Saturday 9 May 2009

Giving Jesus the steering wheel

I can also take everything in and allow it to affect me as a person. But, there's really only one way for me to get through situations like that! And that's to give Jesus the steering wheel and asking Him to drive for me!!

- AB de Villiers, Bastard child of Jesus and Mary Magdalene

With that ominous prophecy, Delhi came out to chase a pathetic total of 116 by the Mumbai Indians. Could they do it? It was up to Jesus from here on in. Little did they know Jesus was a little tipsy after turning too much water into wine, causing the first 3 Delhi batsmen to fall for under 20, or close to it in David Warner's case.

But AB, that AB, he was the designated driver that night, and even though he may have let a drunk Jesus handle the steering wheel, it only worked in his favour as he got to his bloody 50 from 38 balls.

JP Duminy was out for a duck. At least AB didn't take any catches, although he did ask Gambhir if he could have a bowl.

And the man of the match was Nehra the Penguin. 2/27. LOL TAKE THAT AB.

I guess giving the steering wheel to Jesus isn't enough to win MoM. Sometimes you have to sleep with all the right people like the Penguin Whore to ensure you're the real winner. That's a good lesson for AB to learn.

Meanwhile, there's an interview with AB up at Cricinfo, which features an incident with Ricky Ponting I once talked about.

15 comments:

Leela said...

Yeah that was wierd Nehra getting the MOM, especially after that cussing session he had with poor Kartik.
And AB's 50.

AB de Villiers, Bastard child of Jesus and Mary Magdalene lol.

achettup said...

AB didn't hit a single four in that innings. Jesus blew kisses off his bat.

Short of a Length's Very Own AB deVilliers. Spreading the Love.

rahul said...

AB did take a very decent catch to dismiss Nayar!

Morne is sex on a stick. said...

AB rocks, though is not as sexy as Morne. There is a rumour going around that Morne is still a virgin though.

Amy said...

Leela, you wouldn't happen to know what he said, would you?

Atchettup, I see what you're trying to do, spreading the AB Virus everywhere. I won't let anyone be similarly brainwashed as you have. One victim is more than enough.

Rahul, fuck I'd forgotten that. Damn, AB always has to take a catch.

MISOAS, no he isn't, he went at it with a giraffe. You heard it here first.

Esra_Star said...

I was thinking AB was going to be shown up by his toy boy Warner with an awesome run out but then AB smothered him in the celebrations and caused the brain fade which saw Davey boy get stumped and AB come in and shine. Stupid AB.

Amy said...

You can't blame AB, it was Jesus driving the success train for him. Toot toot.

Dawid said...

AB - is he some sort of religious freak?

Anonymous said...

Please don't insult Christianity!!

richie_141 said...

Since you asked so nicely...

Amy said...

Anon, I'm mostly insulting AB which therefore extends to Christianity, because he is, as Dawid pointed out, a religious fanatic.

I have plenty of Christian friends; none of them talk of giving the steering wheel to Jesus and letting him drive, because that's some sort of crackpot religious talk. So no, if I can't point out the insanity of that statement, I'm afraid I can't stop insulting Christianity.

It's a shame. I was really beginning to like you too.

richie_141 said...

Besides, I'm pretty sure it's illegal to let Jesus steer your car. It's that whole two hands on the steering wheel, ten to two thing. It's a bummer, but even the Great AB de Villiers can't break The Law.

My dad got pulled over eating an icecream one summer. The police officer made him sit on the side of the road and finish it. It was as hot as Satan's toenails. Good times.

Amy said...

The cops once drank my dad's bottled piss. No wait, that was Dumb and Dumber. Damn.

The first time I was pulled over I was just a stupid L-plater and I got out of the car even though it was past midnight. The police thought I was going to attack them or something. Hilarious in hindsight.

12th Man said...

Sachin's one over spoiled it all.

By the way, are you a christian Amy?

Amy said...

Not in this day and life. I certainly grew up as one but then came a time when I started seeing through shit, somewhere in my early teens. Apparently I was always destined to be a free thinker. I like the sound of that.

AB had the guts to hit Sachin for 19. That sickens me, well and truly sickens me.