Friday, 5 June 2009

Stuart Broad tells the best joke ever heard to mankind

It's true, he does. In an interview with the Guardian, Stuart Broad gets his funny on. Take this hilarious joke for instance:
What's the name of the fastest cake?
Too late, it's scone.
Did you laugh? I did. I spent a good ten minutes laughing at the one. Good one, Broady! He's a riot, that boy.

He also likes bananas and has a rather creepy banana fetish, the details of which I won't go into. It is too disturbing.

Broad still has some genius left in him. He tries claiming he has hit puberty, but nobody believes him of course. Then comes the biggest shock. Not only is he physically doomed to be trapped in the body of a 9 year old, but he is also on a similar mental platform as a 9 year old:
What is the best sledge ever aimed at you?
I can never really explain what is going on when I'm getting sledged. So, I end up just nodding and smiling, which seems to annoy them more.
Jesus, no use trying to sledge the boy, it'll just go completely over the top of his head. To be honest, sometimes you can sympathise with him. Dale Steyn, who is not very well known for his sledging abilities, has had a crack at sending some comments down Broad's way. Here is the result, as dictated by Stuart:

Do you play dumb or does it come naturally? I think.... I mean, Dale Steyn just called me Baywatch for the whole series when we played against them [South Africa]. I didn't really know what he meant, it certainly wasn't for my strapping figure.

Hahahahaha, and with that, my friends, I leave you, although not to do anything particularly interesting. Canberra is a pretty boring place at night, I'm afraid. I know the locals like its... smallness, but damn, I wouldn't want to live here my whole life. It's good for occasional visits. Fingers crossed I don't have to start living here.

Now go watch some cricket.


boncam said...


Esra_Star said...

For a scary looking bloke Steyn would be much better if he kept his mouth shut.

Hope you survive Canberra Amy. I went there once, got lost and saw the lake a fuck load of times. Plenty of porn and fireworks though...

Crownish said...

i think Broad and Key should exchange their last names.
would..uhm 'fit' them

Ankit Poddar said...

Amusing indeed!


Could you please add All Padded Up, with its new URL to the blog roll


Thanks in advance or something like that!

Stani Army said...

Miserable b***ards should not be allowed to tell jokes. It doesn't fit their personality.

Technically speaking, is a scone not a bread rather than a cake?

Indophile said...

who really ask this sort of shitty questions ?

Anonymous said...

"Jesus, no use trying to sledge the boy, it'll just go completely over the top of his head."

In fairness, it's about six feet six inches off the floor so that'd take some effort...

And as my current employment involves the selling of scones (the joys of temping work as a student!) I can safely say they are definitely cakes!


Prabu said...

Turns out Broady can't catch, hold the ball in his hand while running out, throw at the stumps or hold the ball back and not give overthrows. The look on his face in that last over - priceless!

Stani Army said...

Noooo Heather, it's a bread. Stop turning things into cakes. It's not good for you.

(Plus, if you tell people it's a bread, you can get away with having many more!)

Don't tell anyone I told you that. I am not liable for any weight gain which may be a direct result of following the above advice.

Amy said...

Ankit, you've been re-blogrolled.

And it's so darn English to gorge yourself on scones, pausing at regular intervals to spread some homemade jam on them.

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