all the way today. It was a great effort in the end which knocked the top dogs out of the competition.

I still don't like the look of him in that uniform. It highlights his more creepy qualities, and I couldn't for the live of me tell you what they are. It's intangible, the creepiness that blue uniform instils in Gilchrist.

According to Cricinfo, Gilly's opening partner Gibbs has gotten out for the most ducks this tournament, that being 4. I actually thought the honour would belong to a BRC player but they didn't give their openers enough games to do so. But maybe there should be an enquiry into Gibbs after the ridiculous KKR one involving Hodge being left out of the game. The fact that DC still succeeded despite Gibbs' duck just gives the idea more credibility. He was never good at fixing the game anyway.

Deccan Chargers finished up the match in the 18th over. In a semifinal. That's just really fucked up on some level, and I'm sure Delhi realise it. What's more, I'm sure AB realises it. No glory for him.

To mourn the loss of Delhi, if you're a fan of theirs, the infamous Page 2 has an interview with Dirk, which mostly seems to be about how much his kid wants to go to the beach. But there's some real gems in there:

"If I am not good enough to be in the top 30 Australian cricketers, I will eat my hat."

I can't think of another cricketer who would say that, and there should be more that do. But I'll eat my hat to that too.

You know the best compliment I got in this IPL? It came from AB [de Villiers]. He said, you have a beautiful family, fantastic kids and a wonderful wife. What more can I ask for?

And you also have God, Dirk. You also have God.

Blue Moon

Once you'd watched the first few overs of KKR batting, you'd have thought they were up to their usual tricks. You know, "sacrificing" their game for the good of the other teams, giving the other teams an easy win to help them on their way to the top. In fact, I was all too ready to pass a motion to have someone put KKR out of their misery.

I'd forgotten about Dave Hussey. He'd come back from the series against Pakistan and if there was one person who could literally change the course of the game it was him, no joke. And he did, looking quite pissed off when he got out. I would too.

Baz batted out the whole 20 overs. How's that for anchoring? He also seemed to be smiling an awful lot which can't be a good sign when someone like Brad Hodge mysteriously goes missing. Not that I'm complaining, but I wouldn't be surprised if Baz finally cracked and minced someone up for breakfast, namely Hodge.

Ishant Sharma has had an attack of the voodoo and has taped over the number and name on his shirt. What the fuck? Is there something I'm missing out on because that is weird as shit and also kind of creepy. It's as though he sat at his table manically taping over the number, rocking back and forth on his chair. Maybe his Adam's apple mutated and became an evil person of its own, or maybe it possessed Ishant. You never know with these Adam's apples.

And if I ever have to listen to Ramiz, Siva and Danny Morrison for ONE MORE MATCH, I will kill myself. It was enough to make me change the channel and watch an inane comedy about a call centre in Mumbai with Sanjeev Bhaskar of Kumars fame, which really wasn't that good but was certainly a welcome relief from Siva's slide antics and all the Danny Morrison fat jokes.

Jacques in the Top 5

Q has the current leading run scorers in the IPL up on his blog. I've never really looked at these as they're updated. Last I heard AB was somewhere in the top 5, but thankfully, he dropped out quickly.

Leading Batsmen
1. Matthew Hayden (CSK) - 6 inn, 246 runs at 41.00
2. Suresh Raina (CSK) - 6 inn, 232 runs at 38.67
3. Brad Hodge (KKR) - 7 inn, 230 runs at 46.00
4. Jacques Kallis (RCB) - 7 inn, 220 runs at 36.67
5. Adam Gilchrist (DC) - 6 inn, 210 runs at 41.80

What the fuck is Jacques Kallis doing on that list? NOOOOOOOOOO the world is crumbling around me.

Devastating is what this is. Kallis has made a mockery of T20 cricket. Maybe people will actually start believing he's a real T20 batsman. That would be the worst day of my life.

And for anyone who says his figures speak for themselves, SO DO HIS BOWLING FIGURES.

Riders might do it

Did you see Brad Hodge out there? When he came out it was just "yeah, here we go" and then off they went. I was half-expecting him to punch Morne van Wyk's head in before the last ball, but he seemed friendly enough. Maybe the six that followed did it.

If Kolkata bowl well, they can win this match. I don't even care to be honest, but it would be better if they won the match because the charts are evened up a little. Plus, it would mean Punjab don't knock Chennai out of the top 4.

Looking at the rankings, the IPL so far has been a very close affair. There's not that great a difference between the first and last teams, if you exclude KKR of course. It's still anyone's game and so the final four will likely come down to a matter of net run rates. Mumbai and Chennai are heading this race. If there's ever a battle for 4th spot with either of them involved, things will swing in their favour.

Mumbai will win the match against Bangalore.

And meanwhile, Shane Watson is hitting 50s. Go expressive hair.