Friday, 8 May 2009

Julio the Crocodile Hunter

Sara has sent in a very fascinating link to an interview with Dale Steyn at Cricinfo. It is revealing, to say the least. They have used the infamous picture of AB and Dale (of Love Saga fame) to accompany what is at times a funny interview. Funny in that you will laugh at Dale.

Take, for example:

I caught a crocodile not so long ago and it was a total accident... I can write about it in my book one day.
Talk about confidence and planning for the future, Dale Steyn's already got a bestseller mapped out in his head, to be titled: The Steyninator 101, a sort of glorified choose-your-own-adventure story of his life in which you battle mutant cows and overgrown cane toads.

My grandparents call me Champ. All my team-mates call me Julio. AB de Villiers gave it to me about five years ago and it just stuck. There is no real reason for it.
That's just real Love Saga material. Having insider nicknames for each other. "Julio" is a combination of both "Juliet" and "Romeo". BET YOU NEVER KNEW THAT. See, this is why I'm here. To tell you this stuff. I thought Steynki was enough, but apparently we now have to deal with a Julio as well.

Which cricketer would you pick to go with on a trip into the wild?
Actually I'll have to take both Morkel brothers - Albie and Morne. All three of us enjoy fishing, and they have a long history going into the bush and stuff like that, so they know their way around in the wild.
Strangely bizarre, sounds like Albie and Morne had a horrible childhood in which their manic father would regularly take them for trips into the wild to hunt tigers. He had a moustache and to this date, whenever Albie or Morne see a person with a stache they are reminded of their father and the bits of deer that used to be permanently lodged above his lip from eating raw meat in the jungle.

But a better story would be one of Morne and Albie being trained in the sounds of the jungle, clicking their tongues and waiting for the response from the wild animals to tell them which way is north. Or better yet, a Tarzan-style knowledge of the wild to accompany Julio's wild rampages as he chases deer over land, trying to become a Deer Hunter too. Robert De Niro was always his favourite actor.

If you were to play James Bond, who would you pick as the female lead? Not counting your girlfriend.
You're gonna have to put my girlfriend, purely because she is an actress. Jeanne Kietzmann is her name and you need to put it down. Otherwise Natalie Portman, because she looks similar.
I do believe they said "not counting your girlfriend" or maybe he thought they'd just stuck that in there for no reason and that they didn't know Jeanne was an actress. However, the rather interchangeable Jeanne is odd. It's kind of creepy going around and figuring out which actress your girlfriend looks like. Maybe it's on Jeanne's CV: "Looks like Natalie Portman."

Tell us about one sledge you will never forget.
I still remember what Matthew Hayden said in my very first Test against Australia, last year in Perth. I bowled the first ball of the match to Simon Katich and it ran wide and Mark Boucher took it in front of first slip. Hayden turned around and said I was going to be so nervous the whole game that I would bowling wides for the rest of the game. I shot back saying, "I doubt that I'm the nervous one because I don't have to come a day before the Test and sit in the middle of the pitch and try and visualise where I'm going to score my first runs." It was an interesting chat we had.
Good one. Did it take you all of half an hour to say that? And who's willing to bet Haydos didn't understand a single word of it, especially if Julio said it in a retarded saffa accent.

Imagine Steyn all proud of himself for coming up with an irritatingly long "insult" and looking rather pleased with himself afterwards even though he was the only person who understood it. And imagine him thinking it was such a clever response he decided to recite it word for word to a reporter 6 months later, citing it as the "one sledge you'll never forget".

If you want a real sledge, take Eddo Brandes vs. McGrath:
"Why are you so fat?"
"Because everytime I make love to your wife, she gives me a biscuit."

Or even Arjuna Ranatunga replying to Ian Healy's classic "Bowl a Mars Bar half way down...We'll get him stumped." with a particularly hilarious, "Nah, Boonie fielding at short leg will be onto it before I can move."

But "I doubt that I'm the nervous one because I don't have to come a day before the Test and sit in the middle of the pitch and try and visualise where I'm going to score my first runs" ?

That's Julio the Crocodile Hunter for you.


Sara said...

Woah I really could have Never thought that Julio= Juliet+Romeo!! This AB is really an intelligent Twat I guess, well atleast in These things!

Morne is sex on a stick said...

Maybe the Morkel brothers were sent into the wild to fetch dinner.

Sara said...

Ofcourse! Dale, sorry I meant, JULIO obviousely wouldnt take those 2 without any profit for himself, being such a mean thing he is!

12th Man said...

The art of sledging requires one to keep it short and simple.

The crocodile hunter would have costed his captain on over rates if he had to sledge something like this.

Amy said...

Sara, AB is a clever man underneath all that Bible lovin'.

MISOAS, Hello Morne is sex on a stick. Good to see you here.

12th, too bad it's the one time he actually thought he was being clever. The rest of the time he usually says something like "Piss off, loser!!!!", "hahaha you're a pussy!!!" or "I have a hotter girlfriend than you!!!" All in an unintelligble accent, of course.

Morne is sex on a stick said...

The Steyn sledge was too long, it didn't sound authentic. I bet Morne has the hottest girlfriend of them all.

Q said...

I should be credited for that pic :-)

Esra_Star said...

I think the saffa's need to go to Australian school of sledging. It also appears the love saga has been solved, and the loser is Harris. Poor lad, I always thought he and AB would make a cute couple.

Oh and the image of Steyn doing a Steve Irwin impression in his little saffa accent is pretty bloody funny.

Sara said...

So Amy, when's your Love Saga of this 2 starting again then? You were waiting for proofs, now you've got them!

Amy said...

MISOAS, I bet he doesn't have a girlfriend. But even if he does, it's pretty hard to go past Shamone.

Q, of course, oh God of Suspicious AB Photos.

Esra, Australians don't have a sledging school. We're just naturally gifted like that, growing up watching our favurite heroes call Sri Lankans "Pakis" and make other such racist comments. Although, the word Paki in Australia doesn't have racist undertones as it does in other countries.

Sara, I'm on the hunt for AB and Dale photos then. :)

Sara said...

Well, in that case, I've got a few:

But I'm sure Gallo has more than enough proof of this relationship:)

Amy said...

Nice finds. Give me some time and I'm sure you'll have your wish fulfilled.

Sara said...

Okie :P

Anonymous said...

its actually Hoolio...not Julio...your info bit outdated...

Amy said...

Actually, it's quite recent. Is it really Hoolio then? Why would he tell a reporter otherwise?

Q said...

It is Julio, only pronounced as Hoolio...

Amy said...

I did think so at first, but then became confused by the strangeness of the written word Hoolio.

I'm Hoolio. Almost sounds funny if you write it like that.

The MG said...

Which reminds me of a story (I can't remember the details) that the ABC Grandstand team were telling, about a Nerds v Julios (pronounced Hoolios) friendly game.

Gallo has a ridiculously large collection of images of AB and pretty much every guy in the recent South African teams. The most eyebrow-raising (aside from his ones with Paul and the kiss for Dale, of course) is one of him and Nicky Boje :O

The MG said...

Some of the best AB+guy pics at Gallo (the link addresses are too long to post, so here's the name of the photo - just go to, select Sport and type in the Search box)

> AB and Robin Peterson dancing: TL_722982
> AB and Dale: TL_704315 and TL_692005 and TL_686096
> AB and Mark Boucher: TL_553315 (what is Gunther thinking, I wonder)
> AB, Andrew Hall and Mark Boucher: TL_546836 (Gunther is looking on again...)
> AB and Gunther (finally): TL_547510
> AB and Mark (again): TL_679952 and TL_665766 and TL_662918 and TL_636701
> AB just spotted Paul Harris: TL_541998
> AB just spotted Paul again...: TL_669488
> AB and Nicky Boje: TL_503630
> AB and Bouch in the shower: TL_494618
> AB and Jacques Rudolph dancing: TL_490768
> AB and Graeme Smith: TL_490397 and TL_675886 and TL_490400
> AB and Polly: TL_479958
> AB and Polly - nothing like playing hard to get: TL_473872
> Shaun loves chasing AB: TL_675103
> Charl Langeveldt desperately trying to avoid a bit of loving from AB: TL_468122
> Just imagine Dale and AB's honeymoon: TL_450680 and TL_444199 and TL_435312
> AB and...everyone: TL_431277
> AB and Morne: TL_692085
> AB and Paul: TL_68104 and TL_669756 and TL_646996
> Matchmaker, matchmaker: TL_679262
> AB and Prince: TL_674514
> A little threesome: TL_669502
> From AB and Paul's honeymoon: TL_665807
> Once AB hits the alcohol, anyone (male) will do: TL_658753 and TL_658670

And I had to include this one because it cracked me up: TL_683101

Sorry for the long post, but these are gems!

Amy said...

Dear me, MG. I do believe some of those will be finding their way into the Love Saga, when I find the time. I'm a little hard pressed for it at the moment.

But those are just amazing. Oh AB. Why do you do this to yourself?

The MG said...

And have you checked out AB's video on his website "Delhi Daredevils travelling to Joburg"? A kiss and an "I luuuurve AB" from Maharoof - on camera. Now not too sure why a guy would allow something like that to go on his website - but AB's photos have some of the Gallo classics anway, so maybe it's to be expected :P

Esra_Star said...

Wow The MG, just wow. What a collection! I found this on Gallo, not sure what to think but it is rather amusing. AB gets rough with Bouch and Jacques lurks creepily in the background: TL_464719.

The MG said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The MG said...

Ah yes, that face from Jacques is very creepy. Not unexpected though - Jacques always has his creepy face on for the cameras!

And after Bouch's website and some of these photos, I've had to review my opinion of his macho-ness.

Amy said...

The video on AB's site is excellent evidence to prove my case. I do forgive AB for the moment with Sehwag's baby. The kid is rather cute and it's natural for AB's mothering instinct to kick in.

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