South Africa set a record

Most consecutive T20 International wins ever. But wait, was anyone actually surprised they won against the West Indies? On rolls the South African juggernaut as they flatten teams on their way to the finals.

Despite Chris Gayle's valiant attempts to distract them with some ultra-cool sunnies, the saffas did not budge. They've had good practice at this, especially after Stuart Broad's attempts to deliberately distract the South African batsmen. Also because once their eyes lock onto the missile, also known as the ball, they do not take their eyes off it, not even to look at Broad's delicate hands.

You know what's creepy? As I check Cricinfo for Kallis' bowling figures because they're pretty fucking funny, I see they have also spoken of the "South African juggernaut rolling on. I don't write for them, just in case you were wondering. My singular brain is on par with their collective brains, however. Jacques' figures are 2-0-23-0 by the way. Hahahaha, that's far too good. Fingers crossed he'll stop playing T20s.

I won't mention Albie's figures because this is my blog and I can do whatever the hell I want. You want fairness? Go somewhere else. He was brilliant, just brilliant. A wicket on a no ball which is better than no wicket at all, and a small error involving a wide which ended up costing 5 runs. BRILLIANT.

Wayne Parnell had to do even more this match to finally get the MoM award. 4/13 is the result of his mastering the art of bowling yorkers and actually bowling at the stumps. With all the creative shit bowlers are trying to come up with, it seems everyone forgot that simply bowling at the stumps and waiting for a wicket is remarkably successful.

Lendl Simmons is the only batsman on the West Indies side who should be walking away from this match with a smile on his face, although he might not be smiling because they still lost despite his 77. Seriously, the things some people have to put up with...

And now I come to Albie. You were waiting for it all along, I know. That 10 off 8, especially after the perfect opportunity presented itself when die AB got ahead of himself and got out on 17. After being promoted up the order to actually come in before the 16th over. That was amazing, that last bit. Everything was set in place for Albie to kill someone, preferably with his bat. He didn't, but the very clever Jerome Taylor was behind it. The smart bastard bowled a few bouncers and then nailed Albie with a great yorker. Even Albie appreciated that one. Super Shades Gayle had instructed Taylor to go about targeting Albie with bouncers and this is CLEARLY him going after the most dangerous batsman on the side. I mean, obviously. For this reason, Albie's dismissal was alright. He felt the respect as he walked off that field.

I think Nasser Hussain wants to marry die AB, just like every other commentator out there.

And in the current match, New Zealand are killing me. Dan the Man is playing but... they're killing me. They really are.

Albie Damon

On Cricinfo, there is an article in the Page 2 section which caught my eye for one small reason:

The IPL movie has apparently assembled a star-studded ensemble cast, and will feature Shah Rukh Khan as Shah Rukh Khan, Preity Zinta as Preity Zinta, Aamir Khan as Gautam Gambhir, Vladimir Putin as Nasser Hussain, John C Reilly as Virender Sehwag, Matt Damon as Albie Morkel, and Kamal Hassan as everyone else. The music will, thankfully, not be scored by Sivamani.

I think the actor for Sehwag is particularly apt. Sometimes I get them confused.

But Matt Damon as Albie Morkel? That isn't even funny in my nightmares.

Tonight's Matches

If I weren't backing one team out of the four playing team, I imagine both matches would seem boring. As it turns out, I want CSK to win and so I am interested in the second match. The first however... Deccan Chargers vs. Rajasthan Royals. You know, it might be great, but it could also be a complete pushover.

I think perhaps Kamran Khan will be out due to injury? Not sure how serious that injury was, but it did look painful enough.

And apparently Sehwag is also out because of the finger injury. I think Ryan Campbell had a go at Indian cricketers and said something like "He was pretty quick to leave the field as soon as it touched his finger". Little does Campbell know it was all a conspiracy, and Delhi had planned beforehand to fake an injury and bring David Warner on as a substitute fielder so he could orchestrate more dismissals. Bastards.

Okay, so they didn't fake it. I think he had to get stitches. If he isn't playing, the gap in the side isn't going to be all too big, to be honest. Another talented cricketer will just crawl slimily into his place and fix the gap.

Chennai have won a match after Freddie left. His services weren't so desperately valuable after all. On the Nasser Hussain comment, it's quite peeved me off because for one, I've never understood the merit in the "so you want to have your cake and eat it too?" argument. Because yes, if I have my goddamn cake I'd like to eat the fucking thing. Wouldn't you? It would be real scrumdiddlyumptious. I'm sure Willy Wonka would agree. That man would never let a travesty such as having a cake and not eating it occur.

Alright then, moving away from strange analogies and expressions. Apparently there's one sport that Australians can beat the saffas at. Go Waratahs.

Having Freddie's Cake And Eating It

Nasser Hussain has done it again. The clock was ticking until he spoke out on Freddie's injury following playing in the IPL. And doesn't he say it well?

"Players just cannot have their cake and eat it. They cannot expect to reap the benefits of a lucrative central contract and then only be under the control of the ECB when it suits them."

Honestly. Someone needs to rewire his brain so he'll stop being such an idiot.

Imagine if Jacob Oram was in the English team. He'd never hear the end of it from pompous assholes (although Oram does need to hear something, the guy is just completely off Test cricket).

Giles Clark says it all:

"I think it is absolutely right that it is a decision for the player, what he wants to do. He has a limited period of time as a player."

Everyone knows the IPL is all about the money. Neither Freddie nor KP felt any particular affiliation to their respective teams. Freddie just grinned and charmed his teammates' pants off in order to disguise his poor performances.

I don't care if players do it for the money. If it were me in that situation, I sure as hell wouldn't let $1.55 million dollars run away from me because ex-captains would likely have a hissy fit about it. The English scrutinise and attempt to control their players far too much.

Andrew Strauss is particularly clear about it:

"It's not something you'd hold against a player. It's a tough decision to turn down that sort of money."

Bang on the money, really. Now if only Hussain could shut his trap.

I know there's the case to be made that Freddie should have known he's injury-prone and therefore not subjected himself to the IPL in addition to the multitude of tournaments and series in the next few months, but if we step back for a minute and look at it from a purely self-interested perspective, who can blame him?

"Whoo! I'm Andrew Flintoff. I can do no wrong."