Albie Damon

On Cricinfo, there is an article in the Page 2 section which caught my eye for one small reason:

The IPL movie has apparently assembled a star-studded ensemble cast, and will feature Shah Rukh Khan as Shah Rukh Khan, Preity Zinta as Preity Zinta, Aamir Khan as Gautam Gambhir, Vladimir Putin as Nasser Hussain, John C Reilly as Virender Sehwag, Matt Damon as Albie Morkel, and Kamal Hassan as everyone else. The music will, thankfully, not be scored by Sivamani.

I think the actor for Sehwag is particularly apt. Sometimes I get them confused.

But Matt Damon as Albie Morkel? That isn't even funny in my nightmares.

Mumbai vs. Delhi

The question is not who will win, it's who do I want to win? Do I go with Mumbai, the relatively nice team (because I cannot put it any other way), chock full of performers who haven't exactly performed lately but who could easily do so.

Or do I go with the very literal powerhouse Delhi? They're undoubtedly an extremely strong team and every aspect of their play holds up, including their fielding although I won't mention why.

It's a tough decision. On the one hand, MI has good players who are mostly classy and not so arrogant. But Delhi has grit and passion, and spectacular shows of both bat and ball. Thinking tactically, it would be better if MI won, because that would mean Delhi could stay away from top spot a little longer. It's quite disconcerting having them up there. But really, I did once consider whether DD should be my secondary team, and I think that if we want some bloody good entertainment, it's Delhi we should go for.

Mumbai have Tendulkar, Jayasuriya, Duminy, Harbhajan, Malinga, and a good half dozen more. Most of those names aren't associated with explosions.

Delhi have Sehwag, Gambhir, AB de Villiers, Dilshan, Dirk, and hopefully Dan the Man over David Warner, although I do love the latter. Not to mention McGrath on the sidelines. Most of those names are associated with explosions. That's what we want to see in T20. Explosions of any kind, barring brain explosions, which I despise from the bottom of my heart.

So after all this, which team is it? Seeing as I'm not exactly affiliated with any IPL team through geographical location, it really is a matter of wanting certain players (and therefore their teams) to go through, as I'm sure anyone outside of India can vouch for. I mean, I'm not from Chennai, but they have a few players I'd like to see in the finals, so that's how it goes.

Meanwhile, when I weigh up the players in Mumbai against Delhi, there's no doubt about it, Delhi wins. What to do? What to do? My head says no, but my desire to watch some great players shine says yes.

Delhi it is, then. But I won't be too shattered if Mumbai win. That would be a better result anyway.

Can Chennai do it?

It's almost a rematch but nobody can take AB's hundred away from him.

Chennai vs. Delhi.

AB is now the third highest scoring batsman in the competition, last I checked. I might have changed since then, I couldn't care less. He's in the top 5 with a bunch of legendary batsmen. I bet Jesus made it happen.

Albie is looking in form after that last match. He could barely hit a four in that match where he desperately needed to, but last match he was able to get one off his first and only ball. Then he went on to bowl superbly as well. Tonight might be his night.

CSK's chances of winning will be a whole lot higher if Sehwag and Gambhir have yet another brain explosion early on in the innings. What are the chances of them failing again?

I'm just looking forward to seeing Albie take AB's wicket as revenge.

AB takes Delhi to watch rugby

Apparently he thinks they'll be interested.

"We didn't do much off the field in Durban so now that we're in my home town on Saturday, I'm taking them to the big one, Loftus Versveld, for the Bulls' Super 14 match against the Western Force. We'll see how that goes!"

Probably went terribly. Gambhir wandered off and tried to prove his manhood once more with a couple of hot 40 year olds, Dilshan found himself converting to Rastafarianism, Sangwan burst into tears when everyone kept calling him "someone", Yo Mahesh rediscovered himself as a hip hop artist, Colly shaved his hair off and tried to smash Dan's glasses, Warner went around collecting volunteers who were willing to let him on for a stint at fielding, and Dirk... well, you don't even want to know what happened with Dirk.

Owais Shah didn't even go. He cried himself to sleep in his hotel room after receiving a call from the ECB.

Rajasthan looking mighty again

On a day when everyone was making tasteless jokes about the swine flu, and swines were running in terror from butchers, the real swines came out and showed us how it's done. After an achievable 143 from Delhi, including AB doing his usual thing of being effortlessly good in every situation and hitting a 50, Graeme Smith oinked his way to 44 from 46 balls.

Everyone collapsed around him, save for King Kong, who came out to join his curly-tailed pink friend. The contrast was massive. Graeme was really feeling the fat getting in the way, as he waddled slowly to get to his slow 44 in true swine style. King Kong, meanwhile, was more interested in punishing Delhi's bowlers. Punish, punish, punish, with a 62 off 30 balls. What's that, Pathan would say, are you bowling a doosra? I saw that. And to punish you, I'm sending that away for a 6. Bang, down gave the gavel, the judge had made his decision.

If you want some real stats, you'll be interested to know King Kong hit 1 in every 5 balls for a six. What's that? FUCKING AWESOME? I agree. It was getting so bad for Graeme down the other end, he had to have a little chat with King about the importance of playing slowly and not trying to steal the limelight, playing for the team not for your own glory, etc.

"Now now, Yusuf, no need to be reckless. I'm the more senior player here, I think you should slow down and save face for me. Me being the team."

King Kong didn't listen. Who's the swine now? he cackled, as he sent another one over the boundary rope and drove Daniel Vettori to tears.

It wasn't Dan's day with the ball, unfortunately. But he had a cracker of a day with the bat. 29 off 28, matching AB every step of the partnership. That was the best part of it. Showing AB he wasn't the only one with magic powers, although Dan's are more of the Avada Kedavra kind. During his stint at the crease, Dan was angry. Argh angry, and not like a pirate, but like a dog that's just been shot up the ass.

"ARGH! FURY! I'M MAKING A SPECTACLE WITH MY SPECTACLES."

Very punny, Dan. Don't you agree?

Ultimately, King Kong rules the night, although Munaf Patel did some extremely good stuff in his 4 overs which only went for 14. He even picked up 2 wickets, including our favourite Kiwi skipper's. Sehwag and Gambhir were out of it the whole time, and they have been this entire tournament. A hard night partying with the ladies and drinking contests with Jesse Ryder are to blame this time, but last time, their failure can be accounted to wanting to get off the field fast after an overdose of Viagra to impress the cheerleaders. Needless to say, the cheerleaders weren't impressed with Gambhir, and had to pretend to be interested in Sehwag, before booting them both onto the field for a bat. Failures.

AB was disappointed with his performance. Only 1 six. Disgusting. 50 off 40 balls? Equally as disgusting. He was destined for a century if the umpires hadn't been such massive gits, and if Warnie hadn't appealed. So when Warnie himself was gotten out for a duck in the Royals' innings, AB had a little laugh and smirked to the leggie's face. Take that, Warne. AB had his revenge. He also ensured his captain didn't get many away so AB could remain the top scoring saffa in the match. It's the little things in life which please AB.

See that expression on AB's face? I do. He can't hide his secret glee.

India smirks at series win

New Zealand lost.

The series, that is. Otherwise, the game was a draw.

I supported them to the end, so I get all the credit for any success they had, which was little. Rain was their only saviour. Seeing as the match is over now, I'm allowed to be honest. New Zealand were fucked from the moment Chris Martin was sent out to bat with less than 200 on the board. I was obliged to continue ranting on about how they'd win the match, but anyone could tell this would be a draw or a loss.

It should have been a loss. NZ will be thanking their lucky stars for a draw. The highlights of their day were few. Ross Taylor scored 107, by far the most valuable NZ player this innings. James Franklin also hit 49, before Tendulkar trapped him. Interestingly, our favourite blogger also hit 19 off 17 balls, so that's an impressive personal victory for him.

Dravid is continuing to motor away with those catches. He's up to 184 now, that's 3 in one day. By the time he retires, that record is going to be quite imposing.

Looking good while your face is hidden behind a helmet isn't hard - Just ask Tim

Gautam Gambhir was awarded Man of the Match. He was pleased to receive his award.

He's not going to drink it, of course. That would be blasphemy.

When receiving the award, Ghambir announced that tonight he'd "go out to local supermarkets to pick up hot chicks". Nice.

A little trans-Tasman love

I want New Zealand to win.
In Australia, it is highly inappropriate to want New Zealand to win. We try to keep our neighbours firmly underfoot.
But it is even more inappropriate to want India to win, after the horrendous summer of monkeys. Although, deviating from the stereotype, most Australians supported the Indians then.

The fact is, though, New Zealand won't win this match. On the 3rd day of play, India are leading by 250 runs with 9 wickets to spare. Sehwag is out, but that's barely a dent in the Indian batting line-up. They're like zombies. You kill one, but then a new wave replaces it immediately. You can't fight the zombies.

Meanwhile, Gambhir is motoring away nicely.
Dravid has hit 9 off 59 balls. Don't even ask.
India will easily widen this deficit throughout the course of the day's play.
The best New Zealand can hope for is a draw, and even that will require marvellous feats of dead boring blocking and stalling at the crease.
But they won't win the match.

Nevertheless, in a show of much needed trans-Tasman love, I will support New Zealand to the end. The very end. So from this point on, I will only post about how NZ will win the match. And that's win, not draw.

Someone has to bridge the ties between our two countries.

Delhi Daredevils the "most balanced team"

I have been neglecting these fellows. But all you need to do to grab my interest is say something that sounds exaggerated in the slightest and I will be running as fast as my legs can allow to see what's going on.

TA Sekar, the DDD Manager, has said:

"Delhi Daredevils walk into the IPL with probably the most balanced combination."

This piqued my interest. Have I been lording over the other IPL teams with my support for Chennai? The answer is actually no. I am supporting the side that has an incredibly good chance of winning, but maybe I should second another team. Have an underdog side I'm supporting. Last year it was Kings XI Punjab, but they're looking shaky this year and besides, I'm just not in the mood to support them.

But Delhi. That's an interesting proposition.
They have Sehwag and Gambhir as openers. You can't fight with that, it's like the power couple of Indian openers.
Dilshan Tillakaratne. He did well last year.
AB de Villiers. Might convert Dilshan to Christianity.
Daniel Vettori. His glasses alone have the power to rock Sreesanth off his crazy horse.
Glenn McGrath, and he's said he'll be able to concentrate better on this year's IPL anyway.

And then there's the new players. The Delhi Daredevils picked up:
David Warner.
Dirk Nannes.
Those last two names are icing on the cake for T20.
And Andrew McDonald. I only mention this name because I reckon he'll be shit. His hair will attract cricket balls and tempt batsmen to thump balls at his head. However, I stand to be corrected if McDonald does turn out to do well.
They also secured Paul Collingwood and Owais Shah.

That's a pretty strong team.

India bites back - barely

After a terrifying 190 for 5 at tea, India fought back to end the day at 375 for 9. It's not brilliant, because we've yet to see what happens next, but it's a definite improvement. A much needed one. Highlights of the day were Tendulkar hitting 62, a 48 (off 51 balls) for Sehwag, Iain O'Brien's crucial wicket in his second over, and India's slightly hilarious mini-collapse after lunch, losing 3 wickets in the space of 17 runs. You gotta love Test cricket, especially with the prospect of another exciting 4 days on the calendar. Whoever said Test cricket would die out with the advent of T20 was sadly mistaken.

Dan Vettori made the decision to bowl first, and although Sehwag and Gambhir's antics at first made it seem as though this was a bad idea, it paid off in the middle session, before things began looking a little wayward towards the end again.

Tomorrow's another day of cricket. Excellent.