Tait's an Australian A man

If you were top tier material and were dropped from the national team only to find yourself on the A team, would you be pissed off? Could you even bear a grudge when the selectors somehow end up looking like the good guys in all this?

These are all questions Shaun Tait will be asking himself, after being selected for the Australia A squad to play Pakistan A in Brisbane these coming months.

That's not the biggest news, however, because Andrew Symonds has been left out of the squad. So has Brad Hodge, but it's Roy where the real worries lie. Cricket Australia are looking to punish him badly, so much so that he can't even make the A team. What the fuck is going on here? Are they being entirely serious, because that's just bullshit. Hilditch serves up some valid points on how they're going with a young squad:

"The selection recognises the performances of these young talented players in the domestic season last year whilst concentrating on those players we have identified as having the ability to play a significant role in the development of Australian cricket in the future."

But where does all this leave Symonds? What exactly do they expect to get out of him?

Cameron White's captaining the team for both the four-day and limited overs matches, while Ryan Broad, Michael Klinger and Blues man Burt Cockley (walking around with an awesome name like that and taking wickets for NSW, good man) are only in for the two four-day matches. Other limited overs specialists or thereabouts will be coming in for the other matches, being Dave Warner, Tait, and Moises Henriques, who's a bit of a nothing.

You'll be amused to know that Adam Voges is in the squad as vice-captain. I guess CA couldn't pretend he didn't exist any longer.

And now, I'm not sure whether I should laugh or be appalled at the fact that Shaun Tait has only been included in the squad "subject to fitness" especially after it's been declared he is. The selectors sure love fucking with his mind.

George Bailey, recently appointed Tassie captain after one of their greats stood down, also makes the cut. He's the designated ray of sunshine for the team.

Even better, Dougie's there, raring to go. Making the Ashes squad was always going to be a tough ask of both him and the selectors. Other big names include Shaun Marsh (subject to fitness, of course) and the Echidna. Awesome, you say? I agree. Jason Krejza is also hoping to spin his hair off for the A team.

The squad: Cameron White (capt) Adam Voges, George Bailey, Doug Bollinger, Ryan Broad, Burt Cockley, Callum Ferguson, Brett Geeves, Moises Henriques, Jon Holland, Michael Klinger, Jason Krejza, Shaun Marsh, Clint McKay, Tim Paine, Shaun Tait, David Warner

Honk if you'd marry him.

What Makes Kings XI Special?

From their site:

I can't help but love the orange cap superimposed on Shaun Marsh's head, and the wannabe gangster Sreesanth. Not to mention Yuvi's "awesome skills".

Irfan Pathan, top bloke, has the very best fan policy of all:

I believe in being nice to the fans… win or lose. It is very important. These are small things… they don’t expect too much. Maybe an autograph or a photo… speak nicely to them and they are happy.

That's what we expect from top blokes.

And, if you're interested, a written piece from the one and only Ranadeb Bose. Aside from the misspelling of Brett Lee's name, he really does have good English. No wonder people considered the possibility that he could have been a certain someone from the outset.

How To Win The Ashes

1. Phil Hughes.

2. A good spinner, if we can find one.

3. Phil Hughes.

4. An opposition experiencing internal problems.

5. Phil Hughes.

6. Mitchell Johnson.

7. Phil Hughes.

8. Shaun Marsh, fingers crossed.

9. Phil Hughes.

10. And for good measure, Phil Hughes.

Little Phillip is going to piss off a lot of Poms.

"Phillip Hughes - Aussie twang."

North for Marsh?

Shaun Marsh has pulled his left hamstring again and is heading home. So Marcus North is coming in.

Australia's chances of winning this series look a little slimmer.

Shaun Marsh Heads Home

Yeah, that's right, that injury? The one you saw flare up again in the last match?

Well, it's taking him home. The world is a cruel place today.

Unamusing Australian Collapse

I swear it's not even funny.

Well, it is a little. Pup is funny. But the rest isn't.

122/9 is mindblowing. Shaun Marsh still isn't feeling good, our man Echidna couldn't do it, and really, Haddin and Watson were the only ones doing anything.

So much for supporting Australia through this series. Goddamn. What a measly opening performance.

Credit to the Pakistani bowlers. Afridi is on fire. 6/38. Good going.

IPL Sample Match

In light of recent changes to the game, and the distress it causes me, I've come up with a sample of an innings commentary during one of this year's IPL matches. It's a pertinent point and besides, YOU KNOW IT WILL HAPPEN.

9.1 Gony to Shaun Marsh, 1 run, edged away to short leg. The crowd is just waiting for some excitement.

9.2 Gony to James Hopes, 1 run, fielded at Gully. Marsh on strike again.

9.3 Gony to Shaun Marsh, FOUR, full and wide, beautiful cover drive. The crowd is roaring here.

9.4 Gony to Shaun Marsh, SIX, full and too straight, smashed over deep mid wicket for one long boundary. Beautiful shot from Marsh.

9.5 Gony to Shaun Marsh, SIX, full toss, creamed over long on. The crowd are loving every minute of this.

9.6 Gony to Shaun Marsh, SIX, this is sensational! Would have been a wide, but Marsh guided it easily past cover.

Tactical time-out for teams. Drinks for players. Shaun Marsh has had a stellar over, 24 runs off it. Looks in form and able to continue with this hard hitting.

10.1 Ntini to James Hopes, nudged away to mid wicket for a single.

10.2 Ntini to Shaun Marsh, OUT, bowled him! Ball swings, Marsh goes for it and misses. Clumsy shot. Marsh out for 67.

Expect to see a lot more of those, folks. Because we can't have a match without interrupting each innings midway to squeeze in more ads.

Where is Shaun Marsh?

He's in America, at the Arizona Cricket Club, helping baseball players learn how to play cricket.

Really.

Symonds in preliminary T20 squad

The preliminary squad of 30 players for this year's Twenty20 World Cup in England has been posted. And guess who makes an appearance? It's our very own Andrew Symonds, back from an extended fishing trip. According to James Sutherland, Roy's been making progress with his counselling and whatnot, so they're considering him for the team.

At least players are being taught that it's not them doing the team a favour by playing for them, but the team doing them a favour by including them in the squad. If there's anything I hate, it's arrogance and taking a firm position on a national team for granted. Hello there, KP.

Shaun Tait, Shane Watson, Brett Lee and Shaun Marsh are all on the list, despite still recovering from injuries. Well, at least 3 out of those 4 players genuinely want to play. No prizes for guessing who the last one is, the pansy with all the excuses.

Adam Voges is also on the list. I guess he won't be too busy getting married to play.

And in slightly different news, Australia's womens T20 preliminary squad has also been announced! I am excited to see Ellyse Perry on the list. The players are:

Sarah Aley, Sarah Andrews, Kristen Beams, Alex Blackwell, Kate Blackwell, Melissa Bulow, Jessica Cameron, Jude Coleman, Sarah Coyte, Lauren Ebsary, Sarah Edwards, Rene Farrell, Jodie Fields, Corinne Hall, Rachael Haynes, Alyssa Healy, Emma Inglis, Jessica Jonassen, Delissa Kimmince, Shelley Nitschke, Erin Osborne, Ellyse Perry, Kirsten Pike, Leah Poulton, Karen Rolton, Lisa Sthalekar, Selena Tainton, Jo-Ann Verrall, Elyse Villani, Julie Woerner.

I only put that list up here because they have interesting names. And because they're inherently awesome.

She used to kick ass and go to school at the same time. Now she kicks ass full time.