Kyle Coetzer is a bloody genius

Via The Corridor, finally the footage of that excellent catch by Kyle Coetzer is available. Best catch ever, or at least in this tournament. The only thing that could have made it better is if it was die AB's wicket, and it wasn't but oh well:



The Scots are clever freaks. I like them.

The New Muralidaran

Come on, don't say you weren't expecting it. Clearly it's the new 'it' in the chucker's guide to escaping penalty.

Johan Botha has an arm deformity.

Don't cry foul, soon all the off-spinners are going to be saying the same. Maybe Botha will bowl with an arm brace for an over in a match to prove his point. All in the name of cricket.

"Johan's arms aren't straight when they hang by his sides. They are naturally bent at the elbow. He has a natural deformity."

That's Vinnie Barnes, the South African bowling coach. Johan also tearfully told his tale of disability to Cricinfo:

"You have to bend your elbow to bowl it, but in my case it starts bent and stays that way."

And here's a little something to set your blood boiling. Us darn Aussies are really quite evil, we call just about any players from the subcontinent for chucking if we can't play them. Forget our own home-bred chuckers who we apparently don't out (despite having done so on many an occasion), the real reason we're such sick bastards who repeatedly make chucker claims against others if because we can't bowl it ourselves:

Bruce Elliott, the UWA professor who is also the ICC biomechanist, had made an interesting discovery in his dealings with finger spinners. "He said he had found that a lot of bowlers from the subcontinent could bowl the doosra legally, but not Caucasian bowlers," Barnes said.

Clearly this is the perfect fuel to add to the fire of the debate which is raging in many places about the supposed tendency of Aussie players to call chuckers. We're just so jealous of those bowlers, you see. Why should they get to bowl the doosra while we can't? You know what, how about we just report them? Sounds like a plan.

I hope the woeful bias and ludicrosity of the arguments that Aussies just call any off-spinner outside their country a chucker is blatant in that above paragraph. I'm not having a go at anyone, but it seems a wasted opportunity to not point out that those claims are ill-founded. Not only do we identify chuckers in Australia, often at an early age, but those who manage to make it to state level are denounced for their bowling action. It's really not a lie when we say that you just won't make it to the big time if you're a pie chucker in Australia.

And on the same note as the article referenced to above, a comment by Mark Boucher:

"There are other guys out there who bowl the doosra who should be sent for testing. Let's see how they shape up under the new regulations."

I guess they all have deformities too.

Not a chucker, just a poor deformed bastard.

Speak of the devil

While the complete destruction of Bangalore has taken place by the RR bowling attack, I was almost hoping BRC would win. Why, you ask? Because of Dravid, I answer. If you're going to leave your newborn kid at home and trot off to another country to play for a drunken tycoon (okay, for cash too) you'd think a little winning would be the perfect way to start things. But no, he's out for a duck.

Then it's up to Boucher, ROFL or Mr. Smooth to step up. The first fails, but ROFL hit a boundary off Morne (HAHAHA, watch Albie bowl better later tonight) and then gritted his teeth together and made weird facial expressions as he excitedly looked for another gap in which to hit the ball to.

The variations of how all the player's say Morne's name is hilarious. But even better is the commentators talking about him after he took the Kohli catch or some other batsman:

"Speak of the devil."

Now if you were a rational person, that would make sense. But if you're A GOD-FEARING, JESUS-LOVING GOOD HOLY CHRISTIAN then the moment you hear that sentence your life is changed forever. Out come the crucifixes and holy water. Out comes AB's favourite book.

Really, if I were going to pick a devil in the Rajasthan team, I'd say Munaf Patel. Occasionally, you see flashes of his alter ego poking through and his eyes are replaced by fiery balls of hell. It is quite hard to pick up if you're not trained in the art of identifying devils like I am.

I'm also a ninja in my spare time, but I have dabbled in Ghostbusting.

Royal Challengers South Africa

Apart from the rather wanky name, the Royal Challengers Bangalore (oh fuck it, I'm going with BRC) seem to have formed an alliance with internationals from the South African part of the world. It's certainly of assistance in the SAPL, so let's take a look at their line-up, or more importantly, the saffa part of their line-up:

• Ray Jennings (okay, so he's coach, but it counts)
• Mark Boucher
• Jacques Kallis
• Dale Steyn
• ROFL
• Dillon du Preez

5 internationals from South Africa, not including the coach. Then take into account the likelihood of these players actually being part of the line-up. At least 3 are guaranteed a spot in the final XI, regardless of who they are, and BRC wouldn't be doing themselves any harm by even having 4 in their line-up.

The other teams in the competition have a more diverse range of foreign players. Kolkata Knight Rider have 2 saffas, Mumbai also have 2, plus the bowling and fielding coaches Shaun Pollock and Jonty Rhodes, Rajasthan have 3, Chennai have 2, Delhi 1, but he's determined to take the places of 3 people, Deccan also have 1, and Punjab have acquired 1 this year too.

A lot of those teams have yet to play one or more of their saffa players. Meanwhile, Bangalore have poached a lot of South Africa's best players from the outset.

It begs the question, did Vijay Mallya somehow know the IPL would be shifted to South Africa in the second year before he bid on any of the players last year?

Oh, and if you're looking to twist things a little, BRC have 6 South African players, if you count Kevin Pietersen.

No Captaincy For Jacques

It's all a downward spiral for Jacques' IPL hopes. Now Ray Jennings is saying the captaincy is still being decided upon, even though they had pretty much made it clear he would be captain after KP left.

What did it? The pathetic bowling or the equally-as-bad batting? I am very interested. What tipped Bangalore over the edge? The 4 straight losses might have had something to do with it. And the fact that Jacques is just a fat fuck who doesn't even deserve the title of "Best All-Rounder in the World" but who still has it heaped on him regularly.

Or maybe they were truly terrified by the thought of captaining by consensus. Imagine that. No Dravid, no KP, just Jacques and a whole bunch of young Indian players, plus a Dale Steyn, Ross Taylor, Anil Kumble and maybe a Jesse Ryder. Sounds like a great decision-making committee. So many Kiwis they'd probably fuck it all up. But Kumble is the one good thing about that. I'm sure they could trust him, even if he's say the Deccan Chargers hadn't played in the spirit of the game because they WON, DAMMIT. Alright, that's a low dig. But I don't care.

Then again, who else does Bangalore have now? Nobody, that's what. They're fucked, and I'm not saying that lightly. They are well and truly fucked, and nobody's going to save their asses after KP hops on his private jet for England and slides down giant mountains of cash in his new mansion with glee.

Ray Jennings isn't even sure if he wants to play Jacques. That's desperate. If I were Ray Jennings, I'd play Jacques just to have a laugh, and then put all my money on the other team winning. That isn't how it works, unfortunately.

After that, they'd have to bring in Boucher, just to be a second senior player in the team and to make sure Jesse doesn't flip and Hulk everyone to bits. Jennings has said that if Jacques does play then of course he, wait for it... might be captain. So the only way for him to not possibly captain is if he doesn't play. And it seems as though Jennings is seriously considering that possibility.

Hallelujah. And not the sad one, the happy one.

"UNFLAPPABLE, TIRELESSLY SPENDS HOURS AT THE CREASE, ARGUABLY THE MOST PRIZED TEST WICKET AFTER RICKY PONTING, SIMILAR TO DON BRADMAN."

Spotto

It's been a while since I've done a Spotto. This one's my favourite of the photos linked to in a previous post:

Courtesy of Richie, Spotted: Boucher pulling off the wicketkeeping gloves and putting on the boxing gloves.

At the expense of Albie.

Albie is out

Johnson bowled him.

The bastard.

This warrants its own post. I wish I hadn't told AB to give Albie the strike.

Now AB's on the way to 100, having gotten rid of the only player on the team who deserved glory. It was his plan all along. I should have known.

Hey Boucher, now that Albie's gone, how about you run AB out?

Too bad, the Echidna's on it, and AB's out. Fuck yes. That's how you take a catch. That's whose catch you take.

Hello Duminy. Feeling excited? Beat the crap out of Mitch. Just do something insane for once. Reveal emotions.

Am imagining a smug AB consoling Albie over his shit score. "It's okay, Albie, it's only 21 times smaller than mine." Cunning bastard.

Someone get out. This is boring. Oh wait, forget it, Boucher hit a six. Duminy's turn.

Haha, Johnson dropped Duminy on Bracken's ball. Bracken glared at him through his hair - nobody ever dropped anyone from Johnson's bowling.

Did anyone else notice Kallis had more runs than Albie? This is like the Twilight Zone.

Duminy and Boucher go seriously insane. I like it. 15 runs off Johnson's over. Apparently God does exist. I'm off to tell AB. (btw, Albie orchestrated this, payback for Johnson)

DUMINY IS OUT ON THE LAST BALL. That's hilarious. I bet he planned that, just to rub the insignificance of a wicket in the Aussies' faces. At least Mike Hussey took the catch. And strangely enough, Harwood has 2 wickets.

Stellar knock by Duminy. 40 off 25 balls. If you double that, he would have practically matched AB in 50 balls. Dodgy stats, but whatever. Anything to undermine AB's efforts.

South Africa 317/6. Australia stand no chance. There, I said it. Bring on some last ditch desperate attempts to salvage the match.

Mark Boucher's Website

Yes, you knew it. Let me be honest from the get go here and say that Mark's website is a hell of a lot better than AB's or Jacques'. Especially Jacques'. I didn't laugh at Mark anywhere near as much as I laughed at the others, but there were still plenty of laughs to be had from his website. Plenty.

Mark is quite open about the fact that someone manages his website for him. It is a lady by the name of Kendra who is responsible for forwarding fan mail and questions to him. The site reveals more, such as the fact that AB got the idea for "Ask AB" from Mark, and in fact, the idea for having a website at all from Mark.

Mark is possibly the most normal senior member of the SA cricket team. He doesn't have crazy superstitions, isn't a muppet, doesn't seem to be lacking in brain cells, isn't a crazy religious junkie, hasn't raped anyone yet by my count, isn't tempted by the prospect of taking drugs while on an away tour, so I'd say this all equates to him being the most "normal" senior member of the team.

The About page is quite interesting. The first photo is of Mark as a, let's face it, fat child. He's a cute kid, but I appear to be looking directly at a growing beer belly in the photo.

The caption reads "Mark wearing his favourite Heidi t-shirt"

The About page has a lot of quotes from various people about how Mark is the best wicketkeeper South Africa has ever had, and related things. It also speaks of many records Mark has broken. At least he isn't simply unflappable and selflessly able to spend hours at the crease like Jacques Kallis.

But there's a very interesting comment on the page:

Boucher showed his leadership qualities when he talked to Herschelle Gibbs and got him to tell the truth about his match fixing.

...What? Is this The Mark Show or something? Why is he calling out Gibbs on this? As it turns out, this isn't the first example of Mark taking the moral high ground over people like Gibbs. he does it several times in other places too.

The Mark Show continues a little while later, at the expense of Shaun Pollock and Graeme Smith:

[He] led the team in tests four times. These matches included a victory over Australia, an achievement which neither Pollock nor current captain Graeme Smith can boast of.

This is a very 'ha ha I beat you' approach to take to a team member. If Graeme ever reads this, he's going to morph into a muppet and kill Mark.

Which one is Graeme?

Then there's a description of Mark which is hilarious:

He is well known for his tough, 'Australian-like' approach to the game and it has been said that he steps onto a cricket field like he owns it.

Funny, I've never noticed that before. I wonder who supposedly said it. And is acting like an Australian dickhead suddenly the new cool in cricket? I thought it induced threats of boycotts, not praise.

Like most wicketkeepers, he can often be heard to sledge the opposing team's batsmen. In a test match against Zimbabwe he started sledging Tatenda Taibu, the Zimbabwean wicket-keeper which included Boucher saying 'what's your average!'

Hahaha, good one! Let's really psych them out, Mark! What's your average!

There is even a Did you know? section at the bottom of the page:

• Our national keeper has a Gold award for Afrikaans Poetry in the Grahamstown Eisteddfod.
• Boucher was also a talented athlete having had a budding career as a high jumper.
• His favorite pastime at school was engraving his girl friends names onto the desks at school.
• Boucher broke a bone in his arm in his Matric year while performing a stage dive of historic proportions off a roof while playing a Guns ‘n Roses air guitar at a friend’s party.
• The little scar on his lip is not from some manly bar fight as he might claim but was caused by a nasty encounter with a trolley while racing at the Vincent Park shopping centre!

I don't even know how to respond to these. I love his favourite pasttime, however. Judging by all the list of achievements, however, I would have expected it to be "winning". And I cannot even begin to imagine what the "nasty encounter with a trolley" would entail. How do you even have a nasty encounter with a shopping trolley?

Among other things on Mark's site, there's a Fan Club page, where every week, a different fan is profiled on his site. This week it's Storm Pelser. She has captivating eyes that are similar to Mark Boucher's. And Alistair Cook's. I hope to be next week's fan of the week.

And now we're onto the Ask Mark page. It's the second best part of his site. A lot of it is fan mail, but there are some gems hidden in the Ask Mark section...

Q. During lunch breaks do you actually eat or do something else?
FROM ODETTE OLIVIER, SA

Excellent question, Odette.

Q. Your website is 10,000 times better than AB's except for his videos!!
FROM MADIHA BASHEER, SAUDI ARABIA

Take that, AB! 10,000 times! Mark must be gloating.

Q. Who is your best friend in the team and who is the best bowler?
FROM DANIYAL MARK, PAKISTAN
I have lots of close friends in the team but I suppose I am closest to Jacques as we have played together for so long and live near to each other as well. I couldn't choose one particular bowler as they all have specific talents.

Just when you think he's normal, you find out Jacques is his best friend...

Q. Your sister Che is really gorgeous, please tell her.
FROM MADIHA BASHEER, SAUDI ARABIA
What and give her a big head...don't think so!! Okay I will tell her.

Funniest reply ever. Okay I will tell her.

There is even a follow-on Q&A from a fan named "Leesa Nottle". It begins with her saying this:

Q. My whole family is barracking for you guys. Keep it up know you can beat them in SA!
FROM LEESA NOTTLE, AUSTRALIA
Not too sure what barracking is but it sounds like a good thing so thank your family for their support from me.

Q. Barracking means we are supporting you guys. Kick butt in the ODI's.
FROM LEESA NOTTLE, AUSTRALIA
Good I thought it sounded worse, thanks for clearing that one up.

Awkward... If I were Mark, I would have just not posted that follow-up comment by Leesa and followed AB's lead in censorship.

Q. Do you like India and it's food. What is your height?
FROM SHIKHA PAL, INDIA
Definitely I love India and it's food. Back home I visit my local curry restaurant often as it is the nearest I get to proper Inidan food. My height is.......

His height is... dun dun DUN. This is more exciting than a James Bond movie.

Q. Is it true that you have retired from the game?
FROM MAVA MAHAMBA, SA
The last time I checked I was still playing. No plans to retire yet.

It's questions like these which make me think he's being far more tongue-in-cheek than AB would or Jacques could ever be.

Q. What is your favourite hobby and why?
FROM ROXY LIGHTFOOT, ZIMBABWE
Hi Roxy, how's it going there in Zim? If you can call Golf a hobby than that is mine.

Mark is so down with it he's abbreviated Zimbabwe. I wonder if Roxy send him a reply telling him how it's going in Zim.

Q. South African team is one of my favourites. What religion are you?
FROM SHIKHA PAL, INDIA
Hi Shikha, thanks for the vote. I am not particularly into any religion more than another but at the moment my religion is cricket!

See, better than AB, if it weren't for the cheesiness.

Q. Is "my boe"t afrikaans..what does it mean?
FROM DASUNI BAPTIST, SRI LANKA
Hi Dasuni. Firstly I would like to give you my condolences regarding the tragedy that happened at the Lahore stadium. The team and I are horrified and send you all our best wishes during this difficult time. My boet means my brother. Best wishes my boet. Mark

And Mark wins the award for THE most awkward segue ever.

Q. We met you when my son was playing squash at Londt Park. We are so proud of your success.
FROM DOREEN SEABORNE, SA
Hi Doreen, please send my regards to Ryan and thanks a lot for your support over the years.

Creepy. He knows the kid's name

Q. You are the sexiest man alive on planet earth!!
FROM MADIHA BASHEER, SAUDI ARABIA
Ha Ha thanks Madiha.
Ha ha, thanks! Madiha is quite the fan.

Q. Good luck and know that I am flying my SA flag high here in Qatar.
FROM CHANEL FLOYD, QATAR
Hi again Chanel...thanks for all your support from over there in Qatar. Hope you don't get into trouble flying another flag.

She will. The Flag Police are onto her.

Q. You are so witty and sweet especially answering all our questions. I'm rooting for you guys.
FROM HARINI BAPTIST, SRI LANKA
Words can't describe how you must be feeling after the trajedy at Lahore. The boys and I wish you, the team and the country all the best during this nightmare. All the best. Mark

If someone started spouting a spiel about how I'm living in a NIGHTMARE, I'd be terrified. Why does Mark keep making such terrible segues such to express his humanity?

Q. The broadcaster won't show us games so please use your bat to hit him he must be standing nearby.
FROM MADIHA BASHEER, SAUDI ARABIA
That's ridiculous...what's the problem with them? Wish I could help.

Funniest question ever, which explains why Mark had no idea how to reply to that. What's the problem with them?

Q. It's great watching you from Oz. Hope you get on top of this run chase.
FROM JADE HEEPS, AUSTRALIA
So do I!! Thanks for the support from Oz. How about sending us some pics so we can SEE who our Aussie fans are?

He asks for someone else to send photos also. This is getting quite creepy. Soon he'll be demanding young girls send him photos of themselves

Q. Ur always great to watch AB ain't bad either. What's your favourite food?
FROM KING KHAN, UK
Thanks mate. I love sushi.

Wasn't expecting that response...

Q. Just been on AB's site but I love your site more. Don't tell AB. Ha Ha
FROM ODETTE OLIVIER, SA
OOPS.. too late.Hee Hee

Odette is weird as shit. Mark's "Hee Hee" is weirder.

Q. Have you ever taken drugs?
FROM SANDY RICHARDS, ST LUCIA
No I think it is the dumbest thing you could do to yourself. Have never understood why people do it.

HI HERSCHELLE.

Q. What would you do if not cricket? Pls tell Dale he's cute..so are you.
FROM ZAINAB IRFAN, PAKISTAN
Well I'd like to think I could have been a golfer but who knows if I would have made it. Will pass the message onto Dale.

Will he really? That would be the most awkward conversation ever. "Hey Dale, Zainab from Pakistan says you're cute." "...Right."

Q. So glad you guys wrapped up the series. Being an Indian I support you coz ur so hard working!
FROM MADIHA BASHEER, SAUDI ARABIA
How's it Madiha, what's it like living in Saudi? Thanks for your support.

I dunno. Pretty much the same as living in any other part of the world.

Q. You are officially my favourite wickie now that Gilly is gone. Do you miss him?
FROM JEANAN YASSEN, AUSTRALIA
Gilly is a fantastic cricketer so yes I guess I miss the professional rivalry. He is a top bloke and he also sent me a message of congratulations when I got my record. I wish him all the best.

AHH, TOP BLOKE.

Q. Although I'm Australian well done for the wins. Why does everyone ask about AB love your replies.
FROM ANASTASIA THOMPSON, AUSTRALIA
Thanks God he's got his own website now so he can answer all the gals himself!!!

But half your traffic has now gone to AB's site, Mark.

Q. You questioned Sandy over what kind of smoking...do you have something to admit?
FROM SARAH DUNN, UK
No I was only kidding around Sarah. Being a professional sportsman I do NOT dabble in anything stupid like that.

HELLO AGAIN, HERSCHELLE.

Q. You and Jacques have almost ticked off all on your wish list.What does Ja mean?
FROM EMMA DOBBIE, AUSTRALIA
Ja nearly. It means yes...south african style.

Cue Hawaiian music and a beach setting.

Q. I love SA! Does Vaughan Van Jaarsveld have his own website?
FROM ROSHANI JAY, AUSTRALIA
Glad you like SA it's a beautiful place to be. Not sure if he has one..don't think so.

I'm going to hound him with questions and messages for Vaughn so that he'll beg him to start his own website.

Q. Would you be my best man at my wedding to Graeme?
FROM SEALANI BALI, INDIA
For sure!!!

This is perfect by itself.

. Have you ever tried smoking?
FROM SANDY RICHARDS, NEW ZEALAND
Hi Sandy, what type of smoking do you mean? Ha Ha. No I don't like smoking at all.

UNLIKE HERSCHELLE

Q. Are you married or do you have a girl friend?
FROM FRAN MORTON, SA
How's it Fran? No not married, this is a difficult life for anyone to endure so we will have to wait and see.

KP agrees with you entirely.

Q. Sorry to hear about your toe am sure AB will do a great job. Please give him my email address?
FROM EMMA DOBBIE, AUSTRALIA
Thanks Emma. The good news is that AB has his own website now so you girls can ask him all these things yourself now. Cool or what.

First of all, Emma is hilarious. Secondly, cool or what!

Q. am so glad you won. 4get about AB tell Albie he rocks and you of course.
FROM FAY W, AUSTRALIA
Hi Fay. I will be delighted to tell Albie as I think he rocks too.

That's right, 4get about AB, this is the only good fan mail of the lot. I bet Mark didn't tell Albie anything, just like he didn't tell Dale he was cute.

Q. Can you ask the Morkels if they remember a sign that read Morkels=speed of light please?
FROM FLEUR MATHEWS, AUSTRALIA
Hi Fleur...like the wording...where's my sign?

I can make a better Morkel sign than that. "MORNE: DROPPED"

Q. My mum thinks you are good looking!
FROM YASMINE FINCHUM, AUSTRALIA
Well she's got good taste what can I say? Just kidding please tell your mum a big thank you.

Now Yasmin's dad is coming for Mark.

Q. Have you ever been a nuaghty boy and caught up in a tabloid scandal?
FROM DAVID BROWN, UK
Of course not David!!! So far so good.....

Has Mark ever been a "naughty boy"...

And now for the BEST PART of the site: The Gallery. Here's some of the best:

Mark and Andre Nel. Yeah. Weird.

I would never post this up on my own website.

If Jacques were closing in on my sister, I'd be worried.

Scarily enough, they almost look like a normal couple here. But we know the truth.

Christmas dinner. HI MORNE, WHERE'S ALBIE?

Albie's busy signing autographs with a special needs fan, Kyle.

(There's more photos of Kyle up on the site)

Mark follows team mates into the bathroom.

And gives AB a haircut with his "new found skills".

I've left the worst photo until last. The only worse person who could be in that bath is Jacques Kallis.

And that is Mark Boucher's site. In a few days or weeks time, you may find he has answered a question I sent in. I'll be very interested in seeing his response.

(Blogger's being a little mediocre and posting parts of this as a giant chunk. I'm working on fixing that.)

Winners and Losers

South Africa win, Australia lose. Albie does shit all to help the saffas in their win. Instead, AB's the man of the night (or Kallis, if we're looking at who won MoM) with his 80 off 87 balls, and Jacques' 70 off 86 balls. Mark Boucher was similarly good towards the end of the innings, whereas Albie just never seemed to settle in during his 29 run stand.

Hit it harder, goddammit. But don't get out either.

The pitch was murderously slow, and I almost fell asleep during the SA innings. The curator had made it so in order to limit movement later at night. If the IPL's kicking off here very soon, I'd hate to see the same sort of pitch in play. It would be tedious, even for a T20.

ROFL did an excellent job, coming in the last over and scoring a quick 6. He also took 3/37, picking up Clarke, Mike Hussey and Ferguson. On the subject of Hussey, the poor man was out lbw for 1. He's had a terrible time of it, but this seemed to be fate intervening, with the lbw call being clearly wrong. He'd inside edged the ball, but apparently nature was having none of it and natural order prevailed. Mike went back to the dressing room. Things are looking grey for him.

How good was the Echidna, however? 63 off 68 balls, a career best in ODIs, matched only by James Hopes' 63 off 60 balls. Ferguson is really carving himself a place in this side. That's two matches where he's been the first Aussie to step up and put up a real fight.

"Soon, my precioussss, I will take Mike Hussey's place in the side."

On the SA side, when the batting powerplay was called, Duminy cracked into the ball, hitting a six and a four on consecutive balls. Albie was promoted 2 places up the order specially for the powerplay, but eventually swung clumsily at a ball from Johnson, to be bowled. He had a semi-revenge later that night, however, when he bowled the ball on which Johnson was run out. Not amazing, seeing as Duminy was the one who did the real work, but it's something. Success by association. In the end, Albie was the most expensive SA bowler, going for 6.60 runs an over. Not pretty when you compare it to Roelof's economy rate of 3.70, and the 3 wickets alongside it. In any case, it's not as though Albie's going to be dropped from the squad. Not like Morne (Albie is still gloating).

What else? I'm happy to write this about Johnson, seeing as he bowled well but didn't bat at all that well, but he picked up 4 wickets for 34. Impressive. Bowling, that is.

After this all, Ponting is thankfully thinking up excuses to keep Brett Geeves out of the team. Apparently Geeves "has a sore foot at the moment. [They] don't know the extent of it yet but he's hobbling around quite a bit in the change rooms."

Anything to keep him out of the side, hey, Ricky?

Wisden taken over by SAfricans

Well, at least Neil McKenzie has something to be happy about. He accidently forwarded a text to me that he was supposed to send to only Mike Procter. It read: "Take that, bastard."

The 146th edition of the Wisden Almanack featured the well-known five Wisden Cricketers of the Year for the year 2008. 3 of them were South African. What is going on? The players, in no particular order:

1. Neil McKenzie
2. Mark Boucher
3. James Anderson
4. Claire Taylor
5. Dale Benkenstein

Numbers 1, 2, and 5 are saffas. 3 and 4 are English. My favourite of the lot is Claire Taylor. She's been an important part of England's cricket team over the past few years, and was a key player in the last Ashes series (England won). She's actually the first female to be present in the list. Ever.

Neil McKenzie and Mark Boucher received the award for their efforts against England in 2008. I remember that series, when the English started seeing stars in their efforts to get McKenzie's wicket. Unfortunately for them, Neil had morphed into an uglier Dravid and decided to become a wall. The good old days for McKenzie. It feels like so long ago.

Here's what Boucher had to say about the award:

"Like all young boys I used to read the Cricketers of the Year in Wisden every year and be awe-struck - I can't quite believe I'm there now. But I'm equally pleased to be alongside Neil McKenzie. Most people don't realise what a complete package he is, both on and off the field, and how much he contributed to our success in 2008. It's fantastic for him to be honoured in this way."

Neil McKenzie is a "complete package" both on and off the field. Interesting thoughts there, Boucher. Very interesting. Perhaps he was misquoted and it was actually supposed to read "Most people don't realise what a complete package he has." That would explain a lot of things like the closeness and hugs. Why do the South African cricketers always seem to be hugging/being in awkward positions?

Say what you will about bromance, but some things are just not normal.

Neil McKenzie has also said that "being a part of Wisden is a great honour" and has also stated that he just "needs to make a few adjustments and then make sure I get the weight of runs required". Does anyone else feel as though he's being quickly forgotten? Cricket moves fast, and once you're off the bandwagon, it can be difficult to get back on.

By the way, Jacques Kallis has never gotten this award. Too busy eating chicken pasta, I suppose.