Wednesday, 6 May 2009

Oh, Kevin

No, not that one, the other one. When he's not eating his own earwax or jetting around the world with my money, I think I am in love with the man.

Really, truly. If you don't love Kev, there is something seriously wrong with you.

Kevin's stimulus packages have been quite stimulating, apparently. Retail sales growth over 2%. Take that, world. We beat you, thanks to our dear old desire to spend infinite amounts of money.

What does this have to do with cricket, you say? NOTHING.

In other news, I met John Safran today. Dreams do come true, people. I promised to shamelessly plug his shows and him. John Safran is better than Rove McManus, people. Far better. He even tried to get a fatwa placed on Rove on his show John Safran vs. God:

What's more, he endured beatings from Buddhist monks in Japan for YOUR viewing pleasure:

And soon, he will be bursting onto your screens in John Safran's Race Relations.

He even crucified himself (for real, I'm not making any of this shit up). AB would call the mockery of Jesus deplorable, but I call it rather ingenious:

The ICC is shitting their pants right now. They're being upstaged by a bloody Aussie with a ridiculous voice. But that's John for you.


missjane said...

well, given the amount of time he spends overseas, you'd only be in love with him about half the time.

i can *not* stand listening to him; he's even worse (or better, depending on how you look at it) than John Howard in speaking an impenetrable dialect of bureaucratese which annoys me so much that i have to change stations. it is a desecration of the English language, which includes things like making up words such as bureaucratese. :)

but i *am* from WA, and we didn't want him.

go the secessionists... then we could have our own cricket team, and get Katich back. and the Marshes, related or not.

David Barry said...

John Safran is awesome. My favourite moment from his shows was in his closing rant in an episode of John Safran vs God. He talked about how some failed applicant for Race Around the World had said that Safran only got on the show because he was Jewish.

It was an entertaining rant. I can't remember all of how it goes. "Yes, a group of rabbis in Jerusalem got together and appointed ME as the person who would get on a television show on the ABC." Something like that. And then the hilarious finish: "...or maybe it was because you're a fat, lazy, bucket-bong smoking shithead who sat around watching Ricki Lake all day and didn't even film his application video until the night before, you Dorito eating FUCK.

Until next week, go to hell."

Amy said...

MJ, I wish I could explain the allure of Kevin, but it is something entirely intangible. He's so earnest and even his earwax-eating tendencies pale in comparison to John's eyebrows. But bureaucratese? I ask you, WHAT WAS THE POLITICAL SHITSTORM FOR? What was it for? I taught him how to say that to be hip and in touch with the general population.

David, haha, he really is great even if he called Kevin Rudd a vampire. I thought the voodoo ceremony and the exorcism were particularly hilarious, though.

Ray Martin will never live any of it down.