While the complete destruction of Bangalore has taken place by the RR bowling attack, I was almost hoping BRC would win. Why, you ask? Because of Dravid, I answer. If you're going to leave your newborn kid at home and trot off to another country to play for a drunken tycoon (okay, for cash too) you'd think a little winning would be the perfect way to start things. But no, he's out for a duck.
Then it's up to Boucher, ROFL or Mr. Smooth to step up. The first fails, but ROFL hit a boundary off Morne (HAHAHA, watch Albie bowl better later tonight) and then gritted his teeth together and made weird facial expressions as he excitedly looked for another gap in which to hit the ball to.
The variations of how all the player's say Morne's name is hilarious. But even better is the commentators talking about him after he took the Kohli catch or some other batsman:
"Speak of the devil."
Now if you were a rational person, that would make sense. But if you're A GOD-FEARING, JESUS-LOVING GOOD HOLY CHRISTIAN then the moment you hear that sentence your life is changed forever. Out come the crucifixes and holy water. Out comes AB's favourite book.
Really, if I were going to pick a devil in the Rajasthan team, I'd say Munaf Patel. Occasionally, you see flashes of his alter ego poking through and his eyes are replaced by fiery balls of hell. It is quite hard to pick up if you're not trained in the art of identifying devils like I am.
I'm also a ninja in my spare time, but I have dabbled in Ghostbusting.
Showing posts with label Rahul Dravid. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Rahul Dravid. Show all posts
Thursday, 7 May 2009
Tuesday, 28 April 2009
No Captaincy For Jacques
It's all a downward spiral for Jacques' IPL hopes. Now Ray Jennings is saying the captaincy is still being decided upon, even though they had pretty much made it clear he would be captain after KP left.
What did it? The pathetic bowling or the equally-as-bad batting? I am very interested. What tipped Bangalore over the edge? The 4 straight losses might have had something to do with it. And the fact that Jacques is just a fat fuck who doesn't even deserve the title of "Best All-Rounder in the World" but who still has it heaped on him regularly.
Or maybe they were truly terrified by the thought of captaining by consensus. Imagine that. No Dravid, no KP, just Jacques and a whole bunch of young Indian players, plus a Dale Steyn, Ross Taylor, Anil Kumble and maybe a Jesse Ryder. Sounds like a great decision-making committee. So many Kiwis they'd probably fuck it all up. But Kumble is the one good thing about that. I'm sure they could trust him, even if he's say the Deccan Chargers hadn't played in the spirit of the game because they WON, DAMMIT. Alright, that's a low dig. But I don't care.
Then again, who else does Bangalore have now? Nobody, that's what. They're fucked, and I'm not saying that lightly. They are well and truly fucked, and nobody's going to save their asses after KP hops on his private jet for England and slides down giant mountains of cash in his new mansion with glee.
Ray Jennings isn't even sure if he wants to play Jacques. That's desperate. If I were Ray Jennings, I'd play Jacques just to have a laugh, and then put all my money on the other team winning. That isn't how it works, unfortunately.
After that, they'd have to bring in Boucher, just to be a second senior player in the team and to make sure Jesse doesn't flip and Hulk everyone to bits. Jennings has said that if Jacques does play then of course he, wait for it... might be captain. So the only way for him to not possibly captain is if he doesn't play. And it seems as though Jennings is seriously considering that possibility.
Hallelujah. And not the sad one, the happy one.
"UNFLAPPABLE, TIRELESSLY SPENDS HOURS AT THE CREASE, ARGUABLY THE MOST PRIZED TEST WICKET AFTER RICKY PONTING, SIMILAR TO DON BRADMAN."
Saturday, 25 April 2009
Dravid can't do everything
48/3
Dravid walks out, but he's gone a short while later.
Kallis somehow gets 62 off 46 balls.
Ravi Bopara does the job for Punjab with his 84 off 59 balls.
And Irfan Pathan was good with the ball, wasn't he? Two wickets in the last over counts for something.
And KP gives another shit performance.
Dravid walks out, but he's gone a short while later.
Kallis somehow gets 62 off 46 balls.
Ravi Bopara does the job for Punjab with his 84 off 59 balls.
And Irfan Pathan was good with the ball, wasn't he? Two wickets in the last over counts for something.
And KP gives another shit performance.
Thursday, 23 April 2009
Boy, he sure is cute!
"But the Mischief Gals sure did get the crowd into a frenzy. Can't wait to get on the ground again today evening for our next match and watch Rahul Dravid. Boy, he sure is cute!"
From the lips of a White Mischief Gal herself, Rebecca Lee. I came across the diary of this BRC cheerleader thanks to Ducking Beamers, and well... okay, I can't really say anything. It's all a little too weird.
I still don't understand this concept of winning by runs or wickets.
It's not all that different in other sports, really. Winning by runs is essentially equivalent to winning by home runs, and instead of getting 3 chances to do it, you get 10 in cricket. Not much to this "concept" at all.
I'm just surprised Cricinfo is getting one of the Mischief Gals to blog at theirs a bit. You think you're on the outside, but no, now you can see into the minds of these Mischief Gals. It's all very stereotypically American cheerleader. Not that I was expecting something different.
The woman in the front is not 40.
Mighty losses
So Australia lost.
And Bangalore lost.
I won't mention anything about that first loss, but Gilly was absolutely smoking out there. So was Rohit Sharma, of course, but Gilchrist was amazing. We'll be seeing a lot more of this in the matches to come.
Jesse was out for a duck. Something is seriously wrong with him. KP was out on 11, but he took 2 wickets so he's probably secretly pleased with himself. But not as pleased as Dravid who's showing he's the real rock of the team. He made 48, and Kohli made a half century to save face for Bangalore.
And Bangalore lost.
I won't mention anything about that first loss, but Gilly was absolutely smoking out there. So was Rohit Sharma, of course, but Gilchrist was amazing. We'll be seeing a lot more of this in the matches to come.
Jesse was out for a duck. Something is seriously wrong with him. KP was out on 11, but he took 2 wickets so he's probably secretly pleased with himself. But not as pleased as Dravid who's showing he's the real rock of the team. He made 48, and Kohli made a half century to save face for Bangalore.
Tuesday, 21 April 2009
Tit for tat, fit for fat - CSK vs. Bangalore
What an interesting match for all of 10 overs. To be fair, it wasn't anywhere near as boring as the opening match, and in comparison, it was like the diamond standard of cricket. From the start, fellas:
The entire Bangalore team turns up to the toss to present the orange and purple caps for Most Runs in Competition and Most Wickets in Competition respectively. It's Dravid and Kumble, but as we find out later, Haydos must wrestle the orange cap off Dravid during the innings break, because he's sporting it later.
KP is nice enough to say 'The great Jacques Kallis is back." What rubbish. If you haven't already guessed this is what the title of this post is referring to: tit for tat, fit for fat. Because Jesse Ryder is actually fit.
Hayden put down first ball, goes on to make 60 odd. He's also dropped in the 10th over, but it's a far more difficult catch and out of everyone's range. Still, KP is murderously angry and he mutters a few things to himself, before putting on his "pleased captain" face and clapping encouragingly at the other players. At least the guy is trying.
Dale Steyn looked to be on ampethamines as usual. The trademark manic facial expression, frenzied walking, twitching, making weird faces at batsmen. The shortened prison inmate haircut.
Kallis is fittingly hit all around the ground, and goes for 20 in his first over. Hayden does most of the damage. Good man. Although, I have to say, Jacques Kallis was looking good out there, like sexy good. Haha, okay, I won't even joke about something as disturbing as that. My bad. Apologies.
Matty Hayden brings up his 3rd IPL 50, getting 53 off 22 deliveries. That's the fastest half-century for any CSK player ever.
The commentators have chats to Stephen Fleming and other players, asking them about the time out. It's hilarious to hear everyone dodging the truth and lying through their teeth about it. It has never been easier to hear the underlying thoughts behind someone's words before. They all think it's shit, but aren't at liberty to disclose this opinion. Frankly, it's a load of bullshit. I can deal with ads thrown in between overs, after wickets, after no balls even, because it's only disrupting my viewing of the game. But when advertising starts to intrude on the game itself, that's crossing the line.
We saw it again today with Chennai losing their momentum during the tactical time-out. I believe it was Tom Moody who said after Punjab's loss the other night that "We had seven and a half minutes to lose the momentum". That's the best anyone has ever put it. I'm going to burn an effigy of Lalit Modi because he's the figurehead of the IPL and therefore responsible for this outrage.
How good were the CSK cheerleaders? Not good, exactly, but more interesting than the others. They pwned the White Mischief Gals out there with their new moves. You could see them chatting away with each other trying to come up with some Bollywood-esque moves to match the music. Chennai Super Kings also had a drummer, who was there when Murali was presented with the MoM award.
After the time-out, Kevvy comes in and two wickets are gone in the next two balls. Bowled Parthiv Patel and Haydos run out next ball because of Suresh Raina. I wonder if KP will continue bowling to batsmen who aren't ready. Just a thought.
Cut to Ray Rennings who believes Bangalore can "confidently chase 180 or 190." My ass.
Dale Steyn drops Suresh Raina in an absolute sitter. He was actually doing a favour for his own team, because Raina continued to occupy the crease at a very ODI 28 off 29 balls. What the fuck does he think he's playing? Ryan Campbell went on and on about this during the ad breaks, as though he was the only person who didn't prefer Raina to perhaps Flintoff or Morkel. I do agree with it, but fuck, I'd love for Campbell to shut his trap.
Thank fuck Raina is out at the end of the 19th over, allowing Albie onto the field alongside Freddie. Albie hits the first ball for 4, great shot, and the next one is a definite 4 but it's saved by Robin Uthappa who is keeping. Dale Steyn is given a totally ridiculous wide call which pisses him off a little, and rightly so. But he has his revenge and bowls Albie on the last ball. 5 off 3. Imagine what he could have done with 29 balls. Fucking Raina.
179/5 after 20 overs. The highest T20 score ever at Sahara Park in Port Elizabeth.
Then Bangalore are on and there's the usual shindig of the entire team collapsing, save for the Wall.
Balaji feeds Jacques Kallis a couple of half volleys, which Kallis easily sends away for 4. What the fuck is wrong with Kallis? His strike rate is over 100.
Albie's on, and he pretends to appeal, even managing to conjure up fake indignation when the umpire calls wide. Good times. In his next over, he gets Jacques Kallis out lbw. Great. Someone needed to get the fat prick out. Kallis leaves with 24 off 19 balls, a miracle by his standards.
As with every match, there's a stupid glory shot of the IPL trophy. I bet nobody saw Lalit Modi humping it earlier on.
Then KP's out lbw off Murali. He's pissed. He thinks he got bat on it. Simon Taufel thinks not. It's okay, because KP will have his revenge later on, during the tactical time-out. KP tells Virat Kohli to hit the ball directly at Simon Taufel first ball of the 11th over. Kohli obliges his angry captain. Taufel is none the wiser as to who ordered the attack on him.
Dravid tries to put up a stand but runs out of partners and is eventually caught by Flintoff. Bangalore are bowled out for 87, losing by 92 runs. Shameful.
Presentation ceremony, KP calls Hayden a "genius". Wow.
Dhoni thinks "we definitely need to improve on our bowling". I'm not too sure about the "definitely". That's an odd thing to say after your bowlers have been brilliant.
Murali is MoM for his 3 wickets for 11. Okay, that's good. He thinks Haydos should have gotten it.
Hayden walks away with the orange cap he claimed off Dravid.
KP Watch:
Looking out for KP's hugging, I saw him hugging bowlers with one arm as he spoke to them. That's all for the night, however. He was tense the rest of the time.
I'm going to fess up here and say that I want KP to do well in this tournament. I don't know why, but I'm backing him as well now. So there you go. I never thought this day would come.
Ryan Campbell's expert advice of the night:
"He perhaps had a very good set of manboobies last year." -On Robin Uthappa, and yes, "manboobies"
Giving fashion advice to Dravid, outing his "light blue undershirt beneath red uniform" as a fashion no-no. This was a joint Wingard and Campbell discussion. They also gave a bad fashion rating to the purple and orange coloured caps.
"The doosra - the one that goes the other way - was fantastic."
Thanks for that explanation, Einstein.
"I got caught up in the glitz and glamour of Shuk Rah Khan."
Campbell thinks that Chennai should conspire during the tactical time-out to "run out Patel".
Ryan Campbell is "not too convinced with Patel, especially when they have Morkel and Flintoff down the order."
Now, I know Ryan rates Albie as one of his top 3 T20 batsmen, and is strangely enthusiastic about seeing him on the field, WHAT THE FUCK? Why the hell would you send Albie or Freddie in to open the batting? Christ.
Ad of the day:
Lazypatch duvet suit - walking around with a bodysuit which is essentially one giant blanket. Only you can't escape it because it's also a bodysuit.
The entire Bangalore team turns up to the toss to present the orange and purple caps for Most Runs in Competition and Most Wickets in Competition respectively. It's Dravid and Kumble, but as we find out later, Haydos must wrestle the orange cap off Dravid during the innings break, because he's sporting it later.
KP is nice enough to say 'The great Jacques Kallis is back." What rubbish. If you haven't already guessed this is what the title of this post is referring to: tit for tat, fit for fat. Because Jesse Ryder is actually fit.
Hayden put down first ball, goes on to make 60 odd. He's also dropped in the 10th over, but it's a far more difficult catch and out of everyone's range. Still, KP is murderously angry and he mutters a few things to himself, before putting on his "pleased captain" face and clapping encouragingly at the other players. At least the guy is trying.
Dale Steyn looked to be on ampethamines as usual. The trademark manic facial expression, frenzied walking, twitching, making weird faces at batsmen. The shortened prison inmate haircut.
Kallis is fittingly hit all around the ground, and goes for 20 in his first over. Hayden does most of the damage. Good man. Although, I have to say, Jacques Kallis was looking good out there, like sexy good. Haha, okay, I won't even joke about something as disturbing as that. My bad. Apologies.
Matty Hayden brings up his 3rd IPL 50, getting 53 off 22 deliveries. That's the fastest half-century for any CSK player ever.
The commentators have chats to Stephen Fleming and other players, asking them about the time out. It's hilarious to hear everyone dodging the truth and lying through their teeth about it. It has never been easier to hear the underlying thoughts behind someone's words before. They all think it's shit, but aren't at liberty to disclose this opinion. Frankly, it's a load of bullshit. I can deal with ads thrown in between overs, after wickets, after no balls even, because it's only disrupting my viewing of the game. But when advertising starts to intrude on the game itself, that's crossing the line.
We saw it again today with Chennai losing their momentum during the tactical time-out. I believe it was Tom Moody who said after Punjab's loss the other night that "We had seven and a half minutes to lose the momentum". That's the best anyone has ever put it. I'm going to burn an effigy of Lalit Modi because he's the figurehead of the IPL and therefore responsible for this outrage.
How good were the CSK cheerleaders? Not good, exactly, but more interesting than the others. They pwned the White Mischief Gals out there with their new moves. You could see them chatting away with each other trying to come up with some Bollywood-esque moves to match the music. Chennai Super Kings also had a drummer, who was there when Murali was presented with the MoM award.
After the time-out, Kevvy comes in and two wickets are gone in the next two balls. Bowled Parthiv Patel and Haydos run out next ball because of Suresh Raina. I wonder if KP will continue bowling to batsmen who aren't ready. Just a thought.
Cut to Ray Rennings who believes Bangalore can "confidently chase 180 or 190." My ass.
Dale Steyn drops Suresh Raina in an absolute sitter. He was actually doing a favour for his own team, because Raina continued to occupy the crease at a very ODI 28 off 29 balls. What the fuck does he think he's playing? Ryan Campbell went on and on about this during the ad breaks, as though he was the only person who didn't prefer Raina to perhaps Flintoff or Morkel. I do agree with it, but fuck, I'd love for Campbell to shut his trap.
Thank fuck Raina is out at the end of the 19th over, allowing Albie onto the field alongside Freddie. Albie hits the first ball for 4, great shot, and the next one is a definite 4 but it's saved by Robin Uthappa who is keeping. Dale Steyn is given a totally ridiculous wide call which pisses him off a little, and rightly so. But he has his revenge and bowls Albie on the last ball. 5 off 3. Imagine what he could have done with 29 balls. Fucking Raina.
179/5 after 20 overs. The highest T20 score ever at Sahara Park in Port Elizabeth.
Then Bangalore are on and there's the usual shindig of the entire team collapsing, save for the Wall.
Balaji feeds Jacques Kallis a couple of half volleys, which Kallis easily sends away for 4. What the fuck is wrong with Kallis? His strike rate is over 100.
Albie's on, and he pretends to appeal, even managing to conjure up fake indignation when the umpire calls wide. Good times. In his next over, he gets Jacques Kallis out lbw. Great. Someone needed to get the fat prick out. Kallis leaves with 24 off 19 balls, a miracle by his standards.
As with every match, there's a stupid glory shot of the IPL trophy. I bet nobody saw Lalit Modi humping it earlier on.
Then KP's out lbw off Murali. He's pissed. He thinks he got bat on it. Simon Taufel thinks not. It's okay, because KP will have his revenge later on, during the tactical time-out. KP tells Virat Kohli to hit the ball directly at Simon Taufel first ball of the 11th over. Kohli obliges his angry captain. Taufel is none the wiser as to who ordered the attack on him.
Dravid tries to put up a stand but runs out of partners and is eventually caught by Flintoff. Bangalore are bowled out for 87, losing by 92 runs. Shameful.
Presentation ceremony, KP calls Hayden a "genius". Wow.
Dhoni thinks "we definitely need to improve on our bowling". I'm not too sure about the "definitely". That's an odd thing to say after your bowlers have been brilliant.
Murali is MoM for his 3 wickets for 11. Okay, that's good. He thinks Haydos should have gotten it.
Hayden walks away with the orange cap he claimed off Dravid.
KP Watch:
Looking out for KP's hugging, I saw him hugging bowlers with one arm as he spoke to them. That's all for the night, however. He was tense the rest of the time.
I'm going to fess up here and say that I want KP to do well in this tournament. I don't know why, but I'm backing him as well now. So there you go. I never thought this day would come.
Ryan Campbell's expert advice of the night:
"He perhaps had a very good set of manboobies last year." -On Robin Uthappa, and yes, "manboobies"
Giving fashion advice to Dravid, outing his "light blue undershirt beneath red uniform" as a fashion no-no. This was a joint Wingard and Campbell discussion. They also gave a bad fashion rating to the purple and orange coloured caps.
"The doosra - the one that goes the other way - was fantastic."
Thanks for that explanation, Einstein.
"I got caught up in the glitz and glamour of Shuk Rah Khan."
Campbell thinks that Chennai should conspire during the tactical time-out to "run out Patel".
Ryan Campbell is "not too convinced with Patel, especially when they have Morkel and Flintoff down the order."
Now, I know Ryan rates Albie as one of his top 3 T20 batsmen, and is strangely enthusiastic about seeing him on the field, WHAT THE FUCK? Why the hell would you send Albie or Freddie in to open the batting? Christ.
Ad of the day:
Lazypatch duvet suit - walking around with a bodysuit which is essentially one giant blanket. Only you can't escape it because it's also a bodysuit.
"We are friends."
Sunday, 19 April 2009
On Shuk Rah Khan & IPL Opening Matches
What a terrifically boring match between Chennai and Mumbai. It had all the essentials of T20 cricket: few sixes (or DLF Maximums, I should say), lots of singles, ordinary bowling, and best of all, a lethargic crowd. The biggest cheer was for Duminy, but apart from that, it hardly felt INCREDIBLY ENTHUSIASTIC. It's not India, so it's the best we could expect.
More important news:
WTF WHERE IS ALBIE?
Okay, I won't say it doesn't make sense to have Albie rested for this one match and new internationals brought in. After all, he did only play an ODI the night before, and Chennai had plenty to draw on. But I was surprised. I was actually expecting to see him in the line-up. No fear, because later on, we were treated to a scary sight of Lalit Modi spending perhaps half an hour on the grass next to Albie's chair, talking to him. What was this about? I was entirely confounded as to what they could be talking about. I asked my viewing friend, however, and they suggested that Modi was asking Albie about South Africa. That made a lot of sense, actually. Of course Modi would want to find out from a local where the best strip club in the district was.
One HD's coverage and "Shuk Rah Khan"
Forget the Chennai vs. Mumbai match, this was the real torture of the night for Australian viewers. We were treated to a particularly mindnumbing pair hosting the coverage of the IPL, Anthony Hudson and Ryan Campbell. What an AFL commentator is doing covering the IPL two years in a row now is beyond me. Then there's Ryan Campbell. Retired WA cricketer, need I say more? Okay, I will. He's an idiot.
We were constantly cut away from the live coverage of the IPL to listen to Hudson and Campbell banter on for a bit about the game, and at times, try their hand at commentating. Hudson repeatedly turned to Campbell for seemingly expert advice. When Ryan Campbell is giving you expert advice, you know something's wrong. He came out with comments such as "Something in my waters is saying Mumbai will win." and even said that he'd be backing Kolkata Knight Riders this year because he just "loves their owner, Shuk Rah Khan." Now, I'm no Bollywood buff, but even I can tell you that is clearly incorrect. I also find it hard to believe Campbell could just "love this guy" when he doesn't even know his name. Worse still, every time Campbell said "Shuk Rah Khan", Anthony Hudson seemed to make a face, but I'm baffled as to why Ryan Campbell has now gone two years saying Shuk Rah Khan on live television repeatedly, and no one has thought to correct him. When he does find out, it'll be embarrassing beyond belief.
In addition to this, the expert Ryan Campbell seems to think "tactical time-outs" have been put in place because teams have slow over rates, and that the intention of the time-out is to "stop the game and have a chat" with the players about slow over rates. WTF? Incompetent idiot. Apart from the fact there is no logic behind this whatsoever, it's disgusting that we're expected to take him seriously. I'd sooner take AB de Villiers and his faith in God seriously.
When you'd desperately rather listen to the awkward commentating pair of Mark Nicholas and Ravi Shastri, you know something's wrong.
Dog of the Match
A true star. Our Lassie of of the night deserved the Man of the Match award. I've never seen more athleticism before. A 10 or so minute break involved the players following the dog around the field, and dozens of security officials flooding the field. At one stage, Jacob Oram thought he had it, but the dog just wheeled around and trotted back towards the middle. Manpreet Gony tried tempting the dog with a cricket ball, but apparently it's been brought up on gourmet dog food its entire life, so cricket balls won't do. That's when a woman had the sense to bring a sandwich onto the field. Tough luck, because Doggie was going nowhere. The only dives on that field during that match were to catch dogs, not balls. Even extra players from both teams wandered back onto the field to observe the spectacle.
Jrod has a video of the dog up, but I found a longer one up on YouTube which goes through a lot of the dog's tenure as a cricket player:
Lovely.
Citi Moments of Success
I almost understand DLF Maximums, but rechristening every single "moment of success" as a Citi Moment of Success is becoming grating. I'm sick of it. The commentators don't even seem to know what exactly qualifies for being a Citi Moment of Success. "Is that a Citi Moment of Success... Yes, I think so... Perhaps not."
Bangalore vs. Rajasthan
The more interesting match of the night. Rather inexplicably, I found myself going for Bangalore, somewhere in the middle of their disastrous first over. When Jesse Ryder waddled off the field (okay, I made a fat joke. So sue me) and Ross Taylor moved across his stumped, both wickets being accredited to Dimitri Mascarenhas, things were looking pretty shit for the Royal Challengers.
KP came out a lot sooner than he'd probably expected, and was gifted with a massive boo from the crowd. Perhaps any other player and they'd have let this get to them a little, but not KP. With a calm "Fuck you" attitude, he took to the ball and confidently hit 32 off 30 balls. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I want to see more of KP, especially if he does everything in his power to piss off the crowds. Oh the entertainment.
Then came Dravid. There's a reason everyone should still love this guy. Top act, classy performance, literally saved the match for Bangalore with his 66 off 48 balls at a strike rate of 137. Yeah, that's right. 137. Who said he wasn't suited to this form of the game? Dravid even had a little "fuck you" moment when he pointed to the dressing rooms following his half century. You know, I'm still not convinced he's a top T20 performer, but Dravid is the most effortless hitter of the ball. He deserved his MoM for taking his team from disaster to success. The Bangalore bowlers did a lot later on too.
Warnie. You know it, this guy's still ripping up the best balls in matches. Goddamn, some of his deliveries tonight were beautiful, and he shook off the rust of not having played for a year or so and took 2 wickets for 18. He was hit for one six. Really good stuff from Warne, the flight on his deliveries was amazing at times.
Bangalore's bowlers were brilliant. They'd set a target of 134, and they restricted extremely well early on. At one stage, half of Rajasthan's runs were derived from extras. Dale Steyn gave away a million wides, but he hadn't had the best preparation for the game following the ODI the previous night, so all is forgiven. Praveen Kumar was also a standout, picking up Graeme Smith and Asnodkar's wickets when it mattered most.
By the time Kumble came around, I was delirious, I won't reveal from what. So when he took those 5 wickets for 5, I wasn't sure whether I was imagining it. When I did hop off to sleep, I still didn't quite believe the 58 all out. A quick check this morning and yes, RR had collapsed for that much. Hilarious.
I did check on KP's hugging in the match. He does seem quite eager to get touchy-feely with the other players. First he comes in for the kill, a hug or a pat on the back. Then he backs away for a moment and eyes the player up a little, before eventually coming back in for another hug. So there you go.
More important news:
WTF WHERE IS ALBIE?
Okay, I won't say it doesn't make sense to have Albie rested for this one match and new internationals brought in. After all, he did only play an ODI the night before, and Chennai had plenty to draw on. But I was surprised. I was actually expecting to see him in the line-up. No fear, because later on, we were treated to a scary sight of Lalit Modi spending perhaps half an hour on the grass next to Albie's chair, talking to him. What was this about? I was entirely confounded as to what they could be talking about. I asked my viewing friend, however, and they suggested that Modi was asking Albie about South Africa. That made a lot of sense, actually. Of course Modi would want to find out from a local where the best strip club in the district was.
One HD's coverage and "Shuk Rah Khan"
Forget the Chennai vs. Mumbai match, this was the real torture of the night for Australian viewers. We were treated to a particularly mindnumbing pair hosting the coverage of the IPL, Anthony Hudson and Ryan Campbell. What an AFL commentator is doing covering the IPL two years in a row now is beyond me. Then there's Ryan Campbell. Retired WA cricketer, need I say more? Okay, I will. He's an idiot.
We were constantly cut away from the live coverage of the IPL to listen to Hudson and Campbell banter on for a bit about the game, and at times, try their hand at commentating. Hudson repeatedly turned to Campbell for seemingly expert advice. When Ryan Campbell is giving you expert advice, you know something's wrong. He came out with comments such as "Something in my waters is saying Mumbai will win." and even said that he'd be backing Kolkata Knight Riders this year because he just "loves their owner, Shuk Rah Khan." Now, I'm no Bollywood buff, but even I can tell you that is clearly incorrect. I also find it hard to believe Campbell could just "love this guy" when he doesn't even know his name. Worse still, every time Campbell said "Shuk Rah Khan", Anthony Hudson seemed to make a face, but I'm baffled as to why Ryan Campbell has now gone two years saying Shuk Rah Khan on live television repeatedly, and no one has thought to correct him. When he does find out, it'll be embarrassing beyond belief.
In addition to this, the expert Ryan Campbell seems to think "tactical time-outs" have been put in place because teams have slow over rates, and that the intention of the time-out is to "stop the game and have a chat" with the players about slow over rates. WTF? Incompetent idiot. Apart from the fact there is no logic behind this whatsoever, it's disgusting that we're expected to take him seriously. I'd sooner take AB de Villiers and his faith in God seriously.
When you'd desperately rather listen to the awkward commentating pair of Mark Nicholas and Ravi Shastri, you know something's wrong.
Dog of the Match
A true star. Our Lassie of of the night deserved the Man of the Match award. I've never seen more athleticism before. A 10 or so minute break involved the players following the dog around the field, and dozens of security officials flooding the field. At one stage, Jacob Oram thought he had it, but the dog just wheeled around and trotted back towards the middle. Manpreet Gony tried tempting the dog with a cricket ball, but apparently it's been brought up on gourmet dog food its entire life, so cricket balls won't do. That's when a woman had the sense to bring a sandwich onto the field. Tough luck, because Doggie was going nowhere. The only dives on that field during that match were to catch dogs, not balls. Even extra players from both teams wandered back onto the field to observe the spectacle.
Jrod has a video of the dog up, but I found a longer one up on YouTube which goes through a lot of the dog's tenure as a cricket player:
Lovely.
Citi Moments of Success
I almost understand DLF Maximums, but rechristening every single "moment of success" as a Citi Moment of Success is becoming grating. I'm sick of it. The commentators don't even seem to know what exactly qualifies for being a Citi Moment of Success. "Is that a Citi Moment of Success... Yes, I think so... Perhaps not."
Bangalore vs. Rajasthan
The more interesting match of the night. Rather inexplicably, I found myself going for Bangalore, somewhere in the middle of their disastrous first over. When Jesse Ryder waddled off the field (okay, I made a fat joke. So sue me) and Ross Taylor moved across his stumped, both wickets being accredited to Dimitri Mascarenhas, things were looking pretty shit for the Royal Challengers.
KP came out a lot sooner than he'd probably expected, and was gifted with a massive boo from the crowd. Perhaps any other player and they'd have let this get to them a little, but not KP. With a calm "Fuck you" attitude, he took to the ball and confidently hit 32 off 30 balls. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I want to see more of KP, especially if he does everything in his power to piss off the crowds. Oh the entertainment.
Then came Dravid. There's a reason everyone should still love this guy. Top act, classy performance, literally saved the match for Bangalore with his 66 off 48 balls at a strike rate of 137. Yeah, that's right. 137. Who said he wasn't suited to this form of the game? Dravid even had a little "fuck you" moment when he pointed to the dressing rooms following his half century. You know, I'm still not convinced he's a top T20 performer, but Dravid is the most effortless hitter of the ball. He deserved his MoM for taking his team from disaster to success. The Bangalore bowlers did a lot later on too.
Warnie. You know it, this guy's still ripping up the best balls in matches. Goddamn, some of his deliveries tonight were beautiful, and he shook off the rust of not having played for a year or so and took 2 wickets for 18. He was hit for one six. Really good stuff from Warne, the flight on his deliveries was amazing at times.
Bangalore's bowlers were brilliant. They'd set a target of 134, and they restricted extremely well early on. At one stage, half of Rajasthan's runs were derived from extras. Dale Steyn gave away a million wides, but he hadn't had the best preparation for the game following the ODI the previous night, so all is forgiven. Praveen Kumar was also a standout, picking up Graeme Smith and Asnodkar's wickets when it mattered most.
By the time Kumble came around, I was delirious, I won't reveal from what. So when he took those 5 wickets for 5, I wasn't sure whether I was imagining it. When I did hop off to sleep, I still didn't quite believe the 58 all out. A quick check this morning and yes, RR had collapsed for that much. Hilarious.
I did check on KP's hugging in the match. He does seem quite eager to get touchy-feely with the other players. First he comes in for the kill, a hug or a pat on the back. Then he backs away for a moment and eyes the player up a little, before eventually coming back in for another hug. So there you go.
Tuesday, 7 April 2009
India smirks at series win
New Zealand lost.
The series, that is. Otherwise, the game was a draw.
I supported them to the end, so I get all the credit for any success they had, which was little. Rain was their only saviour. Seeing as the match is over now, I'm allowed to be honest. New Zealand were fucked from the moment Chris Martin was sent out to bat with less than 200 on the board. I was obliged to continue ranting on about how they'd win the match, but anyone could tell this would be a draw or a loss.
It should have been a loss. NZ will be thanking their lucky stars for a draw. The highlights of their day were few. Ross Taylor scored 107, by far the most valuable NZ player this innings. James Franklin also hit 49, before Tendulkar trapped him. Interestingly, our favourite blogger also hit 19 off 17 balls, so that's an impressive personal victory for him.
Dravid is continuing to motor away with those catches. He's up to 184 now, that's 3 in one day. By the time he retires, that record is going to be quite imposing.
Looking good while your face is hidden behind a helmet isn't hard - Just ask Tim
Gautam Gambhir was awarded Man of the Match. He was pleased to receive his award.
He's not going to drink it, of course. That would be blasphemy.
When receiving the award, Ghambir announced that tonight he'd "go out to local supermarkets to pick up hot chicks". Nice.
Monday, 6 April 2009
Breaking records and catching things
It is the way of Rahul Dravid.
This man is pretty darn amazing, suspicious stains withstanding and all.
Most catches by a fielder ever. Good job.
This man is pretty darn amazing, suspicious stains withstanding and all.
Sunday, 5 April 2009
A little trans-Tasman love
I want New Zealand to win.
In Australia, it is highly inappropriate to want New Zealand to win. We try to keep our neighbours firmly underfoot.
But it is even more inappropriate to want India to win, after the horrendous summer of monkeys. Although, deviating from the stereotype, most Australians supported the Indians then.
The fact is, though, New Zealand won't win this match. On the 3rd day of play, India are leading by 250 runs with 9 wickets to spare. Sehwag is out, but that's barely a dent in the Indian batting line-up. They're like zombies. You kill one, but then a new wave replaces it immediately. You can't fight the zombies.
Meanwhile, Gambhir is motoring away nicely.
Dravid has hit 9 off 59 balls. Don't even ask.
India will easily widen this deficit throughout the course of the day's play.
The best New Zealand can hope for is a draw, and even that will require marvellous feats of dead boring blocking and stalling at the crease.
But they won't win the match.
Nevertheless, in a show of much needed trans-Tasman love, I will support New Zealand to the end. The very end. So from this point on, I will only post about how NZ will win the match. And that's win, not draw.
Someone has to bridge the ties between our two countries.
In Australia, it is highly inappropriate to want New Zealand to win. We try to keep our neighbours firmly underfoot.
But it is even more inappropriate to want India to win, after the horrendous summer of monkeys. Although, deviating from the stereotype, most Australians supported the Indians then.
The fact is, though, New Zealand won't win this match. On the 3rd day of play, India are leading by 250 runs with 9 wickets to spare. Sehwag is out, but that's barely a dent in the Indian batting line-up. They're like zombies. You kill one, but then a new wave replaces it immediately. You can't fight the zombies.
Meanwhile, Gambhir is motoring away nicely.
Dravid has hit 9 off 59 balls. Don't even ask.
India will easily widen this deficit throughout the course of the day's play.
The best New Zealand can hope for is a draw, and even that will require marvellous feats of dead boring blocking and stalling at the crease.
But they won't win the match.
Nevertheless, in a show of much needed trans-Tasman love, I will support New Zealand to the end. The very end. So from this point on, I will only post about how NZ will win the match. And that's win, not draw.
Someone has to bridge the ties between our two countries.
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