Blue Moon

Once you'd watched the first few overs of KKR batting, you'd have thought they were up to their usual tricks. You know, "sacrificing" their game for the good of the other teams, giving the other teams an easy win to help them on their way to the top. In fact, I was all too ready to pass a motion to have someone put KKR out of their misery.

I'd forgotten about Dave Hussey. He'd come back from the series against Pakistan and if there was one person who could literally change the course of the game it was him, no joke. And he did, looking quite pissed off when he got out. I would too.

Baz batted out the whole 20 overs. How's that for anchoring? He also seemed to be smiling an awful lot which can't be a good sign when someone like Brad Hodge mysteriously goes missing. Not that I'm complaining, but I wouldn't be surprised if Baz finally cracked and minced someone up for breakfast, namely Hodge.

Ishant Sharma has had an attack of the voodoo and has taped over the number and name on his shirt. What the fuck? Is there something I'm missing out on because that is weird as shit and also kind of creepy. It's as though he sat at his table manically taping over the number, rocking back and forth on his chair. Maybe his Adam's apple mutated and became an evil person of its own, or maybe it possessed Ishant. You never know with these Adam's apples.

And if I ever have to listen to Ramiz, Siva and Danny Morrison for ONE MORE MATCH, I will kill myself. It was enough to make me change the channel and watch an inane comedy about a call centre in Mumbai with Sanjeev Bhaskar of Kumars fame, which really wasn't that good but was certainly a welcome relief from Siva's slide antics and all the Danny Morrison fat jokes.

Success is not really success

We've already had to put up with the various "Citi moments of success" and the almost confusion surrounding exactly what it is.

But now it's not just a Citi moment of success. In fact, Danny Morrison has gone so far as to completely rebrand the notion of success itself. If only there was someone on the side of the original idea of "success", perhaps Citi could be taken to court for attempting to claim all success as its own.

"And that's a moment of success, thanks to Citi."

So Citi is now handing out these moments of success. If you believe in self-determination, Citi is crushing that with the palm of its hand.

I fear for the future, and the commercialisation of any and all moments of success.

Chennai Twats

That's what they are. The whole lot of them. Twats. Big stinking stwats.

Didn't someone tell Hayden you don't hit a ball directly to AB? Fuckhead. What's more, didn't someone tell AB to fuck off and die? I think I might have mentioned it.

I can't believe we had to put up with Chennai's lethargic bullshit. They couldn't even get to 170. Pathetic.

Despite being called a "left handed genius" by Danny Morrison, Albie isn't up to the job. No, the bastard penguin Ashish Nehra has him caught and bowled, thanks. I don't blame Albie. I don't know why, I don't blame him. I blame Chennai as a whole.

And even Dhoni, the "freakiest player" can't do more than a 6. No, he and his fellow hitters leave it to the tail end to do their dirty work.

By the way, did I mention AB is a fucking bastard? I did, didn't I? Good. There seems to be something going on between him and David Warner though. Warner is like the overeager kid sucking up to his role model, trying to be cool and get jokes in. AB is the older kid indulging him and taking him under his wing. There was that pre-match group huddle and the catch by AB which seem to prove this.

Chennai don't deserve to win after that. Maybe I hope they do, but they certainly don't deserve to. If Delhi are going to win, I hope AB gets out on a duck. Can't have him taking home MoM now can we?

HOLY FUCK AB IS OUT FOR A DUCK. WHAT DID I SAY???? GO TYAGI, GET A HATTRICK.

Crying for Albie. David is punishing him. Bowl like you fucking mean it, Albie. Smash him to bits.

Delhi trying to get to their target in 10 overs. That's it, I'm heading off to sleep. Albie is a little bitch. 3 overs for 30.

Did anyone else notice Dirk was on a hat-trick? And that he could have actually made it there?

I can't tear myself away. Now Dilshan is out. What if Chennai get Karthik and Warner out, and any subsequent players who are okay with the bat. WHAT IF CHENNAI WIN? AHHHH.

Funny, Delhi are ALSO near the 70s at time-out. Now all we need is a mind-numbing collapse after the break and we're good to go.