Iris you bitch

She said Bell would be playing.

I guess she was wrong. And she took my goddamn money too.

I hate psychics, and am currently hunting desperately for my Magic 8 ball, which I lost somewhere in the vicinity of 12th Man's blog. If you see it, do return it. I'm losing all my bets on winners without it.

Stupid Iris. She denied me entertainment.

On the other hand, England now have a greater chance of winning this match without bells and bottoms adorning their ranks.

Predictions with the aid of a psychic

I've had a long chat to a phone psychic about the games going on today. I might have spent over $100 trying to find the answers, but now I have hard proof to back my statements.

First of all, lovely England. I didn't have much time because stupid Iris kept stalling for time, but she did get one prediction through:
Ian Bell c Gayle b Edwards 3

At that point, I actually spent about 5 minutes laughing, and Iris billed for me it too, that stupid bitch. The only other comment she made was:

Better Morkel hits 51* off 23 balls

That's more like it.

Bells are ringing

Just when people were beginning to praise the ECB for making "brave, honest" decisions to keep the oldies out of this Test squad, moving towards a "new era in English cricket post-2005" they come out with the best move of all.

Bringing Back Bell. Should be a movie.

Ian Bell is returning to the English side for the second Test against the West Indies, and Ryan Sidebottom finds himself with a place in the side once more. It's Monty who drops out on a pitch which isn't suited to spinners.

Alright.

"Both Bell and Sidebottom have been in form in the early part of the season and have been a part of the England set-up in recent years."

Very amused.

How To Win The Ashes - Part 2

England hand it to us on a plate.

England's West Indies Test squad: Andrew Strauss (capt), James Anderson, Ravi Bopara, Tim Bresnan, Stuart Broad, Paul Collingwood, Alastair Cook, Graham Onions, Monty Panesar, Kevin Pietersen, Matt Prior (wk), Graeme Swann

Ravi Bopara muscles in on the Number 3 spot which was looking to be Ian Bell, Michael Vaughan or Owais Shah's pick. KP has somehow managed to avoid the spot altogether and made it look as though he was never having to consider playing at 3 to save face for England.

Graham Onions and Tim Bresnan are about to debut, but I'm sure Onions will have a stinker of a match. Geoff Miller's explanation behind these two selections was that

"They've bowled very, very well pre-season and they've bowled very well in the early part of the season. We need to find strong backup and one or two other seam bowlers who are of international quality and these two have out-bowled the others so they get their chance."

Onions is reportedly very pleased.

The ECB have done some good in leaving out Bell and Vaughan, but will you just look at the squad? The Ashes squad will be mostly similar, perhaps dropping some of the debutants, and with the inclusion of Freddie. None of those players going to the Windies look great. Maybe Strauss is on a roll, but honestly, who are they kidding? Hats off to not living in the past (i.e. 2005) and going with all those old fellows, but word is the Scots are already calling it shite.

Miller is excited about this new squad, and he thinks it's going to take England to great heights and open up closed shops and things like that. Didn't understand what that meant? Neither did I:

"I think it's exciting, we've been designated as a closed shop for some time now and this just shows to county cricketers that we are not a closed shop and we are prepared to open it up."

I'm sure I'm not the only person who didn't find that analogy all that great.

Monty will be opening up their shop.

Ian Bell wants in

On the first day of the English county championship yesterday, Ian Bell scored 84 against Somerset, including 13 fours. Ian Bell wants that 3rd place, dammit.

"I just want to get out and score as many runs as I can for Warwickshire and leave all the thinking and decisions up to the England selectors. That's the way I feel I must go about it - just enjoy my cricket as much as I can. It hurts not to be in the England team and especially when you are on tour and have to watch the other guys. To be left out of a team you have been involved with for four years hurts like hell."

Rubbish. He hasn't been performing at all. Here's a player with all the talent but none of the mental stamina to perform well, and regularly so, in cricket.

Still don't think he should be in the side.

Here's a thought for the Shermanator. Stop fucking around and prove you're worth it.