A John Davison Story

I just got back from an interesting dinner in which I learnt something new about John Davison. And although I just called it an interesting dinner, it was actually shit boring because I was seated at the same table as a bunch of dickheads, all with highly inflated egos which can only come from a lifetime of boarding at a prestigious school and possibly being molested by priests because that is the way with these boys' schools, isn't it? Knox Grammar, I'm looking at you. Or was that teachers?

Innocent young boy prepares to morph into Mary Poppins.

Anyway, so while the 20-somethings discussed European politics, being highly trained in the art of being fuckwits, I found myself involved in a conversation with a woman next to me. And at a table nearby, there seemed to be a sporting discussion going on which, amongst other things, involved cricket. So blah blah, one thing led to another, and the woman ended up telling me a story of how a bloke named John Davison, who she now believes is a relatively famous cricketer of some sort, had once asked her out when she was in high school. Yes, indeed. It's that John Davison. I would like to say that she said yes, but in fact she didn't. As she told me, she was sort of different to the pack and in order to maintain her integrity (or something along those lines) she turned him down.

Why, you ask? Good question. Because he went to an "asshole-infested, sickeningly self-obsessed private school". Of course, she didn't say exactly that. I'm paraphrasing very loosely. But basically, he went to one of those schools, and as I look it up now, I see it is Saint Ignatius' College. The woman in question went to a different school, quite obviously, and she never did know whether this John guy wasn't half as bad as the other bastards that went to the school, but she said no anyway.

Apparently John Davison had a thing for redheads.

Ireland win the World Cup Qualifiers

Yes they do. I am pleased indeed, but also disappointed because Afghanistan didn't make it to the World Cup. No fear, they still have next time, and I'm certain the team will be even stronger contenders in years to come.

The 4 teams going to the 2011 World Cup: Ireland, Canada, Netherlands and Kenya, qualifying in that order. Those are some strong teams, maybe they'll beat Bangladesh.

I'm only joking, of course Ireland will beat Australia. It's the only possible outcome.

The man of the tournament was Netherlands' Edgar Schiferli. Interesting name.

Afghanistan came fifth, winning their last match against Scotland. It's not even a consolation prize, because considering the work they've put it in to get this far, every win is an important win.

UAE bowler reported in same vein as Botha

There seem to be a lot of suspect doosras going around these days. Fayyaz Ahmed of UAE has been reported for a suspect bowling action in their match against Canada on Wednesday.

An umpire has said

"Ahmed bowls with a suspect action which is accentuated when bowling the doosra".

Bad news.

The UAE cricket board has been told to assess his bowling action. Ahmed will still play against Scotland.

The midgets of cricket

Less significant than the giants, some of these teams don't even get counted as minnows. Who said I don't care about them? See this? This is me. Caring. At the moment, there are several interesting international cricket matches going on for the 2011 World Cup Qualifier:

Oman vs. Scotland - Scotland have set an imposing score of 273, with a KJ Coetzer scoring 127 of those runs. I picked out a random name from the Oman side, and he's who I'm pegging to save the match, if anyone: Sultan Ahmed.

Netherlands vs. United Arab Emirates - Netherlands are 259/9. ES Szwarczynski scored the highest at 56, before being caught by Naeemuddin Aslam off Fayyaz Ahmed. If UAE win, it will have been Khurram Khan who wins it for them.

Bermuda vs. Denmark - Absolutely shoddy performance by Denmark, getting all out for 157. Maybe they're depressed from the thought of paying 60% of their income in taxes. I know this stuff. Nobody did well enough in this team to deserve a mention, and Bermuda doesn't need a star player to win them this match. They should do it easily against a team like Denmark.

Afghanistan vs. Kenya - Kenya is world class. What brilliance, 282 from 50 overs, and only 5 wickets falling in this time. KO Otieno scored 109, A Obanda hit 60, and a few more worthy scores to round up their total. Afghanistan has no hope of winning this match, even with Asghar Stanikzai, who, in my mind, is capable of doing amazing things. Not that I'd know about Afghani cricket.

Canada vs. Namibia - "I am Canada, hear me roar in numbers too big to ignore," sings Helen Reddy. And she's right. You simply can't ignore the massive total of 319 that Canada have posted in their innings. Their opener JM Davison flew down from heaven to hit 131 runs, and IS Bilcliff complemented this with 61 more. A few other players have good performances too. Namibia gave away 15 wides though. How on earth is that even possible? 15 wides in an ODI? LP van der Westhuizen is not going to save their sorry asses.

And that is the report during the innings break. I do care about these teams.
...Seriously, I do.