Sunday, 31 May 2009

Bracken Rates Albie

Any validation is welcome after the not-so-illustrious IPL. If you opened up your non-tabloid morning paper, you'd find an article in which Nathan Bracken attempts to retain some of his supposed notoriety as one of the best limited overs bowlers in the world.

It's all irrelevant, except for the part where he accidently lets slip just how afraid he is of Albie Morkel:

"Guys like Jacob Oram [New Zealand] and Albie Morkel [South Africa] have their shots. So it is important not to make a mistake, not to miss the mark."

Now, you might not be able to interpret that there, but being the kind individual that I am, I will helpfully translate that for you:

"There's that pussy Jacob Oram who doesn't want to play Tests. If my country wanted me to, I sure would. That doesn't mean they don't want me to. Of course they do. Hilditch is at my door every day begging me to be on the Test team but I say no because I have other commitments. To be honest, there's only one batsman I really fear. Not fear, of course, but there's always that trepidation associated with bowling to him. Him being Albie Morkel. I pee my pants when I see he's on strike, he's really fucking terrifying. He once hit me over my head and over the sightscreen, into the stands and down some stairs... sometimes I have nightmares about it."

There's nothing like an accurate translation by Amy S. to enlighten you to the ways of Nathan Bracken.
He also makes reference to Australia losing a T20 against Zimbabwe, something Cricket Australia had tried to shoo under the carpet:

"No one should be considered an easy team; we've lost to Zimbabwe in T20 before."

Indeed you have. That was pretty fucking funny, come to think of it.

He likes to think he's the man. Unfortunately, he hasn't looked in a mirror yet.


J said...

That's a fairly liberal interpretation Amy.

Amy said...

But you have to ask yourself, would I ever lie to you? The answer is no.

boncam said...

Amy, this has been the highlight of my day.

Esra_Star said...

Thanks for the translation Amy. You make things so simple. Damn right Bracken should fear Albie. Albs is the king and Bracks is a pansy in need of a haircut.

Amy said...

Boncam, I'm glad of it.

Esra, woohoo. Go Albie.

adverbin said...

If Bracken had only played for BRC instead of staying back in Australia he would have known how good Albie is ;-)
Incidentally I had been praying for Bracken to play for BRC while they were initially being walloped. In te end though he was not missed was he?

Stani Army said...

I'm sure Nat knows Albie well. These two girls must have played against each other a number of times.

By "shots", how do you know he's not talking about drinking? Where did he mention cricket in regards to Albie?

Yes Ames, "Go Albie", just go...somewhere far away preferably.

Amy said...

Hello, closet Albie fan.

Stani Army said...

Where? [Looks over both shoulders]

Esra_Star said...

Admit it Stani, you love Albie. It's ok, we won't think any less of you :)

Stani Army said...

Ok, I admit it Es. When I heard the name Albie I just fell in love. Then I found out that it was a man. So obviously, I quickly changed my mind and then bathed in disinfectant.

So now my love is strictly divided between you and Ames...and Katie Melua.

Don't ask for the's all equal but can fluctuate depending on how good you are to me.

Amy said...

Don't need your love, bastard.

Stani Army said...

Your share has taken a big hit there Ames.