IPL - where is it going, where has it been?

"Anybody in a recession would want to have us." - Lalit Modi, OFFICIAL PERVERT

Anybody in a recession would want to have anyone but you, Lalit.

England staging the IPL, who could have thunk it? Forget the ECB almost refusing to allow its players to participate in it, this could bring $100 million into the British economy, says Modi, taking time off from observing Preity Zinta's anatomy. Bring it on, say the ECB. You're no Allen Standford, so it's going to be a cash bonanza for us! Let's have some muddy cricket for a change. CRICKET IN APRIL, WHAT A BLAST!

Clearly, they need to consider the weather. But Modi is still clinging to the dead hope of the first IPL match being held at Lord's. Sorry, Mr. De-lalit-icious, but I'm afraid that's not going to happen. They play cricket in England when you're not watching, you know. In any case, England is barely prepared to stage the IPL, so who next? It's vital we get this right. Don't overlook the obvious countries who are willing to do this, keep your mind solely focused on Lord's and how much you'd love to watch a match there. Keep thinking, keep thinking....

Oh right. South Africa. Apparently they're willing to be friends with the cricketing superpower, AND they'd be able to host the event and get organised before the IPL begins. No way! Well, says Modi, FINE, I'll fly over. You people never let me do what I want to. And with reports that rain in England could affect up to 70% of IPL fixtures there's no kidding around. This shit is headin' DOWN SOUTH, folks. That's right. It's only a matter of time before it's official.

The Home Secretary of India has been quoted as saying "The IPL is more than a game. It is a shrewd combination of sport and business. There is no reason to add politics into this combination."
Right he is. It's a very serious event.

Now, who's a tad sad the IPL's moving out? Why, none other than Freddie Flintoff, of course! The poor guy's disappointed the event won't be held in India. He loves the crowd's jibes--oh sorry, I went vibes. But nobody loves the Indian crowd more than Andrew Symonds, of course. Fred has a lot of experience playing T20 games in front of Indian crowds...

"I love playing cricket in India, particularly one-day cricket. I've never played a Twenty20 match over there but I can imagine it will be an unbelievable experience because as a player you don't get a chance very often to play in front of big crowds of 40,000 to 50,000 people. It's unfortunate but if we don't do that this year then hopefully we can do it again next year."

Wait, what's that? He's never played a Twenty20 match over there before. Well, that's alright, because there's always next year, right? If you're willing to go there, that is. Who's to say there won't be "security concerns" next year? FOLKS, I THINK WE'VE JUST DISCOVERED THE SCARIEST THING TO HAPPEN TO FLINTOFF YET. He has never played a T20 match in India before, and he never will. Years into the future, a reporter will ask him how he liked played T20 in India, and poor old Fred will have NO IDEA. It'll be the make-or-break moment of his post-cricket writing career, and he will fail miserably.

All because the IPL was moved out of India in 2009.