Friday, 22 May 2009

Top Banana

I don't quite know what to make of this article, and our very own farmer boy Phillip Hughes.

Apart from carrying on the legacy of the Hughes family banana fetish, Phil reckons he wants to retire to Macksville and run a stud cattle farm.

"Hopefully we will have a pretty big property and have stud cattle on there. That's my dream."

Keep in mind not all Australians are farmers.

Phil Hughes has gone from shitting himself with glory in England to lugging bananas around with his dad, ahead of the Ashes training camp (which appears to be a conservative dickhead's version of the crazy military in-the-bush camp before the '07 Ashes). But which life does he prefer? THE BANANA ONE, OF COURSE. I'm trying to slip in the word banana as many times as I can, just because it sounds ridiculous.

If nothing else is of interest to you, let it be known that Phil Hughes has a machete. I'm excited. That has always been my weapon of choice.

The BANANA! interview is going to be broadcast on Sunday Night on Channel 7. "Sunday Night" the show, not the day, although it is also the date. I've never watched it because it seems like Today Tonight for the weekend, but if they can get Kevin Rudd to throw shitstorms around the place, surely they can extract some useful information from Hughes.

As it turns out, they have. The bogans are already onto him about his ear piercing:

"Yeah, when I get back there's a bit of cheek there. They ask if I have turned into a city boy now."

"Ya turned into a city boy now, mate?" Said in a very real Aussie twang you find in country towns, and not the normal accent Phil Hughes has, because if Phil Hughes has an Aussie twang, so do I and fuck me if I'm going to say I do. Clearly the broad Australian accent is more appropriately described as a "twang".



12th Man said...

We have seen chicken farmers representing Australia before. Nice to see a BANANA farmer for a change.

Starting a cattle farm is his wish! I hope the city life doesn't change him.

Stani Army said...

You have it all wrong Amy, that's Michael Clarke in the photo.


The MG said...

Nope, that's Hughesy. All Australians look the same - guys, girls, kangaroos. I look just like Clarke too. As does Amy :P

Why is this reminding me of that film "Ned", where Ned Kelly is the son of a rather over-enthusiastic rubber farmer? Only in this one, Phil wants to return to the farm after the circus jaunt.

Stani Army said...

No MG. This is part of a huge conspiracy. Clarke and Hughes are actually the same person. Your vice captain was sent to Eng on a spying mission before the ashes disguised as Phil Hughes.

You will notice during the ashes that they will never be seen in the same place at the same time.

Amy knows this, I'm just wondering whether CA has gave her a back hander to keep the mission going. This is only speculation, but my sources tell me that agent Amy was recently sent on a training course which mysteriously coincides with her recent trip.

If you don't hear from me again, you'll know why.

Anonymous said...

Having been lost in a land of ice hockey and no cricket for the last ten months or so, it's only been recently that I've heard of Phil Hughes. You know what, I like him already.


SixSixEight said...

Phil Hughes has a machete. I'm excited too - that's my kind of guy!

And he looks like a man who can handle fruit with aplomb. [and looks a damn sight better with a green banana or two than with that one day garb Middlesex insisted on making him wear!]

Yes this is going to be a good season! Michael Clark - who is he?

Amy said...

12th, it will. A decade of hookers and big money and Hughesy will be forgetting that dream of his.

Stani, of course, my mistake. Although, in that photo, Phil looks less like Clarke than in other photos. Maybe because Pup has never carried bananas around on his shoulder. And I have no idea what training camp you are referring to. Lock your doors.

MG, maybe because both are equally as ridiculous? Haha.

Heather, you must like him only as long as he doesn't show signs of being another AB.

SSE, Hughesy's twin. And Lara's fiance. Also, a big old bitch.

Stani Army said...

Amy, you may hear me, but note that you do not see me.

Amy said...

You bastard.

Stani Army said...

Thanks Ames!... but NWG has already given me that compliment.

You can have another go, and this time, don't let anything hold you back.

Amy said...

I'm too highbrow for that kind of stuff.

Stani Army said...

You should never hold back from telling people how you really feel about them, whether it's hate, or like in this case, unrequited love.

Amy said...

Okay. I love you.