Who is the Fake IPL Player?

Everyone wants to know, everyone's speculating, and it's damn near impossible to figure this one out.

At first I thought it might be anyone. It didn't get too specific and some of the stuff written would have been easy to infer about the team. In fact, at first, the Fake IPL Player was pretty darn hilarious.

The Sheikh of Tweak. Vinnie Dildo. Lord Almighty. And so forth. Very amusing takes on players and happenings.

But then things took a turn for the, I suppose, darker side, when it became clear that this was perhaps upsetting an already upset team. The Knight Riders' CEO Joy Bhattacharya denied the blog was coming from a player within the team, claiming it was "sick and perverted". Which it hilariously is.

There are differences between the take of events on the blog and what Joy claims. In fact, the treatment of the Lord and his reaction as depicted by the Fake IPL Player is altogether too close to what is likely to be the truth, an uncomfortably close-to-the-bone description of the goings on following the captaincy issue.

The writer then went on to give a little disclaimer:
All characters appearing in this work (blog) are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental and unintentional.

You know, seems intelligent, and much of the writing suggests this. Is definitely Indian, can speak English well, and must be an insider of some sort. There are slip-ups in spelling at times but it's got a well-educated feel to it. Or well aware of pop culture.

But who is this Fake IPL Player? When it became clear that the writer had a considerable idea of what was going on in the team, it seemed it could be a journo doing the honours. But they've denied this too, although they have said that other journalists suspected it was one of their own behind this.

And now apparently management wants to catch the player "within 24 hours" having narrowed it down to a list of 4 young Indian players, of which the Fake IPL Player claims to be none. The description of the ongoing secrecy in the team and the falling out between management and players has an all too ominous feel to it. Simply put, this writer doesn't appear to be making this up. They're getting their info from somewhere.

I don't really know some of the more obscure Kolkata players so I can't weigh in on who it could be. But whatever it is, in the last day or so, this hilarious blog has transformed into more of a mystery. Our very own blogger mystery.

KKR are claiming the opposite of the writer. In their version of events, SRK comes around for a coffee after the loss, and the players sit around chatting to each other. Sounds like a right old tea party.
In the Fake IPL Player's take of events, SRK doesn't come around at all, and the team is tense. The Lord is quiet, Coach is taking time off from the players on his laptop, and so forth.

A mystery, then.

But I think I've cracked it. The Colonel did it, in the library, with the wrench.