Tait's an Australian A man

If you were top tier material and were dropped from the national team only to find yourself on the A team, would you be pissed off? Could you even bear a grudge when the selectors somehow end up looking like the good guys in all this?

These are all questions Shaun Tait will be asking himself, after being selected for the Australia A squad to play Pakistan A in Brisbane these coming months.

That's not the biggest news, however, because Andrew Symonds has been left out of the squad. So has Brad Hodge, but it's Roy where the real worries lie. Cricket Australia are looking to punish him badly, so much so that he can't even make the A team. What the fuck is going on here? Are they being entirely serious, because that's just bullshit. Hilditch serves up some valid points on how they're going with a young squad:

"The selection recognises the performances of these young talented players in the domestic season last year whilst concentrating on those players we have identified as having the ability to play a significant role in the development of Australian cricket in the future."

But where does all this leave Symonds? What exactly do they expect to get out of him?

Cameron White's captaining the team for both the four-day and limited overs matches, while Ryan Broad, Michael Klinger and Blues man Burt Cockley (walking around with an awesome name like that and taking wickets for NSW, good man) are only in for the two four-day matches. Other limited overs specialists or thereabouts will be coming in for the other matches, being Dave Warner, Tait, and Moises Henriques, who's a bit of a nothing.

You'll be amused to know that Adam Voges is in the squad as vice-captain. I guess CA couldn't pretend he didn't exist any longer.

And now, I'm not sure whether I should laugh or be appalled at the fact that Shaun Tait has only been included in the squad "subject to fitness" especially after it's been declared he is. The selectors sure love fucking with his mind.

George Bailey, recently appointed Tassie captain after one of their greats stood down, also makes the cut. He's the designated ray of sunshine for the team.

Even better, Dougie's there, raring to go. Making the Ashes squad was always going to be a tough ask of both him and the selectors. Other big names include Shaun Marsh (subject to fitness, of course) and the Echidna. Awesome, you say? I agree. Jason Krejza is also hoping to spin his hair off for the A team.

The squad: Cameron White (capt) Adam Voges, George Bailey, Doug Bollinger, Ryan Broad, Burt Cockley, Callum Ferguson, Brett Geeves, Moises Henriques, Jon Holland, Michael Klinger, Jason Krejza, Shaun Marsh, Clint McKay, Tim Paine, Shaun Tait, David Warner

Honk if you'd marry him.

Sugarcoating Tait

While Andrew Hilditch may have made up some bullshit about Shaun Tait taking his dumping well, the truth is more sinister, says Tait:

"Digger [Hilditch] is trying to sugar-coat that, to be honest."

So if he didn't take it well, how passionate was his response? Did Shaun perhaps chase Hilditch down a long, straight highway, bowling at his back? Perfect revenge, methinks.

He also could have, of course, flipped out completely and smashed CA officials to bits. Then gone off for a holiday in the Greek Islands, never to be seen again.

Tait is pissed

He probably wished he could say so, so, so much more.

"It's pretty easy for CA to say 'get yourself ready for a tournament' when they haven't given you a contract. I could quite easily duck off to the Greek Islands for a couple of months if I wanted to. But I'll keep myself fit, keep bowling and if something does come up well that'd be good."

See what he did there. He managed to restrain himself. Remarkable. I'm sure I wouldn't have been able to do the same and I'd have exploded in the selectors' faces.

The situation with Shaun Tait is pretty much just... mindblowing. He says it in as many words:

"When you think you're ready to go and play, I thought they had me in mind for future tournaments, so that was fair enough at the time. But to not let you go, then not pick you in a squad, then not give you a contract is a little bit of a kick in the teeth."

It's fair game to call it a "little bit of a kick in the teeth". How about I edit that:

"But to not let you go, then not pick you in a squad, then not give you a contract is a little bit of a kick in the teeth big fucking kick up the backside and I'm getting my axe ready to hack those bastards to bits."

That's better.

This is also the chance for Shaun to come out with just how much he agrees with Chris Gayle's recent comments. Finally, a like-minded individual to share your thoughts with. Too bad Gayle practically retracted his comments.

We Are One

But we are many, and from all the states in Australia we come.

I am talking of the Australian cricketers to get a central contract, of course. And I am also breaking into song to express my condolences that in the space of a year, suddenly spinning is dead in Australia.

Of a list of 25, there is 1 specialist spinner. One. Think of the most insignificant, most NOTHING spinner to head our pathetic spinning attack (not that they want attacking spinners of course, they "go for too many runs". Spinners are just for containing now, sorry you wicket takers) and you may get Nathan Hauritz.

He is it, and that is it. Fuck off, says Cricket Australia. You learn to spin and we'll give you money, that's how it works.

We have better wicketkeepers than spinners, that's how bad it's become. Although not as bad as actually picking Andrew McDonald. When will CA learn? What does anyone see in him? Absolutely nothing worthwhile, he's just got a couple of half-baked skills. I guess that makes him a half-baked potato. Thank god he isn't one of the Blues or I'd have spent the past few years hanging my head in shame.

2009-10 contract holders: Doug Bollinger (NSW), Nathan Bracken (NSW), Stuart Clark (NSW), Michael Clarke (NSW), Callum Ferguson (SA), Brad Haddin (NSW), Nathan Hauritz (NSW), Ben Hilfenhaus (Tas), Brad Hodge (Vic), James Hopes (Qld), Phillip Hughes (NSW), David Hussey (Vic), Michael Hussey (WA), Mitchell Johnson (WA), Simon Katich (NSW), Brett Lee (NSW), Graham Manou (SA), Shaun Marsh (WA), Andrew McDonald (Vic), Marcus North (WA), Ricky Ponting (Tas), Peter Siddle (Vic), Andrew Symonds (Qld), Shane Watson (NSW), Cameron White (Vic).

Shaun Tait isn't on it. Now's a good time for him to come out and announce he only ever liked T20 anyway: "It's a better decision for me. I'm actually glad they made that decision, so no hard feelings there. Heh...heh..."

And, well, Callum Ferguson is on the list, as is Siddle, North, and all-time winner Hughes. Graham Manou is boosting the rock solid position the invincible Brad Haddin occupies. Well fuck me. Phil Jaques and Beau Casson don't make the cut. Here we go.

Adam Voges, meanwhile, has just pissed off the selectors.

Shaun Tait and Freddie

Shaun Tait wants some IPL action too. But first he has to get fit, he says. And then maybe he'll get a few IPL games in after that.

I can't even bring myself to respond to him anymore. Tait is just a void in the cricket team. Sometimes there, mostly not, and only if he's in good physical and mental shape, which is proving to be a tough ask. He's a talented bowler, some may say chucker, but hey he's Aussie, right? We don't do chuckers, mate. Just ask Michael Clarke.

And as Tait recovers from his injury, Flintoff's surgery is over and has been declared a success. Good to hear, fuckers. They think he'll be back for the T20 World Cup, all fresh for another injury.

Shaun Tait out of IPL

He's always dropping out of everything. Sometimes his body isn't up to it, other times it's his mind. Someone needs to grow a spine.

Honestly. Does anyone want to put up with Shaun Tait's shit anymore? The Rajasthan Royals would have wanted him to play, but no, the hamstring's buggered again. Cricket Australia wants him fit as a fiddle for the World T20 in England.

I'm already over it. See this? This is me. Over it.

Flying over it.

Symonds in preliminary T20 squad

The preliminary squad of 30 players for this year's Twenty20 World Cup in England has been posted. And guess who makes an appearance? It's our very own Andrew Symonds, back from an extended fishing trip. According to James Sutherland, Roy's been making progress with his counselling and whatnot, so they're considering him for the team.

At least players are being taught that it's not them doing the team a favour by playing for them, but the team doing them a favour by including them in the squad. If there's anything I hate, it's arrogance and taking a firm position on a national team for granted. Hello there, KP.

Shaun Tait, Shane Watson, Brett Lee and Shaun Marsh are all on the list, despite still recovering from injuries. Well, at least 3 out of those 4 players genuinely want to play. No prizes for guessing who the last one is, the pansy with all the excuses.

Adam Voges is also on the list. I guess he won't be too busy getting married to play.

And in slightly different news, Australia's womens T20 preliminary squad has also been announced! I am excited to see Ellyse Perry on the list. The players are:

Sarah Aley, Sarah Andrews, Kristen Beams, Alex Blackwell, Kate Blackwell, Melissa Bulow, Jessica Cameron, Jude Coleman, Sarah Coyte, Lauren Ebsary, Sarah Edwards, Rene Farrell, Jodie Fields, Corinne Hall, Rachael Haynes, Alyssa Healy, Emma Inglis, Jessica Jonassen, Delissa Kimmince, Shelley Nitschke, Erin Osborne, Ellyse Perry, Kirsten Pike, Leah Poulton, Karen Rolton, Lisa Sthalekar, Selena Tainton, Jo-Ann Verrall, Elyse Villani, Julie Woerner.

I only put that list up here because they have interesting names. And because they're inherently awesome.

She used to kick ass and go to school at the same time. Now she kicks ass full time.