Friday, 8 May 2009

Gunther the Kind Beast

I wish I had been watching the Middlesex vs. Surrey match, because the most perfect thing happened and I cannot even begin to imagine how great if would have been if I'd seen this with my own eyes.

While Phillip was waving around his bat, hitting all the bowlers for boundaries wherever they went, Andre Nel was having a little sentimental moment too:

Soon after completing his third hundred in only four championship innings, from 126 balls, Hughes stepped away to leg to flay André Nel through the covers for his nineteenth boundary. Then he twice pulled him for four, with quite remarkable power for one so slight. It was contemptuous batting and Nel's response was a high full toss that brought a protest from Hughes, and an apology from the former South Africa bowler.

Keep in mind, bowling a high full toss at Phil is a bit like bowling to a 10 year old. Sounds okay, right? But you've yet to see the worst of it:

At the end of the over, too, Nel approached Hughes and put an arm around his shoulder.

AHHHHHH. That is the only appropriate response to a horrifying event like this.

My only explanation is that the English have hired Gunther to assassinate Phil before the Ashes. I vote for an ex-army general to follow Phil around at all costs and protect him from the evil plans of our enemies.

Putting his arm around Phil is just the precursor to something much worse, Buffalo Bill-style.

"It puts the lotion on its skin, or else it gets the hose again."

Yes it does, Precious.

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