Sunday, 12 April 2009

Sybrand Engelbrecht Beats Shane Warne

I'm excited. My best friend has flexed his ambidextrous powers to aid his team to a crushing 28 run defeat of the Rajasthan Royals.

In yesterday's IPL "Clash of the Champions", between SA's leading T20 team, the Cape Cobras, and last year's IPL champions, the Rajasthan Royals, Sybrand stepped up to the plate and delivered in both his batting and bowling. What a superstar, seriously. Shane Warne was scared out of his wits by this ambidextrous saffa with terrifyingly blonde hair.

The Cape Cobras hit 142/8, batting first, and Sybrand top scored, hitting 36 off 22 balls, Albie-style. But he wasn't done there, oh no he wasn't. Because when the Royals came into bat, Sybrand opened the bowling, tricking the opposition by quickly switching the ball from one hand to the other in his run-up. He didn't break any laws, however, because after switching 5 times, he eventually bowled with the arm he had specified to the umpire. What a clever boy. If I were ambidextrous, I would do the same.

The Cape Cobras captain, Justin Ontong, spoke of his deliciously cunning plan to trick the opposition by having Sybrand open the bowling:

"We opened the bowling with an off-spinner Sybrand (Engelbrecht) just to provide a different approach and try to confuse the opposition."

What a dastardly game plan, making use of the team mutant. I like it.

Sybrand should have also gotten the MoM award, but his slightly less evil team mate Rory Kleinveldt picked up 4/22 and also hit 23 runs. The MoM award was actually a car, the Mahindra Xylo, and it went to Kleinveldt. But the bastard who stole Sybrand's prize doesn't even have a goddamn driver's license. How comical. Instead, the team decided they'd sell the car and split the profits. How business-like.

As a side note, I have discovered a news article about the game which completely excludes Sybrand from it. Not only that, but it replaces Sybrand's achievements by accrediting them to someone else, a player named Richard Levi. That's just really creepy.

"Identity theft? Richard Levi, this is my manic face. I'm coming to get you."


cricketanalysisdotcom said...

Whoa, this is one of the scariest dudes I have ever seen! His pic on cricinfo is even worse.
Shane Warne was going for this look when he got the transplant but not even science can capture such blond greatness.

Amy said...

His hair serves the same purpose on the field that the KKR's uniforms do.

Anonymous said...

Haha...maybe your sybrand/albie love makes you look for sybrand and Albie everywhere!

Amy said...

I don't even think Richard Levi played in that match!

You also forgot Napoleon Einstein and Vaughn van Jaarsveld in that list.

Graeme said...

Not sure if I'm missing the joke, but the scorecard would indicate that Levi did topscore and your best friend did not bat.

Amy said...

Oh my fucking god. What crackpot article was I looking at then?

"Towards the end of the 20-overs clash Engelbrecht who top-scored in the match with his 22-ball knock of 36 runs..."

Sid said...

now even i doubt my eyes!(who scored those runs!! maybe it was LEVI) WARNEY LOSES ~~ tat is sweet enough !

Amy said...

It was Levi, but not undoubtedly so. I will never trust any supposedly trustworthy site that isn't cricinfo.

rhoe said...

I'd like to know the name of that supposedly trustworthy site... ;)

Keep up the good work, Amy. Very entertaining. I'd like to hear suggestions on how to disrupt the Pak/Aus series so RR would get back their players and not be so shit.

Amy said...

SuperSport. It's most definitely trustworthy but they seem to have made a fatal error.

As for disrupting the series, I'm afraid the only viable thing to do would be to kill Akhtar.