Sunday, 14 June 2009

South Africa set a record

Most consecutive T20 International wins ever. But wait, was anyone actually surprised they won against the West Indies? On rolls the South African juggernaut as they flatten teams on their way to the finals.

Despite Chris Gayle's valiant attempts to distract them with some ultra-cool sunnies, the saffas did not budge. They've had good practice at this, especially after Stuart Broad's attempts to deliberately distract the South African batsmen. Also because once their eyes lock onto the missile, also known as the ball, they do not take their eyes off it, not even to look at Broad's delicate hands.

You know what's creepy? As I check Cricinfo for Kallis' bowling figures because they're pretty fucking funny, I see they have also spoken of the "South African juggernaut rolling on. I don't write for them, just in case you were wondering. My singular brain is on par with their collective brains, however. Jacques' figures are 2-0-23-0 by the way. Hahahaha, that's far too good. Fingers crossed he'll stop playing T20s.

I won't mention Albie's figures because this is my blog and I can do whatever the hell I want. You want fairness? Go somewhere else. He was brilliant, just brilliant. A wicket on a no ball which is better than no wicket at all, and a small error involving a wide which ended up costing 5 runs. BRILLIANT.

Wayne Parnell had to do even more this match to finally get the MoM award. 4/13 is the result of his mastering the art of bowling yorkers and actually bowling at the stumps. With all the creative shit bowlers are trying to come up with, it seems everyone forgot that simply bowling at the stumps and waiting for a wicket is remarkably successful.

Lendl Simmons is the only batsman on the West Indies side who should be walking away from this match with a smile on his face, although he might not be smiling because they still lost despite his 77. Seriously, the things some people have to put up with...

And now I come to Albie. You were waiting for it all along, I know. That 10 off 8, especially after the perfect opportunity presented itself when die AB got ahead of himself and got out on 17. After being promoted up the order to actually come in before the 16th over. That was amazing, that last bit. Everything was set in place for Albie to kill someone, preferably with his bat. He didn't, but the very clever Jerome Taylor was behind it. The smart bastard bowled a few bouncers and then nailed Albie with a great yorker. Even Albie appreciated that one. Super Shades Gayle had instructed Taylor to go about targeting Albie with bouncers and this is CLEARLY him going after the most dangerous batsman on the side. I mean, obviously. For this reason, Albie's dismissal was alright. He felt the respect as he walked off that field.

I think Nasser Hussain wants to marry die AB, just like every other commentator out there.

And in the current match, New Zealand are killing me. Dan the Man is playing but... they're killing me. They really are.

15 comments:

boncam said...

Congratulations to Parnell. Finally some recognition.

Kallis making an ass out of himself was fantastic. Fucking asswipe.

Albie will always be great. I love his bed-head hairstyle. He always seems so chilled.

My hobbit, ROFL seemed too excited. Did he forget to take his Ritalin this morning?

Gayle is starting a new fashion trend. I noticed a fan in the crowd wearing the same shades in red. Where can I get a pair?

rahul said...

his bowling aside, Kallis is now the leading run scorer in the tournament :o

Esra_Star said...

Jacques getting belted was bloody hilarious!

Parnell has been pretty fucking impressive since his debut. But he still looks odd, can't work out why...

Also I'm gonna need to get me some of those shades, not only to boost my coolness but to help my blinding hangover, fuck Im too old for this shit!

Anonymous said...

Parnell is great, and yes the commentators all want to seduce AB. His tournament hasn't been great apart from the massacre of Scotland yet you'd think he's scored millions the way they were talking.

Anonymous said...

Gayle's shades are super ugly.

Anonymous said...

Esra maybe its his pointy nose? Like the Wicked Witch of the West.
http://thewizardofoz.warnerbros.com/movie/img/photos/photo5.jpg

Amy said...

Boncam, ROFL is an elf, not a hobbit. An evil elf who sabotages Christmas presents for children all over the world. And you can get those sunnies in an exclusive deal with more for only $500. It's a bargain, I swear.

Rahul, oh god, you had to mention it, didn't you? I was trying my hardest to ignore that.

Esra, maybe because people who have their hair cut that short look odd when they wear sunglasses.

Anon, they were practically drooling when they talking about a past match. "He scored 15 off ONLY 8 BALLS!" No way! Only 8 balls? That takes a real bloody genius.

Anon (again?), they're deceptive and hide his eyes when he bowls so you can't see him eyeing up the batsman.

Anon, his nose isn't that weird! I like the witch, anyway.

boncam said...

Okay ROFL can be an evil elf. But I need a hobbit. Boucher? Brendon McCullum?

Amy said...

That's a tough one. I'll have to be on the lookout for that.

Esra_Star said...

What about William Porterfield, the Irish captain or is he more elf than hobbit?

Bouch & Baz don't really spring to mind when you think of hobbits.

Amy said...

I dunno, I think Will's more of a cute retarded elf. It's difficult to pick out a good hobbit.

boncam said...

I just checked out that line up spotto pic. ROFL & Abdulla are shorter than Bouch.

Amy said...

Man, that's strange. I also notice AB is trying to avoid being called short through puffing up that hair. It doesn't fool anyone, though.

Apart from the height factor, hobbits need to have the hair and face for it.

boncam said...

I am claiming Luke Wright as my hobbit. He has a Pippin/Merry look.

Amy said...

Haha, he'd look even more like a hobbit if his hair were right. But that's a good enough pick, he's pretty adorable. But he must be way taller than any hobbit would be.