Friday 12 June 2009

Phil's Baggy Green Fetish

Before I allow myself to collapse in a heap of exhaustion, I simply must share this rather creepy interview with little Phil Hughes which sees his eyes zoning out for a moment as he describes in excruciating detail the ritual of sniffing his baggy green that he regularly performs.

It's kind of freaky, like something a sex-obsessed teenage boy would do, only replacing the baggy green with something far different. In an interview with The Daily Telegraph, Phil lets his alter ego poke through:
"I keep it locked away in a pouch in the top left-hand corner of my wardrobe. Every day I make sure it's there. I'll have a peek. It might be in the morning, at night, or even if I'm having a coffee, I'll walk upstairs and look at it. I'll smell it sometimes. It smells like alcohol because of the couple of wins we had in the first Tests in South Africa."
The mental image of Phil furtively sniffing his cap is not one I'd like to keep. If this is what he does to his baggy green, what would he do if he ever got his hands on the Ashes urn alone in a room? Actually, don't even think about that. You might say he's just enthusiastic about living the Aussie dream, but the great Australian dream is to own a house with a decent-sized backyard and I don't see anyone else humping the playset in the backyard. When you start sniffing things, I think it's safe to say you're going a little overboard. Or when you publicly admit to sniffing something.
So while Phillip guards his baggy green under lock and key, occasionally springing surprise checks on it to make sure it hasn't escaped his clutches, I can't help but wonder whether there have been similarly enthusiastic cricketers in past years.

He wants to touch it all over.


Esra_Star said...

That is seriously disturbing! Some details should never be shared.

Amy said...

I reckon, and I generally like the kid too. I hope he doesn't start batting normally or I might start disliking him.

Anyway, I'm off. I never knew it was possible for eyes to hurt this much.

Stani Army said...

There he is, having a piss on the fence where his baggy green is. No wonder it smells of Alcohol.

I've seen that cloud before...the one in the pic. Has anyone else ever had that feeling....coming across a cloud that they've seen before? No? Just me then.

Right guys, she's gone. Let's ransack this place!!!

Just joking Ames...I'll guard it with my life.

Amy said...

It's a Britain-shaped cloud, indicating where Phil's loyalties really lie. I know, I was shocked too.

David Mutton said...

Well, apparently Bill Ponsford used his baggy green to protect his hair while painting his garden fence. Hughes appears to have painted his fence, hung his cap on it and then just stared in the middle distance. Don't make them like they used to etc etc.

Amy said...

The directive was to "stare thoughtfully into the distance as if pondering the main ingredient of your next meal".

I think he did rather well.