You have to take Albie to lunch

Finding a few minutes to make this post. I will talk LATER.

Apparently there is a list in South Africa - the the Mail & Guardian’s list of the 300 young South Africans you have to take to lunch. And while I don't particularly know how influential or important this list is (although it does seem to have considerable weight), I will say that Albie Morkel is on the list.

Success! It's only a matter of time before he takes over the world. According to SuperSport, there are seven other cricketers who it on there, being Graeme Smith, JP Duminy, Morne Morkel, Johan Botha, Wayne Parnell, Dale Steyn and Imraan Khan.

Guess who's not on the list? Yes, it's die AB. Guess you don't have to take him to lunch. Hahahahaha, deal with that, you humble bastard.

All is not well for Albie, however, as die AB has seduced Mickey Arthur and turned him against Albie. It's true, he's bitching to Neil Manthorp about it:

Albie Morkel ranks amongst the world's best match-winning batsmen, but is his bowling a problem...? "Yes," says Mickey Arthur. "We have been trying to define his role for a year or more. Is he a frontline all-rounder or is he a batsman who can bowl a few overs? It's very important to the balance of the side that he shows his hand, one way or the other. Either Morkel bats at six and bowls as the "sixth or seventh" bowler, or he "bats at seven or eight and bowls - properly."

FUCK YOU, MICKEY ARTHUR. FUCK YOU. Okay, there's truth in that. Albie needs to work on the bowling or make it a part-time thing. But when someone whose name is "Mickey" (which is ten times more ridiculous than Albie, okay?) says shit like this, his secret relationship with die AB deserves to be called out on.

Well, at least Albie is currently the more successful brother. I don't think Morne has existed since he was swapped with Albie on the Test team in March.

On Suites

The apparent controversy relating to who retains use of the pavilion suites at SA cricket grounds is thickening. Neil Manthorp writes an article which does quite a lot to explain the politics behind it, especially from the SA suite holders' side, and we find out exactly what is going on.

Worth a read, especially where one suite holder is quoted as saying he will "barricade and padlock" his suite if the IPL try to stop him using it.

Neil Manthorp: Top Bloke

Recently on ABC's radio coverage of the Aus vs. SA test matches, Neil Manthorp was commentating with an Australia reporter (someone or another, wasn't Glenn Mitchell). In the cricketing world, there seems to be a unanimous agreement to LOVE NEIL MANTHORP. And it's entirely justified. He's the most enjoyable commentator around, possibly second to Richie Benaud. Who will be leaving us soon, as it is. How we will miss his voice.

In any case, a listener sent a text in to the commentators, which the Australian commentator then proceeded to repeat to Neil Manthorp:

"Neil Manthorp's such a top bloke, you'd think he's an Aussie."

Following this, there was an awkward pause in which Neil seemed unsure of what to say. To clarify the rather embarrassing statement, the Aussie commentator went on to say, "That probably the highest compliment you can give someone in Australia."
That's right. Best. Compliment. Ever.

Soon we will see a slate of young Aussies telling others, "You're so awesome, you'd think you were me."
"Ricky Ponting's such a good batsman you'd think he was me."
"Daniel Vettori's glasses are so cool you'd think they were mine."
"Kevin Pietersen's such an arrogant prick you'd think he was Australian."
And so forth.

Spot the difference

It doesn't take much to realise how typically in-love-with-myself and Australian the comment was. Honestly, only an Aussie could say something like that and convince a commentator it was the best compliment ever. So after another minute of umming and ahhing, Neil finally comes out with a gracious, "Thank you."

Neil Manthorp: Top Bloke