Miss Bollywood's Cleavage

It was too good, I had to post it. If I'd been drinking something at the time that I read this, I'm sure I would have spit it out.

Apparently someone got here looking for:

miss bollywood ipl 2009 boobs

Since when have I blogged about that? And since when is this kind of information going to be available anyway? She hasn't signed the deal with Zoo Weekly yet, folks. In fact, "she" hasn't even been announced.

Miss Bollywood South Africa

What the fuck is this?

Literally. I do not get this. Not a single part of it. I am confounded. Confounded I am.

Lalit Modi has come up with an ingenius idea to pick a "Miss Bollywood of the Day" from the crowd, for each and every one of the 56 matches in the tournament. And I'm not just saying Modi came up with idea to refer to the IPL organisers as a whole - Lalit Modi really came up with this idea. According to Modi, apparently

"We're looking for someone who has the star quality to stand out in a crowd, probably without even trying that hard. It's that special, almost indefinable, quality that makes someone a star more than a beauty queen that we are looking for."

How the bloody hell do they expect to find this? Will she be radiating light, the sole angel in a full stadium? Seriously, what the fuck is this?

"IPL matches with their mix of fun and excitement are an excellent environment to identify the kind of person who is a natural stand-out in a big crowd."

WHAT IS THIS?

Time for Shah Rukh Khan to weigh in on Miss Bollywood South Africa as well:

"Star searches like this are a really great way to find people who may never even have thought that they have what it takes to really make it big. The heart of our idea is to search the crowd at IPL matches for someone who has the attitude and appearance that automatically draws the eye."

Oh, so they're looking for a pretty girl?

"It will be the kind of person who is not necessarily showing off for the camera, but who can mesmerise even total strangers."

How will these girls be mesmerising total strangers? I feel like I'm missing out on something here. Everyone involved keeps giving vague descriptions of the event, and they're making the criteria for Miss Bollywood appear to be something along the lines of: divine goddess, modest, preferably a model, halo above head. This is utter bullshit. That's what it is.

The "Miss Bollywood of the Day" will be presented during a "strategy break" (I'm guessing this is the last 2 and a half minutes of the tactical time-out) and will be in the running to win a trip to India, a role in a Bollywood film, and $5,590.

She is not Miss Bollywood anymore

I am still unsure of what exactly Miss Bollywood entails. But be sure I will be talking more of it when the big bad tournament begins. By the way, where is the Mr Bollywood?