The Final

It is so close I can practically tell which teams are going to be in it.

Oh wait, I actually can. Sorry, it's just the IPL hangover, it still hasn't gone away. A tournament in 16 days would be blasphemy to sponsors and the economic sensibilities of a man who cannot afford socks.

So, Pakistan vs. Sri Lanka. WHO WILL WIN? I don't mind either really, but I had made some half-baked comments that I'd be supporting Pakistan so why the hell not? But after the amazing performance the Lankans had against the Windies, wouldn't it also be some kind of injustice if they didn't walk away with the trophy?

Dilshan's 96 was mindblowing and I fell asleep sometme after Angelo Mathews' first over which was pretty fucking brilliant. Mind you, if I was capable of staying up longer I would have, but my body just gave way. Looks like not much went on after that in the way of a dramatic turnaround by the West Indies.

Saying Goodbye To The Mischief Gals

I'd actually forgotten about them, so it's sad I had to find this on cheerleader Rebecca Lee's blog:

I mean, seriously? Where is her integrity gone now? She fucked it all up, or what was left of it, in one final post.

One more reason to pretend the IPL never happened, apart from the shit ugly trophy and Lalit Modi's beautiful eyes.

What say? Money or loyalty?

Apparently I was wrong about that post earlier today regarding the Champions League. Weird, because Lalit Modi has decided the players who face a conflict between their IPL team and domestic team can actually choose which team they play for.

We already know the IPL franchise has to reimburse the team they're poaching a player off, but what does this new development mean? Would they have to be willing to offer a higher amount than usual?

"There is already a modus operandi laid down by all the members of the Champions League and which has been accepted by everybody. It is a player's choice to decide which team he is going to play for. The choice is left to the player not to the franchise."

Very strange. If I were a player, I'd probably end up going with my domestic team. Just imagine the praise and glory your countrymen would heap upon you. The public would love you for it, and so would the cricketing authority that governed your country's cricketing league. Why piss off a few important people and take a little extra money in the short term when you could find yourself reaching greater heights in the long term by playing for your country/state.

Dirk Nannes, of course, does not count in any of this. I'm sure he'd wholeheartedly play for Delhi if the time came to make a decision. Unless he feels an extraordinary amount of love for Victoria that we are otherwise unaware of.

The IPL is over

The Deccan Chargers have won.

You're now free to sleep as long as you like. I hope you understand how big a blessing this is.

Lalit Modi is planning two IPL tournaments a year. Could you handle it? There's no fucking way I could.

So the IPL is over and we go back to our normal routines. Except for the fact that there's a whole lot of cricket coming up real soon, so start gearing yourselves up for that.

In the meantime, a few suggestions as to what you could do with your time: Read a book, watch a movie, actually play cricket, write an in depth analysis of this year's IPL, walk the dog, kill the cat, call the Fake IPL Player a cowardly bastard with an attractive shadow, cure cancer, etc. The possibilities are endless.

So what are you doing sitting there thinking about the final? Go do something.

A Tough Question

Can I be arsed watching the rest of the IPL? I've already dwindled down on the matches I catch, and that's usually only because the first one is shown at a time when I don't mind watching it.

But if the IPL were 20 days shorter, I wouldn't be feeling bored right now. Around the same time Lalit Modi is declaring this year's IPL a wonderful success, legions of cricket fans are turned off it completely.

I will watch the finals, because that's the only part of it that counts. And I will watch tonight's match between Chennai and Mumbai. Guess who'll win? Hopefully not the latter. And hopefully - I don't know how many times I'm going to say this before it comes true - Albie will hit the fucking ball and get a decent score.

Raina's ill form in the past few matches has caused him to slip down the leading run scorer's table. He is now 4th, behind Hayden, Gilly, and oh fuck... AB. But only by 4 runs. When did AB get back in the game anyway? There's a margin of almost 160 runs between 1st and 2nd. Hilarious.

The Best Lalit Modi Interview. Ever.

Don't believe me? Well alright, don't.

For everyone else there's this.

I LIKE WOMEN. IS NICE.

Jesse's Diary

The comments by Jesse's manager Aaron Klee:

"Let's be fair to Jesse - this is not a big issue. Jesse rang me and explained what happened several nights ago. He is disappointed that he drank after being off all alcohol for over 100 days."

And by his mentor Murray Deaker:

"Jesse's had over a hundred days of sobriety and has made enormous progress during that time, on and off the field."

Let the diary begin.

Day 1: Dear diary. Fuck.
Day 2: Didn't mean what I said yesterday. Going to stop drinking to save career.
Day 3: No drink today.
Day 4: Still no drink today.
Day 5: Tempted to drink to get beer goggles back. Can't.
Day 6: Zero drinks. Lots of Coke zero.
Day 7: Still no drink.
Day 8: Might be going to IPL.
Day 9: Going to play for Royal Challengers. Wonder what that means.
Day 10: Talked to owner of team. Fuck.
Day 11: Going good. No drink.
Day 12: Crossed off another box on calendar. No drink.
Day 13: Off to IPL. Won't drink on plane.
Day 14: Told air hostess to fuck off when she offered a drink.
Day 15: Need drink.
Day 16: Need drink.
Day 17: Drink. Fuck. Need.
Day 18: Told to focus on positives of staying sober.
Day 19:
Day 20:
Day 21:
Day 22:
Day 23: Positive of being sober: not smashing Dan's glasses everytime we go out.
Day 24: Kicked Lalit Modi in the nuts when he made a joke about putting your hand through glass.
Day 25: No drink for 25 days. No hot chicks either. Wonder where they went.
Day 26: Still no drink.
Day 50: Fucking diary.
Day 75: Made new friend from loser team. Likes to drink.
Day 85: Looked at wedding vows again. Once told my beer I'd never "touch her inappropriately again". Have to stick by promise in sickness and health.
Day 90: No drink. Lots of boxes crossed off on calendar.
Day 95: Mallya came round after win. With drinks.
Day 96: Taking blindfold with me everywhere.
Day 97: Crazy Morne poured a beer on my face. Tasted a drop. Not my fault.
Day 98: Trying not to remember that drop of beer.
Day 99:
Day 100:
Day 101: Hacking at legs with machete. Fucking legs couldn't get me out of there.
Day 102: All over news. I drank.
Day 103: Seeing God again. Must be a good sign.
Day 104: On the bright side, all the women are prettier now.

What are you talking about? Of course those dates match up. Of course they do.

Indian Government Swears Off SMS

Betting and gambling are already illegal, why not SMS games? I've never seen a government which fits the definition of 'prude' better than these fellows do, barring a few extreme exceptions.

India's Sports Minister Manohar Singh Gill is a far cry from our own. Kate Ellis bets all over the place, including making bets with the Brits involving one in which she said she'd wear their team colours and cheer their team on if Australia lost to Great Britain on the Olympics medal tally. Bitch. We lost that one, but at least we're not claiming New Zealand as a part of our country when we feel like it and then cracking jokes about them the next. The whole notion of "Great Britain" in the Olympics is laughable.

Oh, what was I saying? Gambling and betting.

“I am concerned about the latest venture of encouraging viewers to make ball-by-ball predictions of runs scored for economic gain in the shape of cash prizes.

“This is viewed as encouraging gambling and betting, to which official bodies do not resort, even in countries where betting is legal — all this to make money and enlarge the TV viewership base.”

Yeah, I laughed. But what is perhaps better is that at the launch of the SMS contest, the texting god Shane Warne himself spoke on how great this new game was. If I were him, I'd be constantly suspicious that these people were just shitting me. Everyone time anyone mentioned texting, I'd glare at them suspiciously to see if they were cracking a joke about me.

But not Warnie. He's as tough as nails. You'd have to be if you were to fuck it up with your wife a second time by accidently sending her a text meant for someone else. It's almost too good to be true.

If you're interested, Lalit Modi had the best possible Lalitastic response to the complaints made by the Sports Minister:

“It’s a valid point. But the margin of something like that [a correct prediction] happening is one in a million."

Basically "guys, nobody's going to win anyway, this is just me fucking with their money. HAHAHAHA."

Rehab

The very clever individual who repeatedly called me Amy Winehouse (Amy - geddit? LOL) has had their wishes come true, but in a very indirect way.

Lalit Modi, Sunil Gavaskar and Ravi Shastri, along with some buddies back in India, have come to the decision that Kamran Khan should undergo 2 weeks of rehabilitation. When Kamran first heard the news, he was excited. Finally, a chance to spend 2 whole weeks alone with Herschelle Gibbs! This wasn't a punishment, it was a blessing.

But then someone told him it wasn't that kind of rehab and he broke down into tears.

Yeah, that's me. How did you guess?

Lalit the Leech

You'd think the DLF IPL group would be content with making demands and leeching off South Africans for everything from grounds to stands to suites. But no, they have one more step to go. Apparently during the CSK vs. DD match at the Wanderers yesterday, the IPL insisted on charging the drinks provider a pouring charge of $40,000.

So in order to continue selling alcohol at the ground as they have done for years now, Events Management was required to cough up $40k and then go about selling beers.

If I had freeloading guests like this making demands in my house I'd kick them onto the street and let Lalit Modi be murdered by Jo'burg's rather unseemly people.

The IPL threatened to ban the sale of alcohol at the Wanderers if the pouring fee wasn't paid. In response, some senior Gauteng cricket board executives didn't attend the game in protest, and rightly so. However, I highly doubt this will change the IPL's collectively evil mind.

According to SA Breweries, they make R6 profit per beer, and in order to cover the cost of the $40k pouring fee, they'd have to sell 56,134 beers in the 8 matches.

Logic tells me that if another country was kind enough to open its doors to you for a last minute change in a major sporting tournament, you wouldn't fuck with their businesses and attempt to assert your authority and control over everything.

But of course, the IPL doesn't even know what logic is.

Chennai can win, Deccan can lose

Were you having the time of your life, Patrick Swayze-style? I certainly was.

First off, the DD vs. DC match. Aside from Ravi Shastri's hilarious "Get ready to ROCK Pretoria" to set us off, it was a bit of a boring affair after Gilly and Gibbs left the scene early on. Ryan Campbell leering at Deccan cheerleaders only put me off further.

Not to mention the constant music being blasted over the loudspeakers after every boundary or wicket: "Go, go, go, go, go." We've already heard it for many matches. How many more times are we going to be forced to endure this?

Everytime the commentators say "That was a really good stop" you don't even need to look to know it's AB. Fuck. Thank god he got out for 5. That was funny. I laughed.

Funny Moments of the Match:

Something I have noticed but not really commented on is that Ashish Nehra runs up like a penguin on crack.

Rohit Sharma flailing around on the ground like a dying turtle.

Dirk Nannes looking like he'll take out his axe any minute now.

The fact that Anthony Hudson is apparently a legspinner. What a joke.

Danny Morrison being irritating as fuck.

Sehwag's stitches.

Dwayne Smith going shit crazy and hitting Dan the Man for 16 off his over, then making Amit Mishra go for 20 the next over.

Mark Nicholas thinking Dirk has "attitude" about him, and that "There's a lot of words I could think of [to describe him] which could not be broadcast."

Lalit Modi sitting like a king on his throne.

Chennai vs. Rajasthan match:

YOU KNOW IT. Go Albie, strike rate of 400. I can twist facts my way too.

Raina was the man of the night. Even if I felt sorry for his 98 which the big screen showed as 100, it was a little funny. I mean that is pretty fucking funny if you think about it. Raina celebrates his 100, and is out next ball. He came back later and picked up a few wickets, taking some great catches too. That really shut Ryan Campbell up.

And who was actually bowling well today? Hint: Starts with 'A' and ends with 'lbie'.

With the new guy being hit for a few in the first over, Albie came in second over and worked some magic. Graeme Smith is hilarious. I enjoyed watching him get out to Albie. How often do you see that normally? NEVER.

Then there was Swapnil Asnodkar, the little man who's finding these South African pitches difficult to deal with. What a way to go, hitting your stumps like that. Almost the funniest moment of the match. The real funniest moment was Warnie slamming the ground in frustration when he couldn't get any balls away later in the innings.

And did the commentators really say Dhoni was going to have a bowl? I'm sure I wasn't imagining that.

But the most annoying moment of the match was most certainly the referral of the Jadeja catch. Fuck, that pissed me off. Where is the Brian Lara spirit? YOU WALK OFF WHEN THE FIELDER SAYS THEY CAUGHT YOU. The end. You don't hang around and insist on a referral which then shrinks the 3rd umpire's balls and has him give a 'Not Out' decision. That was rubbish. Parthiv clearly had his hand under it but the freeze frame which shows less dimension than live replay apparently gave the 3rd umpire a reason to doubt the catch. It was taken, pure and simple.

Whatever. Chennai won and now they can keep winning. They just need to win most of the matches that remain to make it to the semifinals. Can they do it? Albie looked in form. One of the commentators said he should open the batting, and I think Leela commented on this too. But my god, that would be a brilliant idea. Hello powerplay. Hello Albie. And hello the chance to come in without a shitload of pressure on your head dragging you down like it did Yusuf Pathan.

HIT WICKET.

KP cited for dissent

I guess this is why Bangalore's Fly Kingfisher Fair Play Award points were looking so odd after that match with Chennai.

KP was cited for dissent for having a few words about the lbw decision he was given in the match. He faced a disciplinary committee for the incident and was eventually deemed to have had a level one breach of the IPL's code of conduct.

Pietersen said after the match:

“I think I got a little nick on it, but such is life.”

I find that inexplicably hilarious. And sort of awesome. He came out of it looking like the reasonable player.

However, Lalit Modi is flexing his Supreme Powers and has warned all players

“We will take all necessary steps to ensure that the game is played in the true spirit of cricket."

That sounds like Kumble, only stupider. He also had this to say about cricketers in general:

“Cricketers need to realise that they are huge role models for an entire generation of youth."

I don't know about anyone else, but the one thing that frightens me more than little KPs running around is children having Lalit Modi as a role model.

"Hee hee, my trophy."

Why Albie Morkel Didn't Play: The Real Truth

If you'll cast your mind back a few days, you'll remember that Morne Morkel's equipment and shoes mysteriously went missing from his hotel lobby, apparently put on the Deccan Chargers' bus for Cape Town. And you know who did it.

Well, Morne had his revenge, because the morning of Albie's flight from Jo'burg to Cape Town, a similar thing happened to Albie, only Morne went to greater lengths to do it.

On his blog, VB Chandrasekar spoke of the truth behind Albie sitting out:

A last minute change to the side was to prove costly for us as Albie landed here sans his gear as the airline had lost it in transit from Jo’burg where he had played the last ODI game against the touring Aussies.

Albie was very disappointed and stressed at the sad turn of events. We missed him for his all-round skills, although Thushara did bowl well in his opening spell.

Lost in transit, hey? Very disappointed and stressed?

I wonder if this was what Lalit Modi was so earnestly speaking to Albie about during that match.

At least Albie can take comfort in knowing the team would have desperately wanted him playing that day.

"Bet they would have wanted me doing THIS."

On Shuk Rah Khan & IPL Opening Matches

What a terrifically boring match between Chennai and Mumbai. It had all the essentials of T20 cricket: few sixes (or DLF Maximums, I should say), lots of singles, ordinary bowling, and best of all, a lethargic crowd. The biggest cheer was for Duminy, but apart from that, it hardly felt INCREDIBLY ENTHUSIASTIC. It's not India, so it's the best we could expect.

More important news:

WTF WHERE IS ALBIE?
Okay, I won't say it doesn't make sense to have Albie rested for this one match and new internationals brought in. After all, he did only play an ODI the night before, and Chennai had plenty to draw on. But I was surprised. I was actually expecting to see him in the line-up. No fear, because later on, we were treated to a scary sight of Lalit Modi spending perhaps half an hour on the grass next to Albie's chair, talking to him. What was this about? I was entirely confounded as to what they could be talking about. I asked my viewing friend, however, and they suggested that Modi was asking Albie about South Africa. That made a lot of sense, actually. Of course Modi would want to find out from a local where the best strip club in the district was.

One HD's coverage and "Shuk Rah Khan"
Forget the Chennai vs. Mumbai match, this was the real torture of the night for Australian viewers. We were treated to a particularly mindnumbing pair hosting the coverage of the IPL, Anthony Hudson and Ryan Campbell. What an AFL commentator is doing covering the IPL two years in a row now is beyond me. Then there's Ryan Campbell. Retired WA cricketer, need I say more? Okay, I will. He's an idiot.

We were constantly cut away from the live coverage of the IPL to listen to Hudson and Campbell banter on for a bit about the game, and at times, try their hand at commentating. Hudson repeatedly turned to Campbell for seemingly expert advice. When Ryan Campbell is giving you expert advice, you know something's wrong. He came out with comments such as "Something in my waters is saying Mumbai will win." and even said that he'd be backing Kolkata Knight Riders this year because he just "loves their owner, Shuk Rah Khan." Now, I'm no Bollywood buff, but even I can tell you that is clearly incorrect. I also find it hard to believe Campbell could just "love this guy" when he doesn't even know his name. Worse still, every time Campbell said "Shuk Rah Khan", Anthony Hudson seemed to make a face, but I'm baffled as to why Ryan Campbell has now gone two years saying Shuk Rah Khan on live television repeatedly, and no one has thought to correct him. When he does find out, it'll be embarrassing beyond belief.

In addition to this, the expert Ryan Campbell seems to think "tactical time-outs" have been put in place because teams have slow over rates, and that the intention of the time-out is to "stop the game and have a chat" with the players about slow over rates. WTF? Incompetent idiot. Apart from the fact there is no logic behind this whatsoever, it's disgusting that we're expected to take him seriously. I'd sooner take AB de Villiers and his faith in God seriously.

When you'd desperately rather listen to the awkward commentating pair of Mark Nicholas and Ravi Shastri, you know something's wrong.

Dog of the Match
A true star. Our Lassie of of the night deserved the Man of the Match award. I've never seen more athleticism before. A 10 or so minute break involved the players following the dog around the field, and dozens of security officials flooding the field. At one stage, Jacob Oram thought he had it, but the dog just wheeled around and trotted back towards the middle. Manpreet Gony tried tempting the dog with a cricket ball, but apparently it's been brought up on gourmet dog food its entire life, so cricket balls won't do. That's when a woman had the sense to bring a sandwich onto the field. Tough luck, because Doggie was going nowhere. The only dives on that field during that match were to catch dogs, not balls. Even extra players from both teams wandered back onto the field to observe the spectacle.

Jrod has a video of the dog up, but I found a longer one up on YouTube which goes through a lot of the dog's tenure as a cricket player:



Lovely.

Citi Moments of Success
I almost understand DLF Maximums, but rechristening every single "moment of success" as a Citi Moment of Success is becoming grating. I'm sick of it. The commentators don't even seem to know what exactly qualifies for being a Citi Moment of Success. "Is that a Citi Moment of Success... Yes, I think so... Perhaps not."

Bangalore vs. Rajasthan
The more interesting match of the night. Rather inexplicably, I found myself going for Bangalore, somewhere in the middle of their disastrous first over. When Jesse Ryder waddled off the field (okay, I made a fat joke. So sue me) and Ross Taylor moved across his stumped, both wickets being accredited to Dimitri Mascarenhas, things were looking pretty shit for the Royal Challengers.

KP came out a lot sooner than he'd probably expected, and was gifted with a massive boo from the crowd. Perhaps any other player and they'd have let this get to them a little, but not KP. With a calm "Fuck you" attitude, he took to the ball and confidently hit 32 off 30 balls. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I want to see more of KP, especially if he does everything in his power to piss off the crowds. Oh the entertainment.

Then came Dravid. There's a reason everyone should still love this guy. Top act, classy performance, literally saved the match for Bangalore with his 66 off 48 balls at a strike rate of 137. Yeah, that's right. 137. Who said he wasn't suited to this form of the game? Dravid even had a little "fuck you" moment when he pointed to the dressing rooms following his half century. You know, I'm still not convinced he's a top T20 performer, but Dravid is the most effortless hitter of the ball. He deserved his MoM for taking his team from disaster to success. The Bangalore bowlers did a lot later on too.

Warnie. You know it, this guy's still ripping up the best balls in matches. Goddamn, some of his deliveries tonight were beautiful, and he shook off the rust of not having played for a year or so and took 2 wickets for 18. He was hit for one six. Really good stuff from Warne, the flight on his deliveries was amazing at times.

Bangalore's bowlers were brilliant. They'd set a target of 134, and they restricted extremely well early on. At one stage, half of Rajasthan's runs were derived from extras. Dale Steyn gave away a million wides, but he hadn't had the best preparation for the game following the ODI the previous night, so all is forgiven. Praveen Kumar was also a standout, picking up Graeme Smith and Asnodkar's wickets when it mattered most.

By the time Kumble came around, I was delirious, I won't reveal from what. So when he took those 5 wickets for 5, I wasn't sure whether I was imagining it. When I did hop off to sleep, I still didn't quite believe the 58 all out. A quick check this morning and yes, RR had collapsed for that much. Hilarious.

I did check on KP's hugging in the match. He does seem quite eager to get touchy-feely with the other players. First he comes in for the kill, a hug or a pat on the back. Then he backs away for a moment and eyes the player up a little, before eventually coming back in for another hug. So there you go.

Miss Bollywood South Africa

What the fuck is this?

Literally. I do not get this. Not a single part of it. I am confounded. Confounded I am.

Lalit Modi has come up with an ingenius idea to pick a "Miss Bollywood of the Day" from the crowd, for each and every one of the 56 matches in the tournament. And I'm not just saying Modi came up with idea to refer to the IPL organisers as a whole - Lalit Modi really came up with this idea. According to Modi, apparently

"We're looking for someone who has the star quality to stand out in a crowd, probably without even trying that hard. It's that special, almost indefinable, quality that makes someone a star more than a beauty queen that we are looking for."

How the bloody hell do they expect to find this? Will she be radiating light, the sole angel in a full stadium? Seriously, what the fuck is this?

"IPL matches with their mix of fun and excitement are an excellent environment to identify the kind of person who is a natural stand-out in a big crowd."

WHAT IS THIS?

Time for Shah Rukh Khan to weigh in on Miss Bollywood South Africa as well:

"Star searches like this are a really great way to find people who may never even have thought that they have what it takes to really make it big. The heart of our idea is to search the crowd at IPL matches for someone who has the attitude and appearance that automatically draws the eye."

Oh, so they're looking for a pretty girl?

"It will be the kind of person who is not necessarily showing off for the camera, but who can mesmerise even total strangers."

How will these girls be mesmerising total strangers? I feel like I'm missing out on something here. Everyone involved keeps giving vague descriptions of the event, and they're making the criteria for Miss Bollywood appear to be something along the lines of: divine goddess, modest, preferably a model, halo above head. This is utter bullshit. That's what it is.

The "Miss Bollywood of the Day" will be presented during a "strategy break" (I'm guessing this is the last 2 and a half minutes of the tactical time-out) and will be in the running to win a trip to India, a role in a Bollywood film, and $5,590.

She is not Miss Bollywood anymore

I am still unsure of what exactly Miss Bollywood entails. But be sure I will be talking more of it when the big bad tournament begins. By the way, where is the Mr Bollywood?

Modi's head blows up further

It was always going to happen. He was going to start talking about his own amazingness and how his tournament not just better than every other cricketing tournament, but that his organisational skills are better than those of other sporting bodies:

"Fifa has been working here for 8 years, we have been here for 22 days. I hope they learn from us. We will have a carnival that we will talk about and remember."

"People look at me and think 'He is singlehandedly better than Fifa'. I try not to let it get to my head."

WTF of the week: Pakistan out of IPL

Some bullshit bureaucracy is at work here. That, and some plain idiocy. Webster defines 'idiocy' as 'extreme mental retardation'. I couldn't agree more.

After the Pakistani players were banned from travelling to India in the wake of the Mumbai terrorist attacks, the IPL terminated their contracts in February this year after the required period of acquiring the No Objection Certificate from Pakistan's cricket board expired.

Here's the kicker: Apparently the Pak players weren't even told their contracts had been terminated. They received no official notification from the IPL franchises, despite being entirely willing to sort out the matter. Salman Ahmed has said:

"We are even willing to travel to South Africa and sort out this matter with the IPL franchises."

The Pakistan players still want to be involved in the IPL, and why wouldn't they? But they received no written notice that their contracts had been terminated.

"It is in their contracts that a notice will be served before any such termination or suspension, but in this case nothing as such is indicated with any of the players."

Now that the IPL has been relocated to South Africa, there's nothing preventing the players from participating in it once more. Except for the fact they're no longer contracted by any IPL franchises.

Lalit Modi has told the Pakistani players that it is not possible to include them in this year's IPL because the franchises have already secured replacement players in February. But the IPL is going to attempt to liaise with the franchises to resolve this problem, Ahmed has been told.

And it should be, because if these players don't play, the IPL is going to be missing out on valuable contributions from players such as Salman Butt, Shoaib Akhtar, Umar Gul and Sohail Tanvir.

AP: 1, Lalit Modi: 0

This is epic. Lalit Modi's inflated head which has long been dangling around on a rope has been hit and popped by the Associated Press. The Modi Pinata spilt out nothing more than a "We are pleased to have reached this agreement with the global news media industry." but that is more than enough for me.

After refusing to allow the AP to supply news and photos about the IPL to any cricketing websites due to the IPL already having had struck a deal with ONE website to exclusive news and photo rights, Modi has finally backed down. All it took was the Associated Press deciding they're rather not have anything to do with the IPL after all for Modi to relent.

Hey Modi, notice how you're a prick?

Lalit Modi has done it again. Because obviously his tournament is the goldmine in a field of dirt. Because obviously everything should go his way and you better watch out if you try to mess with him. Because obviously he's a demigod who should be worshipped.

Because obviously the media should bent over backwards for him. This year's IPL won't be covered by the Associated Press because of over-the-top restrictions placed on media concerning the event. Reuters and the News Media Coalition have all tried without success to convince the IPL's organisers (read: Modi) to reverse their decision.

Lalit Modi refused to change conditions, including one which specifies that media groups cannot supply news and photos about IPL events to websites that specialise in cricket. Is this a joke? Because it feels like one. Modi has gone the lucrative path and decided to exclusively supply news and photos about the IPL to one website.

That's all news and photos.

Thankfully, the AP isn't going to put up with this and they're just not going to cover the event at all. Suck on that Modi, seems to be the general consensus. The AP's associate general counsel, Dave Tomlin, said:

"We can't allow the sponsor of a newsworthy event to specify where news gets distributed. This is a case in which a sports association is now in the information business too and is trying to carve out an exclusive segment of the news market as its own to exploit. It's wrong."

Damn right it is. The AP's international sports editor had an even more pertinent point to make:

"The IPL is shooting itself in the foot. The tournament is in its infancy and needs media coverage, especially when it is being held far from its home base. The AP wants to cover the tournament and supply subscribers with comprehensive match reports and photos, but has been forced out by the IPL's inflexible stance."

Why would you be pigheaded enough to practically fight away the media outlets interested in what you're doing? I hope this does turn out to be Modi shooting himself, and his precious IPL, in the foot.

"I'm amazing, amazing, amazing, amazing..."

South Africa & IPL - The Real Truth

It wasn't because of the weather.