Wednesday, 27 May 2009

Amy S. the Cricketer

There's an Amy S. the cricketer. It's not me, idiots. It's a New Zealander who I didn't know very much about but I sure as hell do now. Presenting Amy Satterthwaite to all non-Kiwis, and possibly Kiwis who haven't heard of her, although I doubt that.

According to the New Zealand cricket website, she is 22 years old and she's in the women's international side. Not only that, she's vice-captain. I heard of her during the Women's World Cup because she did pretty well there. To be honest, I didn't get to watch a whole lot of NZ's games during the tournament so I can't really offer much information on that front.

Anyway, it's not at all odd that she looks like a female version of Morne Morkel, only MORE AMAZING because her name is Amy S.

Now, I know what you're thinking. Obviously this is really me. I've been hiding my identity all along because I was so ashamed of being a New Zealander. All I have to say to you doubtful people is, you're wrong. So very wrong, because Amy S. would never deign to hide her identity when she is so clearly made of awesome. I mean, look at Iain O'Brien's blog. I could have been the female Kiwi cricketer in the blogosphere if I wanted to, but clearly I didn't because I'm NOT Amy Satterthwaite.

She's a bowling all-rounder and has the amazing ability of making saffas drop her from what should be easy catches:

Kind of cool, that Amy S. So cool she plays for the Canterbury Magicians in domestic cricket. Wow. A magician and an Amy S? A winning combination.

There's also some very fascinating tidbits about her which I'm sure anyone would be fascinated to know. Apparently her hobbies include "golf, squash and farming". Yes, farming. If you were about to say "Too cool for school, is she?" you'd also be very wrong, because Amy S. is in fact a university student. And she wants to become a veterinarian or something. Okay.

The player profile on the New Zealand Cricket website tells us the following:

Amy is a classy left hand middle order batsman who has great timing. She can play long innings but more recently has developed her ability to attack from the outset. She has the amazing figures of 6-19 in a T20 International vs England and has a great knack of being a partnership breaker with the ball in hand. She has recently been appointed as the White Ferns vice captain.

Quite impressive. Then there's some Jacques Kallis-style Q&A, only it's obviously much better because a) she isn't Jacques Kallis and b) she isn't Jacques Kallis:

My favourite holiday destination is... Marlborough Sounds

My favourite meal to cook is... roast chicken

My favourite food to eat is... any junk food!

My sporting hero is...Tiger Woods

When not playing cricket I love to... work on the farm.

If I won lotto something I would definitely buy would be... a house

So Amy S. likes roast chicken. Intriguing. And amazing. Yes, rather amazing, that Amy S.


Esra_Star said...

Wow Amy lucky this isn't you, I mean looking like Morne would suck. But would be pretty bloody ironic!

Farming - we all know what that means to a Kiwi ;)

Amy said...

Hahaha, well, I'm innocent in all this. You made the joke, I didn't. So I hope no Kiwis come looking for me trying to kill me.

Stani Army said...

T.H.E.R.E I.S O.N.L.Y O.N.E. A.M.Y. S

Amy said...

Very strange.

Stani Army said...

I swear she looks like NWG! (

...she's the one on the left.

Actually, may be NWG, Amy S and Amy S are actually the same person?

Is this the start of another one of my conspiracy theories.

I'm gonna go research. Stay tuned folks, I'll be back with more.

Amy said...

In fact, we are the same person. No need to go researching there.

Stani Army said...

But I like researching?

Go on, give me something to go on.

SixSixEight said...

Does she farm chickens?

Anonymous said...

If you are not a Kiwi, you should be a Tassie under cover Amy.

Amy said...

SSE, do you farm dead birds?

12th, if I were a Tassie, you'd know. And I don't mean that in a good way at all.