Johnson: "I'm ready to pulverise Graeme's ribcage"

Moving on from the rather petty targets of hands, Mitchell Johnson has openly announced his enthusiasm for playing against Graeme Smith in the ODIs, claiming he'd "love to have a crack at his skull". Graeme Smith was coincidentally unavailable for comment, but shortly after Johnson's interview was broadcast on television, he is believed to have severely injured himself in a "freak accident involving a blender" and will sit out the ODI series.

“I have really enjoyed our contests that we’ve had. It’s always good to get the opportunity to bowl to an opening batsman with the new ball especially Graeme Smith who is such a great player."

These "contests" Mitchell speaks of are unknown to all. The only thing we saw was broken hands and blood. Blood on Jacques Kallis's face, who is also returning to the ODI squad after a groin injury.

Mickey Arthur has been making some inane comments about how South Africa are hoping to win the first ODI to gain momentum, etc. All the usual stuff.
Morne and Albie are both playing in the ODIs. The first one's on Friday. Should be funny to see how it goes.