Albie, you son of a gun

Did you see him bowl? Did you? Did you see him almost get Graeme Smith out first ball? Did you? DID YOU THEN SEE HIM GET OJHA OUT? Hahaha.

By the way Raj, I said I'd dedicate a post to you when Chennai won. Here it is. I hope you convert sometime soon because Chennai are likely to go to the semis and beat the crap out of every other team. Woohoo.

So Morne had been sent off and Shane Harwood brought in, a tactic to allow Badrinath to hit a mammoth over off him. That was funny, wasn't it? The Badri Assault, not to mention Haydos facing off Warnie and coming out the winner. So maybe he got out to Warnie, but he still hit him for six. Good times.

2 out of 2 for Chennai. That's looking good, considering they couldn't face Rajasthan last year.

Chennai were so good they didn't even need Dhoni or Albie to bat. Oram came in, and in the field he did some good work. Actually, they all did good work in the field, especially Raina. I've said this before but his weirdly shaped head is so much more endearing now.

So much for Chennai not being able to chase well. TAKE THAT, WARNIE. Chennai win... in your face.

Note: I'm choosing not to mention that highly disturbing over by Albie. My subconscious is helping me block it out.

The most satisfying feeling in the world

Nathan Bracken:
7 overs, 0/41, economy of 5.85. Most expensive bowler in the team.

That is the way it should be. Until he cuts off his hair, every batsman should punish him, no exceptions. Even Harwood's got a wicket and he's old and getting worse by the year. Fittingly, Bracken has dropped down to 5th in the ODI rankings. Chew on that, Nathan. Or chew on your hair with acid-strength saliva.

In other news, AB's strike rate has dropped down to below 100 once more, thank god, and South Africa bring up their 150. Gibbs is still playing, surprisingly, having not swung madly at every ball that's come his way and lobbed it to a fielder. Hopefully, AB and Gibbs get out so the real player/s can come in and do the work.

Kallis had a better strike rate than Smith. That's just weird.

--

Gibbs will attempt to hit a six to bring up his ton, and hit it straight to Ferguson.

WHAT THE FUCK AB, YOU STUPID PIECE OF SHIT.

The Echidna dropped AB. I am mortified for him. After the match AB will approach him and tell him Jesus doesn't care whether you drop a catch, he just loves your inner soul. Fuck that shit, Ferguson. YOU DROPPED AB.

HAHAHAHA, ALBIE'S PROMOTED UP THE ORDER. GET THE BAND GOING PLEASE.

Batting powerplay. I give you permission to go nuts, Albie. So does the Queen. Our prayers are with you, so let the bat do all the talking and along with hitting a half century, run out my arch nemesis AB de Villiers.

GIVE ALBIE THE GODDAMN STRIKE, AB. Show off.

Brett Lee Invents Excuses

When asked about why he wasn't chosen as the replacement bowler for Brett Geeves:

"Ah, well, I'm in Port Elizabeth, you know... training. With Kings XI. So they need me, right? Australia have a wealth of bowlers to draw upon, but I'm concerned with fulfilling the obligations of my IPL contract. Also... they didn't want to confuse anyone into thinking Brett was back because I'm also a Brett. So sometimes it gets a little hard for spectators, we try to keep that in mind."

Following this, when asked why Shane Harwood would be filling in for the 4th ODI before Stuart Clark took the mantle for the 5th:

"...No comment."

"ARGH!!! I'm going to eat you, selectors... just kidding."