Sunday, 14 June 2009

The best search ever

Glad to see there's someone in the world who doesn't like die AB. The following search ended up here:
fucking ab de villiers
And I believe it is said in a vehement, anger-filled way. A "fucking AB de Villiers keeps being an overtly humble prick" kind of way. Not a "I'd like to know how best to go about fucking AB de Villiers way".

At the same time, I have terrible searches leading to my blog. Take, for example:
jacques kallis muscular
Oh yeah. Take care not to vomit. That reminds me, there's a question I've been pondering for a while. Is there anyone in this world who actually likes Jacques Kallis, and if so, why the fuck do they?

30 comments:

Stani Army said...

Jacques Kallis likes Jacques Kallis....so does Jacques mum.

The real reason you have these searches lead to your site Ames is because you actually have these phrases typed away somewhere. You're a secret AB, Jacques lover....you and your invisible tags.

Esra_Star said...

Some reason Shamone (? sp) likes him, or his money. And if I hear one more commentator say Bouch & Jacques are thick as thieves and best mates I may have to start rethinking my pledge of undying love towards Bouch.

Amy said...

Stani, someone also got here looking for "AB de Villiers - naked" hyphen and all. And that is one sight I never want to see.

Esra, I understand your hesitation at Shamone's name. Even Jacques doesn't know how it's spelt. You got it right, by the way, so that makes you a better human being than him. The Bouch/Kallis thing will hopefully fade away at the same rate that Jacques' hairline recedes.

Perth said...

Didnt get ur post Amy. What did u mean? someone came here in search for *fucking ab de villiers??"
WHO??

Amy said...

A Sri Lankan, that's all I know. They're really nice people.

The MG said...

Maybe it was Maharoof? Although, judging by the kiss he gave AB in AB's vid, he already knows all about 'fucking AB de Villiers'.

Anonymous said...

I think Amy's a closet AB lover and she'd love to see him naked as much as she'd like to see Albie in his birthday suit. Even Morne!

boncam said...

Esra its ShaRmone. Weirdest name ever, she might be foreign.

Amy I must have found your site searching 'fat ass Kallis is a fucking moron'.

Amy said...

MG, nice. I'm glad somebody went there.

Anon, sorry, no. I know everyone finds it difficult to believe anyone could dislike AB, but that person is me. A woman can have reasons unrelated to secret crushes for not liking someone, you know.

Boncam, you sure about Shamone there? It seems to actually be Shamone if you look it up a bit. But I wouldn't be surprised if that search ended up here. Haha.

Esra_Star said...

Boncam I did some quality lurking and I believe Amy & I are correct. Shamone, no r necessary.

achettup said...

OMG, you don't like Jacques either? WTH is wrong with you AMY S, Why don't you piss off from South Africa you don't know anything!

Amy said...

OMG U LYK JACKS????

boncam said...

:) OMG, LOL!!! :)

Am I missing something? Amy your not in SA, are you?

My name is boncam and I am proudly South African who proudly dislikes Kallis.

Amy said...

Only in spirit, Boncam. Only in spirit.

boncam said...

Would you look at that!

http://tinyurl.com/mty7wn
(On JK's site it says ShaRmone)

But you guys are right it is Shamone (no R). Not such a weird name after all. Kallis is a dumb fuck.

achettup said...

I cannot understand such hatred being directed at two of the most perfect human beings ever to have graced the game. It is so illogical. One has become the greatest allrounder in the history of the game, has a sweet smile that could floor melt one of the queen's guards and is extremely modest to go along with being one of the politest cricketers ever.
The other is the best fielder ever born, will end up on any of the all-time great batsmen list and never says something if it might sounds discouraging. No negative energy when he's around.
And see what happens. You people, you call them Chucky and Dumb ****s, I can't even write such words. Why are you so evil and cruel. Don't you know that if everyone was like that there would be no hope in the world and this great game. Its just not cricket, and in the end cricket will not be the winner.
Amy I really thought that you were a nice person and that deep down you cared for AB, but it seems that I might be wrong. Maybe you are a rotten person. Die AMY, see what you've done, you've made me hateful too. Damn You!

boncam said...

Dear archettup

I don't hate AB, I love him. It is Kallis I can't stand. He is not the politest cricketer, as you claim him to be. Did you watch the IPL? Did you see him sledge JP & our beloved AB? That was not nice. Take a look at these pics

http://img197.imageshack.us/i/rdm33.jpg/

http://img194.imageshack.us/i/rdm32.jpg/

he was going at little Baz like a rabid mongrel, Smithy had to push the brute away.

So Amy dislikes AB. I am sure you dislike someone who we adore.

achettup said...

No you are wrong Boncam. Horribly wrong. That was not Jacques, that was Hydelle, Jacques alter ego who takes over when the pressure gets to be too much. Don't we all have a multiple personality disoreder we try to suppress to conform to today's social norms? Even Jim Carrey lost it in one movie I saw a long time ago. I'll bet you still like Jim Carrey. Why can't you be patient and understanding of Jacques too?
And you are wrong with your second assumption too. I am like AB and like to see the positive side of everything so I do not dislike anyone. Except for Ponting and Clarke who are SONSOFBITCHESASSHOLEMOFODIRTYCHEATING... sorry, that was grunther, he takes over sometimes but my yoga classes are improving and I'm developing more self control all the time. Doesn't Ricky have the best sense of humor ever?

Stani Army said...

Ames, why do people take you so seriously?

Can you bottle some of that 'take me serious' stuff for me...need it for my interviews.

Amy S doesn't hate anyone guys. She can't....even if she says she can.

achettup said...

You are wrong Stani Army. Because of Amy people are comparing AB to an evil clown on the most famous cricket website. Evil is bad enough, but a clown? Thats too much.
How would you feel Stani if she kept making fun of Inzimam and then the whole world followed suit? He would become a laughing stock. Thats not nice isn't it. Now think about AB who has never said an unkind thing in his entire life. I feel so sad.

Stani Army said...

achettup, you're so inconsiderate. What about how evil clowns would feel about being compared to AB Die-villiers? Don't think of them do you?

Amy has made fun of Inzamam by the way. I asked her whether she would name her kid Inzi and she said if she did that she would laugh in his face everyday. Admittedly, the whole world didn't laugh and follow suit but that's the whole world's fault, not Amy's.

And AB HAS said an unkind thing before. I know Ravi Bopara from school days. Whilst he was batting, he told me that AB said to him "you don't look English". Ravi was very upset so he replied "you don't look African". Then Dimitri Mascheranos said "Hold on a minute mate..."....you get the picture.

Amy said...

This comment thread is the most hilarious ever. Ach is only joking, guys. This AB business goes back a long way to the day he said he'd turn gay for AB because AB is "just so insanely hot".

I know. I took up issue with that. AB LOOKS LIKE A RAGDOLL, OKAY? That oversized head and stocky body is highly disturbing.

And I'm rather pleased that disliking AB has become cool now. It took a lot of hard work to get here, and I'm not about to stop. Just as the women's movement pushes on, so will the anti-AB movement. Because someone has to take the first step.

Stani Army said...

We were doing so well Ames but you had to go and spoil it.

Pack up achettup; let's go to the next post.

boncam said...

achettup, the Ponting/ Clarke feeling is mutual. Amy will always try to turn us to the dark side.

Perth said...

Stani, is the stuf u said about AB sledging Bopara true? Or some kinda joke.

Amy said...

Stani, no wait, you're too funny. Please, continue. I beg of you.

Boncam, the dark side, you say? It's the right side.

Amy said...

Perth, I'm sure it's a joke. AB could never stand up to Ravs like that.

boncam said...

See there she goes again. Trying to make us believe were wrong and the evil ones. Don't fall prey to her false prophecies.

Stani Army said...

Perth, I love your innocence;

Amy dissed Inzi: TRUE
Stani knew Rav: TRUE
AB sledged Rav: FALSE

AB would never do that. He's such a good guy.

Ames, you know you don't have to beg me....anymore.

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