Chucky

I'm not talking about Doug Bollinger here, but apparently someone over at Page 2 on Cricinfo thinks AB de Villiers would make a good Chucky.

First of all, what? Second of all, I don't exactly agree but the description is funny as hell:

AB de Villiers may not have the crazy eyes of the doll (part of a series called Good Guys) from Child's Play, but any casting director worth his salt can see how well the South African batsman with the choirboy looks would make a bone-chilling slasher by night, to go with his batsman-slaughterer persona by day. In the twilight hours, de Villiers changes his cricket whites for bloody overalls and pulls out a knife concealed in his bat handle, before going on a killing spree, targeting music critics who've been less than kind to his singing career. Yeah, AB, show them who you (really) are.

There is absolutely nothing better than taking the piss out of die AB's song.

Still, I can think of a dozen better cricketers to be perfect players by day and serial killers at night. The one that springs to mind first is Sybrand Engelbrecht. In fact, I do believe I had detailed this secret part of his life in a previous post of mine. The Ghost of the Knight, that's what he is.

The rest of the article gets a lot wrong, but points for trying. Any valiant movie watcher who combines that knowledge with cricket could come up with a better list. Yes, valiant.

How I stalk my pubs halfway across the world

Catching up on more emails now. Phew.

There's a little something that I do that is unique to me, and it revolves around a rather strange fetish of mine, being to map the locations of every single pub in England on a giant world map stuck to my bedroom wall. I've got all the relevant pins in Cornwall, which is why it's such a travesty that I do not have any pubs located in London stuck there. It always disturbs me to know that.

That was before I discovered the Snaptu fancyapint app, and by extension, the Snaptu Cricinfo app. How it changed my pub-stalking life. Simon sends in the words that may have changed my life forever:

Chris Gayle - there's a cricket ball in my pint! - an anonymous report from the Dog House pub at Kennington Cross near the site of our disgrace (it exists by the way).

As I sat dismally in the Vauxhall End Stand at the Oval today reviewing the match scorecard and cricinfo’s commentary of the last over on my mobile phone I thought sod it - I'm out of here, find me a decent pub.

Luckily I use Snaptu's cricinfo app on my phone and guess what, it has the fancyapint? London pub guide on it too, so before long I was swallowing hard. It also has Twitter, so I was also swallowing hard as I read the banter coming in when I looked at the #WT20 tweets flooding the network!

Ah, here comes Ricky… his round I believe!

Apart from the fact it was useful for completing my pub world map, it's Cricinfo and it's on my mobile and I damn well like it. You might like it too.

But best of all, it's free. You'll go smiling to your grave.

How The World Has Changed

Cricinfo has been beaten to a pulp and then remodelled into the shit crazy website it is now. I like it. Gone are the days of blue and white colour schemes, Cricinfo now has balls. Drop down menus, everything in neat little compartments, ESPN plastered all over it. It's going to take some getting used to and I can't navigate around it completely yet but a quick look around and extended use should do the trick. Plus, it even has a walk-through feature if you have the time. Which I don't. Not today, anyway.

Cricinfo is no longer the grandfather of sports websites.

In other news, just about every team has said they think they can win the World T20. If only one had said it, I might talk about it, but all of them pretty much have so it's useless.

Boy, he sure is cute!

"But the Mischief Gals sure did get the crowd into a frenzy. Can't wait to get on the ground again today evening for our next match and watch Rahul Dravid. Boy, he sure is cute!"

From the lips of a White Mischief Gal herself, Rebecca Lee. I came across the diary of this BRC cheerleader thanks to Ducking Beamers, and well... okay, I can't really say anything. It's all a little too weird.

I still don't understand this concept of winning by runs or wickets.

It's not all that different in other sports, really. Winning by runs is essentially equivalent to winning by home runs, and instead of getting 3 chances to do it, you get 10 in cricket. Not much to this "concept" at all.

I'm just surprised Cricinfo is getting one of the Mischief Gals to blog at theirs a bit. You think you're on the outside, but no, now you can see into the minds of these Mischief Gals. It's all very stereotypically American cheerleader. Not that I was expecting something different.

The woman in the front is not 40.

Drool, fool, burp

Alright! Here's how you blog about cricket, ladies:

Cheerleaders may attract more men to the IPL but who brings the girls in? Here are XI IPL hotties who get the ladies giggling and tossing their hair.

Now, while I'm not going to deny that a good looking sportsman will bring in the female viewers, it's quite an extraordinary sight to imagine ladies "giggling and tossing their hair" either at a player on the ground or at their television screen.

The article is some sort of strange combination of relevant insights into players and drooling over this theme team. It's right at times and just completely wrong at other times. Take, for example, the description of Dan Vettori:

Contrary to popular belief, us girls aren't fixated on men with rippling muscles and washboard abs. No, not if Dan walks into the room. His bespectacled look and slow, deliberate manner of speaking are guaranteed to make you go "aww" and wish you could take him home to Mum.

Half of that is right. The other half is just plain weird.

Not to mention AB making the cut. On looks alone, yeah alright, if you happen to look at the right time.

Brett Lee makes "pretty girls look like hags". Not sure what the intention of that was.

Dale Steyn is "blond". Not in my world.

And apparently Sangakkara the cricket makes the list. The list of men who make girls "giggle and toss their hair". Would you giggle and toss your hair for Sangakkara? I wouldn't. If anything, I'd ask him to play Twister. He looks like a Twister person.

If you were going to make a list like this, there were better options for it.

The article is something I'd expect to see in a women's mag or on Cricket Australia's website, not on Cricinfo.

Okay...

Spotto

Spotted: Yuvraj Singh on Cricinfo