Saturday, 13 June 2009

What I am going to do today

Today I am going to set aside a good five minutes to laugh at India.

I will then laugh at Dhoni for an extra special reserved period of time.

Then I will bake a cake, for reasons to be explained later in this post.

Next, I will watch Jacques Kallis get out for a duck, followed by another duck from die AB.

After this, I will watch Albie Morkel hit the ball out of the fucking park and pillage the same Windies that beat the '07 champions.

As I am doing this, I will cry tears of joy and blow out the candles on the cake, all 28 of them. I will say "ya did well, kid" to the television as Albie goes on to make a half century.

Then I will watch New Zealand destroy Pakistan.

All in a day's work.

20 comments:

Esra_Star said...

Happy Birthday Amy! Hope you have a good one & all your wishes come true. It appears most on your list won't be hard to achieve. And if AB doesn't comply I will happily sort him out for you! :)

Q said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Q said...

"Happy Birthday Amy" ???

Esra, I believe Amy is celebrating Albie Morkel's birthday who turned 28, 3 days ago :-)

Or am I mistaken and it is ur birthday Amy?

Nah, I think the former.

And u could have been kinder to the Pakistanis Amy!

boncam said...

Celebrating Albie's bday...:)
I will drink to that. Bring out the bubbly. You can call AB the mascot for the day.

Esra_Star said...

I'm blonde for a reason Q! And have been drinking since noon so I am easily confused...

Q said...

That explains it Esra! :-)

Anonymous said...

Go Albie!

Jonathan said...

Save some cake for me!

Stani Army said...

Easy mistake Es. Ames has probably changed her date of birth just to fit Albies anyway.

If you're baking a carrot cake Ames, don't tell NWG. Actually, don't tell her at all.

If you think AB is gonna get out for a duck then you're a quackpot. Doesn't he have the record for most innings without a duck in some form of the game? Help me out Q?

And Albie won't hit the ball out of the park; he's gonna bowl it out the park. Actually you're right...he will hit it out the park because the park is where he'll be, playing with the children.

The only team that can destroy Pakistan (apart from Pakistan) is currently in Leicester. Ah well.

Q said...

Stani, u r absolutely right! AB holds the record for playing the most test innings, all 78 of them, before he got his first test duck.

Amy said...

Esra, I was talking about Albie, but your second comment does no justice to blondes. We're ridiculously intelligent, I swear. Come on, even you know you're full of genius. Pure genius, even when intoxicated.

Q, but unfortunately, I'm too kind to the Kiwis so that's not possible. Another month, perhaps. When they play Zimbabwe.

Boncam, we need a mascot everyone likes, and that everyone is me.

Anon, do drop by again and leave more comments like that. In fact, fill a whole thread full of those comments and you get a special prize.

Jonathan, sorry, I'm planning on gorging myself on it right afterwards and maybe mailing a piece to CSA just to creep them out a little.

Stani, unlike AB, Albie heads down to the park on his day off to teach midgets how to play cricket. He's a kind soul, that Albie. And you know what you could do to be as kind as Albie? For starters, not mentioning AB's stupid record.

Ankit Poddar said...

Amy,

Can I join in laughing at India and then we could laugh at Pakistan together?!

And those moronic West Indians as well!

Fark said...

Ajit Agarkar likes cakes. Ajit Agarkar doesn't blow out the candles. He breathes normally and the cyclone comes out of his gigantic nostrils.

Stani Army said...

Q, you don't disappoint. Bosh! You really stepped into that one didn't you Ames?

Ames, by "Go Albie" anon meant "go away Albie". You misunderstood.

You know what I keep doin Ames? I keep getting mixed up between AB Morkel and Albie Die-villiers. See, I did it again. So similar those two.

Hoohoohahahaha, evil bastard aren't I?

Esra_Star said...

Well I went to another party, drank some more and have to agree Amy, we blondes are genius. This blonde is also very drunk but enjoying watching Jacques get smashed all over the ground. Good to remind him just because he think he can bat, he can't. Plus his bowling is worse...

boncam said...

Yay, Kallis sucked today!

Amy said...

Ankit, of course. A good laughing session is in order. People should laugh at these teams more, turn the attention away from the game and onto how entertaining the more stupid players can be.

Fark, Ajit Agarkar is a prick. Pricks don't eat cake because they never get invited to parties and they're too stingy to go buy some cake of their own.

Stani, yes. Anything else you wanted to get out of the way?

Esra, you can't have been drinking for over 12 hours! Don't die on us, really. It's very unpleasant, all this dying business.

Boncam, half the world revelled in that joy. Everyone hates him so.

Stani Army said...

Wooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Stani Army! Stani Army!

Laughing Amy? Laughing Ankit?

Q said...

Amy, I hope u got u baked ur cake and blew the candles and enjoyed the whole jig while making a night out of it, but I also hope that u learnt a lesson or two abt calling against Pakistan ;-)

Amy said...

Never. Go New Zealand.