Thursday, 14 May 2009

We Are One

But we are many, and from all the states in Australia we come.

I am talking of the Australian cricketers to get a central contract, of course. And I am also breaking into song to express my condolences that in the space of a year, suddenly spinning is dead in Australia.

Of a list of 25, there is 1 specialist spinner. One. Think of the most insignificant, most NOTHING spinner to head our pathetic spinning attack (not that they want attacking spinners of course, they "go for too many runs". Spinners are just for containing now, sorry you wicket takers) and you may get Nathan Hauritz.

He is it, and that is it. Fuck off, says Cricket Australia. You learn to spin and we'll give you money, that's how it works.

We have better wicketkeepers than spinners, that's how bad it's become. Although not as bad as actually picking Andrew McDonald. When will CA learn? What does anyone see in him? Absolutely nothing worthwhile, he's just got a couple of half-baked skills. I guess that makes him a half-baked potato. Thank god he isn't one of the Blues or I'd have spent the past few years hanging my head in shame.

2009-10 contract holders: Doug Bollinger (NSW), Nathan Bracken (NSW), Stuart Clark (NSW), Michael Clarke (NSW), Callum Ferguson (SA), Brad Haddin (NSW), Nathan Hauritz (NSW), Ben Hilfenhaus (Tas), Brad Hodge (Vic), James Hopes (Qld), Phillip Hughes (NSW), David Hussey (Vic), Michael Hussey (WA), Mitchell Johnson (WA), Simon Katich (NSW), Brett Lee (NSW), Graham Manou (SA), Shaun Marsh (WA), Andrew McDonald (Vic), Marcus North (WA), Ricky Ponting (Tas), Peter Siddle (Vic), Andrew Symonds (Qld), Shane Watson (NSW), Cameron White (Vic).

Shaun Tait isn't on it. Now's a good time for him to come out and announce he only ever liked T20 anyway: "It's a better decision for me. I'm actually glad they made that decision, so no hard feelings there. Heh...heh..."

And, well, Callum Ferguson is on the list, as is Siddle, North, and all-time winner Hughes. Graham Manou is boosting the rock solid position the invincible Brad Haddin occupies. Well fuck me. Phil Jaques and Beau Casson don't make the cut. Here we go.

Adam Voges, meanwhile, has just pissed off the selectors.


12th Man said...

You have to sow a spinner to reap him. As of now the ones that are present are just weeds in a fast bowler field.

It high time Australia realise their weakness and start blooding one.

Esra_Star said...

Tait was useless anyway, he can come back to SA and breakdown again. Meh!

McDonald is in as the token ranga, Hauritz is just plain fucking lucky and not being biased but Manou is probably a better keeper than Haddin.

Damith S. said...

Btw AMY S, what great state do you support ?

Amy said...

12th, what a touching comment. Somewhere Bryce McGain is reading your words and crying softly to himself. He didn't get a contract and he can bowl. Everyone's forgotten about him already after that horrendous match we'd all rather forget.

Esra, frankly, anyone who doesn't edge their gloves over the stumps is a better keeper than Haddin.

Damith, the one I'm in of course. The greatest state in the country, sometimes known as the... SpeedBlitz Blues. Fuck, that doesn't help my cause.