Tuesday, 14 April 2009

KP and the White Mischief Gals

It's smokin' in here. And it's going to get hotter, according to Vijay Mallya, owner of the Bangalore Royal Challengers. Because some new cheerleaders are coming to town.

Anyway, it's totally ridiculous and just some silly attempt to renew some interest in the team. Everyone's already interested because of KP, but who cares, Mallya wants to turn the oven up higher. After dropping last year's Washington Redskins cheerleaders, Mallya has hired the services of a varsity cheerleader group who he has named the "White Mischief Gals" after his brand of vodka.

Here's how he described them:
"A little bit naughty, a little more hottie and a lot more mischievous. Necklines plunging, hemlines rising, they are all set to let the mercury soar, than any of the sixes that come from the blades of Kevin Pietersen. [They are] specially trained in flirty acrobatic skills for a scintillating on-field performance."
Turned on yet? I'm not. I'm still wondering what "flirty acrobatic skills" are, and how you can be specially trained in it. It sounds difficult. I'd like to learn too, some of these "flirty acrobatic skills". I'll put it on my resume.

Notice how they sneakily plug KP's batting there. Yes, I'm not blinded by all this talk of plunging necklines, I can see the blatant promotion of a player going on here. They're entitled to, of course.

Apparently the cheerleaders are also going to be offering "flirtatious messages and tips" to fans. Maybe they could outsource it to me. That'll also look good on my CV. "Sent naughty text messages to Bangalore Royal Challengers fans during the second season of the IPL." You can't go past it.

If Indians will only be watching this on television, will they be able to be righteous enough to demand the cheerleaders wear pants over in South Africa? Maybe they'll burn effigies of cheerleaders on the streets.

Hotter than this. Like, literally on fire, if the public have their way.


Esra_Star said...

"flirtatious messages and tips" Someone better confiscate Warnie's phone if the Royals want to win again this year!

Andrew in MA said...

"Necklines plunging, hemlines rising". Finally less reason to have to watch all that cricket stuff which is getting in the way of the entertainment.

Amy said...

Esra, that's the master plan, actually. To distract Warnie.

Andrew, it's people like you who'll have these cheerleaders burnt to death by rabid Indian fans, by playing with the girls' self-esteem levels and encouraging them to wear skimpy clothes. Shame on you.

I'm supplying your name to the Indian public, btw. Just for kicks.

Andrew in MA said...

It's okay, most days my effigy is burnt on the streets of Calcutta and Bombay anyway. They hate those old names. I wonder what time the IPL matches start here in America. I've been laid off for the last three months and have entertained myself by watching on the internet every second of every cricket match I can find. I was all over the womens world cup. But I got offered a job yesterday (hurray!) so now I'm back to studying time zones and TV schedules and trying to squeeze in whatever live cricket I can. And I can't miss those hemlines and necklines.

Amy said...

You could quit before you start. It would be dramatic and worthy of praise. Maybe you'd get a job on KP's support staff, or with the cheerleaders.

rhoe said...


I'm not impressed.. :-(

Amy said...

They don't look very scantily clad.

Andrew in MA said...

Well that was hardly worth quitting my newfound job for, my neckline plunges more than that.

Amy said...

So does Chastity Barbie's.

Angelaipn said...

Well that was hardly worth quitting my newfound job for, my neckline plunges more than that.

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