Up goes the finger, Ntini strikes early, Duminy takes an easy catch at second slip, and Clarke is out in the second over, leaving them at 2/1. Ponting walks out looking Punterish. He won the fucking toss, didn't he? Now why is this happening? After the match he will take a leaf out of Katich's book and choke Clarke to teach him a lesson.
Ding dong, the witch is dead.
Callum Ferguson is playing today, hopefully looking less like an echidna than before. Ben Laughlin, a quick, is debuting. Nathan Hauritz is in, Nathan Bracken is still sporting annoying hair.
Morne Morkel's into the attack. I think I see a tear in his eye, and a hard glare at Albie. Bitter, much?
AHHH ALBIE AND MORNE ARE BOWLING FROM OPPOSITE ENDS.
I don't know why this is significant or worthy of caps, but it just is. Ntini may have hurt his hand fielding a ball off his own bowling. Serves you right for interfering with the Will Of The Batsman. Not really.
Haha, Albie's economy rate is better than Morne's. I'm sorry, I don't know why I'm doing this. I'm being petty.
I just realised what I am doing. This cannot go on for much longer. I need sleep. I have a life to attend to tomorrow, or today actually. Seems it's past midnight.
Albie is going for 6 runs an over. Morne's going for a bit more than 4.
Oh fuck Albie, you stupid prick. First you bowl a shocker of a no ball, then bowl a ridiculous length which allows Haddin to get six, then you top it off with a wide. Brilliant. Bloody brilliant. I'm not trying to pimp you out on AB's website for nothing, you know.
Albie's horror over: 17 runs.
Oh thank god, Ponting's out. Morne was bowling, Ponting tried to get it over mid-on, and Albie took the catch. What happened, Albie? Are your hands suddenly working now? I wonder why Albie even caught the ball and didn't sabotage Morne. I would do that for fun.
David Hussey's been promoted one up the order in supposedly dire circumstances, replacing his brother. Not a particularly bold move.
Albie taken out of the attack and Botha put in. Never thought I'd say this, but thank god. That last over was almost painful to watch.
Something interesting better happen in the next 2 minutes or I'm killing myself. If this was a T20 match, the first innings would be over right now.
Hello again Albie. Try bowling well this time.
HAHAHA, I'm sorry, I knew there was a reason I backed you. Albie bowls the ball that takes a hilarious wicket. David Hussey gets run out when Haddin decides he'd rather not run. AB is a team player and a man of God, so he pegs the ball at Albie, who breaks the stumps. Unfortunately, AB gets credited with this run out, I am sure.
ANOTHER RUN OUT! It's Haddin this time, although Michael Hussey hit the ball. They get one run, Haddin comes back for more, Albie throws the ball to Boucher, stumped. Excellent. Also, Albie gets the credit for this one. Too bad, AB. Looks like you can't beat the real star.
Callum Ferguson comes in and pushes down his spiky hair determinedly with his helmet. He won't let his echidna genes get in the way of saving Australia from their current position of 115/4.
By the way Albie, I'm never doubting you again. Never. Not that I ever did, of course. But 17 runs off one over when I'm in a delirious state of mind is not good.
Why have the England players gone to Dubai?
7 hours ago