Saturday 23 May 2009

Islamabad Leopards won't sleep with Shoaib

Apparently the domestic Pakistan team Shoaib Akhtar plays for, the Islamabad Leopards, are willing to have him in their ranks despite his dirty diseased body parts. They also have the least slutty players in the whole world, minus the man himself, so they're more than willing to take him on with minimal risk.

In the domestic Twenty20 cup, Shoaib will captain for his team, having recovered from the intense embarrassment that is having your genital warts called out on by the Pakistan Cricket Board. Too good, really. But also disturbing. More disturbing than funny.
"He (Akhtar) has told us that he is fit so we have no reason to drop him," Islamabad Cricket Association president Shakil Shaikh told the Associated Press. "It's the basic fundamental right of the player that if he says he is fit you can't stop him from playing."
So there ya go. Either everyone in that team already has herpes, or they're naturally immune to it through some freak occurrence of nature.

8 comments:

Stani Army said...

I thought Shoaib was a virgin Ames?

Amy said...

In spirit, he's a blessed virgin. In body, his morals are looser. You can't blame the man. All that... attractive, greasy, stringy hair and the general paedophilic appearance.

achettup said...

Paedophilic appearance... wha wha wha whaaat?
I believe you need to take the test again.

Q said...

Its one big controversy in Pakistan with the president and all getting involved...

Stani Army said...

What the hell's going on Ames? First Britney and now Shoaib? Are there any virgins left anymore? I always knew there was more to the Rawalpindi Sexpress than met the eye.

Q, you said the President's getting involved....has he been infected too? I know he's patron of the board but this is going too far.

I feel this story has a long way to go. Every time someone starts rubbing the cricket ball people will start to wonder, is he shining it or has he got a itch.

I need to rest, this is too much.

Q said...

Stani Army, here's more:

http://www.wellpitched.com/2009/05/shoaib-akhtars-genital-warts-are-fuming.html

Stani Army said...

No more, please.

I got a dinner around someone's...they'll think it's their cooking if I don't eat.

Amy said...

Achettup, that just completely doesn't take into account the disturbing hair and horror movie-like expression he has when he looks up at the camera. It chills me to the bone every single time. And my future children too, if I do have any.