South African Fever

As an Australian fan, it's hard not to notice if you've been afflicted with South African Fever. It's a non-infectious disease, and it's pretty difficult to acquire, but if you are in close enough contact (through a television screen will do) with the carriers of this disease and are of a particular temperament, it's pretty difficult not to get it.

South African Fever first makes itself evident through an increase in Google activity. A quick search of 'History' can reveal whether a family member of fellow computer-user is afflicted. If the person in question is Australian, you are safe to leave them be to drown under the disease. But if they belong to a minority group (note: Bangladesh, Zimbabwe; they could always do with retaining their current fans) do not, under any circumstances, sacrifice them to the Fever. This is vitally important to maintaining equality in the ranks.

I cannot even describe the later symptoms of South African Fever (commonly abbreviated as Safrican Fever) as the disease strikes fast once identifying a victim. Life afterwards will be hard in some respects. Surviving in Australia is a particularly difficult task, but we can all take comfort in knowing that there are possibly others out there like us, although the incidence of the Fever is less than 1 in 1,000,000.

One of the greatest country music artists of 1950-60s wrote a song about the Safrican Fever, in an attempt to reduce suicide rates among the inflicted:

Safrican Fever - Johnny Cash
Safrica is a burning thing
And it makes a fevery ring
Bound by sweat and fever
I fell into the Safrican Fever

I fell into the burning Safrican Fever
I went down, down, down
And the flames went higher.
And it burns, burns, burns,
The Safrican Fever,
The Safrican Fever.

The taste of Safrica is sweet
When feverish individuals meet
I fell sick soon like a child
Oh, but the Fever went wild.

I fell into the burning Safrican Fever
I went down, down, down
And the flames went higher.
And it burns, burns, burns,
The Safrican Fever,
The Safrican Fever.