Aussie Ex-Wankers & Ex-Aussie Wankers + IPL Thoughts

I'm trying desperately to figure out what that means. Imagine my surprise when I woke up today and discovered a piece of paper with that written on it, along with a bunch of other notes relating to the IPL. I have very little recollection of it, but seeing as I'd written it so earnestly, I thought I might as well post my [drunken] thoughts on the IPL. I've edited it a little so it makes sense:

• Won't get to see Shane Watson's hair in slow motion. Shame.
• Hope bowlers shout more obscenities at batsmen.
• Circus acts.
• No fielding side knows what they are missing out on. Sybrand's not playing.
• Munaf Patel can hopefully get coloured contact lenses to spare us the terror.
• Yusuf Pathan can try to stop looking so nervous before bowling.
• OUTFIELDS MUST BE FAST OR I WILL DIE.
• Warne will hide the thinning bald spot on the back of his head.
• Slog it!
• Cheerleaders will have more interesting moves.
• Shane Warne will mis-spit on batsman at non-striker's end. Lucky Punter's not there.
• At least when Albie gets out he takes the wicketkeeper and a fielder out with him.
• AUSSIE EX-WANKERS AND EX-AUSSIE WANKERS

Still confused about the last one. Most of the rest makes sense.

Just thought I'd share. Seems this post will be my final thoughts on the IPL. No team-by-team coverage for me, apparently. Not that I was going to, of course.