Sunday, 3 May 2009

Chennai Twats

That's what they are. The whole lot of them. Twats. Big stinking stwats.

Didn't someone tell Hayden you don't hit a ball directly to AB? Fuckhead. What's more, didn't someone tell AB to fuck off and die? I think I might have mentioned it.

I can't believe we had to put up with Chennai's lethargic bullshit. They couldn't even get to 170. Pathetic.

Despite being called a "left handed genius" by Danny Morrison, Albie isn't up to the job. No, the bastard penguin Ashish Nehra has him caught and bowled, thanks. I don't blame Albie. I don't know why, I don't blame him. I blame Chennai as a whole.

And even Dhoni, the "freakiest player" can't do more than a 6. No, he and his fellow hitters leave it to the tail end to do their dirty work.

By the way, did I mention AB is a fucking bastard? I did, didn't I? Good. There seems to be something going on between him and David Warner though. Warner is like the overeager kid sucking up to his role model, trying to be cool and get jokes in. AB is the older kid indulging him and taking him under his wing. There was that pre-match group huddle and the catch by AB which seem to prove this.

Chennai don't deserve to win after that. Maybe I hope they do, but they certainly don't deserve to. If Delhi are going to win, I hope AB gets out on a duck. Can't have him taking home MoM now can we?

HOLY FUCK AB IS OUT FOR A DUCK. WHAT DID I SAY???? GO TYAGI, GET A HATTRICK.

Crying for Albie. David is punishing him. Bowl like you fucking mean it, Albie. Smash him to bits.

Delhi trying to get to their target in 10 overs. That's it, I'm heading off to sleep. Albie is a little bitch. 3 overs for 30.

Did anyone else notice Dirk was on a hat-trick? And that he could have actually made it there?

I can't tear myself away. Now Dilshan is out. What if Chennai get Karthik and Warner out, and any subsequent players who are okay with the bat. WHAT IF CHENNAI WIN? AHHHH.

Funny, Delhi are ALSO near the 70s at time-out. Now all we need is a mind-numbing collapse after the break and we're good to go.

13 comments:

Maithreyi said...

FIRST BALL DUCK. YESSIR. FUCKING FIRST BALL DUCK.

After raising my blood pressure by 10 mm Hg with every freakin catch that he took, and everytime the commentators crowed "and it's another catch for AB deVilliers! can't get anything past him!" he GETS OUT FOR A FIRST BALL DUCK.

Amy, surely you can hear my cackling? It's loud enough and I CAN'T STOP.

Amy said...

Can you hear mine? I think I just shattered a few windows with it.

The commentators are really making AB out to be god. A good catch, nothing special? CATCH OF THE CENTURY, the commentators will say. Well, Chennai sure showed AB, didn't they.

Golden duck. He will never live it down on this blog.

12th Man said...

I have come to Chennai for the weekend and I am supporting Chennai now. They're in a strong position at the strategy break having dismissed all the dangermen. Warner bunny should get out sometime soon.

Maithreyi said...

72/3 after 10. What do you think?

Getting Warner out is imperative. Not bowling Albie is also imperative.

Bhatia is good, though.

Anything's possible at this stage. Still thinking Delhi have the edge.

Amy said...

Delhi could still make it. But so could Chennai, if they put in some real hard yards here. I'm all for Albie not bowling his last over.

I desperately need sleep, so I'm unfortunately going to have to head off. Will find out upon awaking whether Albie's team did it without him.

Maithreyi said...

Niiiiice.

Chennai win by 18 runs. Take that, y'all. TAKE THAT.

Shadab Jakati. 4/24. You can bet that next time Dhoni won't forget that he's in the eleven.

Speaking of Dhoni, hopefully this time he'll move on from blaming the bowling and on to how the Chennai middle order is stinking to the high heavens this year. Especially you, MS. Buck up!

Hopefully we can keep going from here.

Ankit Poddar said...

congratulations Amy,

even through all that shit, CSK won, by a healthy margin, and are now in the top 4!

achettup said...

You're continuous stream of needless attacks and open vehemence at Abraham Benjamin de Villiers seems to indicate an unhealthy obsession, one which does not seem at first glance, to be unlike the lover in denial. We urge you to overcome these emotional obstacles. Embrace AB, he will change your life!

An excellent win for Chennai, Raina's catch was amazing. I missed the game, caught a few of the highlights, but not Chennai's innings... does anyone have youtube links to AB's catches?

Amy said...

Maithreyi, two wins in a row. CSK's bowlers have been taking drugs.

Ankit, so exciting, right? The grass is greener.

Achettup, even if I did, I wouldn't give you the link. Instead, I'd inform the IPL so they could make a copyright claim and therefore nobody could see AB's brilliance in the field at will. As for accepting AB into my life, I'm afraid I can't speak to a person who has clearly been possessed by AB's evil spirit. I only have one thing to say to you:

Exorcism. Your place. 5 o'clock.

Prafs said...

I just dont get it.
How the fuck does AB get near anything that's hit in the air.
i'm sick of hearing: in the air, AB'S under it.

Amy said...

He's always fielding where the ball is hit. It's some sort of magic.

raj said...

Uh, if one wants to gloat before the game, one msut choose the ones with Warnie and Gilly at helm. Hence, I shift allegiance to RR and DC. Now, I can safely gloat before the game and be sure that the teams will not let me down at the end of the day. Delhi - urf...withdrawing support for those twats :-)

Amy said...

I'm sure they'll win something soon, to be honest. Don't back away yet.