Friday, 12 June 2009

The thing about Shane Watson

Okay, I might as well get this out of the way. I've refrained from doing so previously because it's weird in a very strange way but now I really just have to say it. The thing about Shane Watson is that I cannot dislike him and there is a very specific reason for that.

It is because of this photo:

You might think that's well and fine, and that there's nothing particularly special about the photo, that in fact he looks a little retarded, but you see that expression? I know a three year old who makes the exact same expression. And I like the kid.
So you see, therein lies the predicament I am in. After making the initial association with a tiny little midget belonging to a friend of mine, I am doomed to forever make that association with Shane Watson. And while he most certainly does not look the way he does in the photo, I can't help it, I immediately think of cute kids. And that makes it all the more difficult to dislike Shane.
In that way, while he may not be my favourite cricketer, I will be unable to dislike him either. It is the way of the world, I have no hand in it. And that is the end of this explanation. So for future reference, just keep this in mind. I am rendered incapable of disliking the man and it will show.


Stani Army said...

No Ames, no. You must make the distinction. The kids a kid but this guy's a cunt. Association my arse... in fact, make that ass-ociation.

You know what he's doing in that photo? He's just dismissed Albie Morkel and is giving him a send off telling him where to go.

Now, you will forever associate the dismissal and subsequent sledging of Albie with this photo. Good stuff.

The Nightwatchgirl said...

Stani - your language is dreadful.

But Amy, NWG thinks the reason why she likes Shane Watson is because he's more reliable than Flintoff in the injury stakes.

If there's going to be anyone who slips a disc while having a shower, or twists an ankle whilst going up the stairs, it's him.

Go Shane.

Stani Army said...

My apologies NWG but this guy really pisses me off. Plus, I have been told by Ames that I can swear....probably because I do so little.

...and this is a Australian blog so it helps to write in Australian.

Esra_Star said...

Stani, you're Australian is impressive. You're learning well!

I agree NWG Watto is shockingly good at creating new ways to fuck his body up.

Unfortunately Amy, Watto shits me. He's a useless cricketer, always injured and a "pretty boy".

boncam said...

Fuck Watson, he is a pansie.
Rock on, Stani. Love your Australian. :)

Stani Army said...

Thanks Ezzy

Amy said...

Stani, no sorry, did you read the post at all? He looks like a cute 3 year old, and that match wasn't against South Africa so don't try that shit on me. Also, your Australian needs work. I don't see any colloquialisms in there at all. "Cunt" won't do.

NWG, he learnt from the best. And the best is - wait for it - Freddie himself. So there you go.

Esra, well, some pretty boys are okay, as long as they have other desirable qualities.

Boncam, I'm impervious to any negative comments about Watson. I thought you knew.

Stani Army said...

Thanks Bonny!

Esra and Boncam think my blood's worth bottling Ames. Plus, it' gonna take time. Banana land wasn't built in a day you know. As for now, the bad lingo will have to do.

Freddy can't even speak English, why would I use him for my Australian?

boncam said...


missjane said...

Amy, you already know I have a soft spot for Watson, but happy to go public on it.

Watson is a deeply talented cricketer; sadly his body is just not cut out for it. Clearly designed mostly for looking at.

I admit, he injuries himsful just thinking about walking upstairs, but dammit, he looks good doing it. And he's from Queensland, mates with Roy and Mitch, so where's the issue?

Stani, can deal with the language, but please work on the grammar. This is AN Australian blog - 'an' before vowels, a before consonants. Also how can Watson have pissed you off when he's never fit for longer than one match??

Amy said...

You don't have a soft spot for Shane, you have a soft limb... Or something. I don't really know what that is supposed to mean.

I reckon the photo of him with the fake ashes urn was the most plastic he's ever looked. Otherwise, he's okay.

Stani Army said...

Missjane; If I had bothered spending time checking and re-checking what I post on here like you did in your last post, then may be you won't find mistakes. But bollocks to that. This is an informal blog, I'm not a professional writer, and you make plenty of grammatical mistakes yourself. So much for your argument. Try to deal with the grammar too.

In answer to your question; If you can like Watson for non-cricketing reasons then he can piss me off for none cricketing reasons even though he hasn't.