Showing posts with label Stephen Fleming. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Stephen Fleming. Show all posts

Thursday, 14 May 2009

Dhoni winks again

What is going on? Why does he keep winking at VB Chandrasekar? The last time he did it, he was tucked away in a corner of Nando's having an intimate lunch with Suresh Raina. But really, all this winking is getting out of control.
Fleming was found busy writing and we assumed it was a report. It was in fact lyrics to the team song which was sung in chorus inside the dressing room. I was too busy shooting a video and could not be part of the festivities. Dhoni winked and suggested it to be put on the YouTube.

Apart from the fact, Stephen Fleming wrote a team song for the Chennai Super Kings, and that everyone sung it, this portrait of Dhoni that is slowly being painted is mostly one of gelled hair and winks. And paedophilia.

Please, somebody. Stop it.

Thursday, 2 April 2009

Jacob Oram is key for CSK

News is that Jacob Oram may not play in this year's IPL tournament after all, due to an Achilles tendon strain. If he's unable to play in the New Zealand domestic state championship final in early April, then it looks like it'll be a sorry goodbye for Oram.

According to the Chennai Super Kings' cricket operations director, VB Chandrasekhar, Stephen Fleming is doing a little behind-the-scenes persuasion to "convince Oram to play the tournament". I don't know what exactly that entails, but I'm trying to get in touch with Oram using Morse code to tell him to run for his life. Everyone's after him. Including Dhoni, says Chandrasekhar. How does that work? Dhoni sneaks off to Oram's house after hours and breaks in to have a "friendly" chat about the possibility of playing for Chennai in the IPL?

Run for the hills. Dhoni's coming to get you and he's got a knife.

Of course, if "he doesn't feel up to it, we won't force him," continues Chandrasekhar. Oh well, I guess that solves THAT problem. No secret messages in Morse code for me.

He also states that Flintoff's absence for part of the tournament will mean Jacob Oram and Albie Morkel will have to share the workload of the team, and that the further absence of Oram would put Morkel under "great strain". I don't know if Chandrasekhar knows this, but if that were to happen Albie would obviously cope well under pressure and continue to go bonkers with the bat, smashing balls into smithereens and mistaking the road outside the stadium as the boundary.

Obviously.

Sunday, 29 March 2009

Why the Chennai Super Kings will win

Obligatory Pre-Rehab Post on CSK before I disappear.

Why the Chennai Super Kings will win:

  • They are dressed in yellow and blue.
  • They are Super Kings.
  • They have a player named Napoleon Einstein.
  • Freddie's on the team.
  • Albie is on the team.
  • Jacob Oram won't be too busy avoiding Test cricket.
  • Dhoni's hair is no longer a separate entity to his body.
  • Albie & Makhaya Ntini will be there for the entire tournament.
  • Matthew Hayden and Michael Hussey will be there for the entire tournament.
  • Dhoni's gloves.
  • Warnie's a wanker.
  • They beat Kings XI by 9 wickets.
  • They only lost the final in the last ball.
  • There is only one Englishman on the team.
  • Albie will be sending texts from "Nurse Saskia" to Warnie during the games.
  • Manpreet Gony is feeling good today.
  • They don't slap each other.
  • They don't cry.
  • I want them to.

Why the Chennai Super Kings will lose:

  • They are dressed in yellow and blue.
  • They are Super Kings.
  • Stephen Fleming is New Zealander.
  • Makhaya Ntini is a rapist.
  • There is one Englishman on the side.
  • Michael Hussey will be there for the entire tournament (NO HE'S NOT, I'M AN EVIL WOMAN.)
  • Freddie won't be there for the entire tournament.
  • They lost the final to a team captained by a wanker.
  • Manpreet Gony is married to Manpreet Kaur.
  • It is owned by India Cements.
  • Dhoni's gloves.
  • The universe is against me.

Napoleon Einstein - my new best friend